“What did that guy say to you?”
Sasha’s question turned her around.
“What guy?”
“Really?” Aria was shaking her head. “Please. In the fifteen years I’ve known you, I’ve never seen you tongue-tied. You stared at the guy as if you’d forgotten your name.”
For a second, she had. Because she hadn’t been Jenny when she knew Orion.
She’d been Jacie, working undercover as a reporter, stationed on base to gather local intel.
He had no idea she’d been part of the CIA operation who pulled the trigger on their mission. On the ambush that had cost him so much.
She hadn’t been completely sure of that until today, when she looked in his eyes and saw nothing of accusation. When she’d heard pleading, not anger, not blame in his words.
He really didn’t know.
She planned on keeping it that way. She just couldn’t destroy his life all over again.
But Sasha deserved to know. After all, secrets led to lies, and she was done with lies.
Mostly.
“Okay, here’s the thing,” Jenny said. “I knew him, back when I served in Afghanistan.” She set down the altimeter and leaned against the desk.
Aria stopped her unpacking and slid onto the bed. “Oh my . . .”
“Yes. That was Orion Starr.”
Aria’s mouth opened. “Suddenly everything makes complete sense. Now I understand why you can’t forget a guy you ‘just had a crush on.’” She finger-quoted her words. “Whatever.”
“We were just friends. Nothing happened. We didn’t even kiss.”
“But you wish you had.”
Jenny gave her a face.
“C’mon, Jen. It’s not just the way you talk about him, but that guy was definitely kissable.”
“Yeah, well, he didn’t feel that way about me. He had a job to do, and so did I. We just . . . just found each other during a time when we both needed a friend.”
Sasha sat on Jenny’s bed. “You served with him? Did he recognize you?”
And how.
Jacie? It’s me, Rian.
“He . . . yeah. But I denied it.” She blew out a breath. “Aw, shoot.” She looked at Aria. “I don’t know why, I just . . . I panicked, I guess. I didn’t want to face him, and . . . maybe he believed me. I did look different back then. I wore my hair shorter, and mostly in a hijab—it was part of my job as a reporter.”
“Aren’t you a psychologist?” Sasha asked.
She sighed, glanced at Aria, who lifted a shoulder. Fine. No secrets.
“No—yes—but, no, back then I was a profiler, working for the CIA.”
And she just let that hang out there, let it hit Sasha, who drew her lips down, nodding. “I’m suddenly impressed.”
“Yeah, well, don’t be. I made a terrible mistake that cost men their lives.”
Sasha frowned.
“Yeah. And that guy at the festival? He was one of the survivors. One of the pararescue jumpers who went in to save the men I sent to their deaths. He was seriously injured. Had to have his knee replaced and learn to walk again.”
Outside, the sun had started to slide behind the mountains, sending a haunting orange over the sky.
“What happened?” Sasha said. “Or is it classified?”
“Yes, but . . . well, I don’t know if it is anymore. Basically, my team was working with a couple local informants. One of them was the son whose father had Taliban connections—used to deliver supplies to them in the mountains. He was ten and loved to play soccer with our guys. One of our guys was teaching him English. He wanted to move to America. I thought he was a trustworthy source, so when we finally pried the location of the Taliban stronghold out of him, I vetted it as good and passed it on to command.”
She was oversimplifying and she knew it, but . . . what could she say? That the kid played them all? That she knew something wasn’t right, but she’d let her head overrule her heart? That she’d thought it was simply her feelings for Orion that made her afraid?
Yeah, so many mistakes, and mostly because she’d broken her life motto—Don’t fall in love. Because that’s exactly when it will turn on you.
“Command confirmed the intel with drone flyovers and a Ranger group and decided to send in a group of SEALs to root them out before winter set in.”
For a second she was standing in HQ at their FOB, staring at the drone screen as Master Chief McCord communicated with Echo team. Listening to the radio chatter, her stomach a fist in her gut as they crept up on the stronghold.
“It was an ambush. Azzumi betrayed us by warning his father, who warned the Taliban.” She shook her head. “Of the eight-man SEAL team, two were killed. The six who survived radioed in for help—they’d evacuated to a cave in the mountain. That’s when Orion and his PJ team went in.”
She got up and pulled out the repair kit, opening it, looking over the bolts, washers, baling wire, snowshoe eyelets. “Their chopper was shot out of the sky. Two PJs died. Orion and another PJ, along with the SEALs, managed to get into the tunnels and they were fighting their way through to the other side.” She pulled out the Leatherman and tested it. “Except there was an explosion and half the tunnel collapsed. Two SEALs were caught on the other side.”
She closed the Leatherman and put it back in the pack. “They were captured.”
Sasha had drawn up her legs, wrapping her arms around them.
Aria had heard the story before, but she looked away, her eyes blinking hard.
“I never found out what happened to them.”
Sasha frowned.
Jenny tossed the repair kit onto the desk, next to the altimeter. She refrained from the next words, although they built inside. Because no one wanted a psychologist who had suffered a nervous breakdown. Instead, she met Sasha’s eyes. “I was unprepared for the guilt, the fact that my mistake had caused the death and injury of so many men. And not just any men—heroes. SEALs and PJs.” Men she cared about. A man she loved.
No. Not loved.
Cared for.
Okay, arguing with herself wouldn’t help. “I left the CIA, moved to Minneapolis, started my PTSD practice, and never looked back.”
“Until today,” Aria said.
Until today. She nodded.
“No wonder you looked like you’d been punched.”
“I did not.”
“Uh, yeah, you did,” Sasha said. “Did you know he’d be here?”
She kept her voice even. “Orion used to talk about Denali, and I knew he grew up around here, and maybe I got the idea from him, but . . .”
Okay, it had crossed her mind that he might be here, more than once.
Her head betraying her heart again. Because seeing him standing there, the wind in his hair, wearing his canvas jacket and gray Gore-Tex pants, had knocked her sideways.
Stirred up the heat she’d tried to forget, to run from.
“You said that Orion was one of the PJs? Does he know . . . well, what you did?” Sasha asked, bringing up exactly why she should Stop. Thinking. About. Him.
“I don’t think so, but I’m not going to stick around and find out.” Jenny stood up and pulled out her cell phone to call Kit. “That’s why I want to make sure we don’t screw this up and get stuck on the mountain with a bunch of unprepared climbing wannabes. The last thing I want is for Orion to have to climb a mountain to rescue me.”