Ham too had helped him up. “Then find me a ride, bros, because you’re right. God isn’t quite done with me yet.”
Jake raised an eyebrow.
Ham just grinned. “Oh good. This is my favorite part of the rescue.”
Orion looped his arm over Ham’s shoulder, letting him help him off the tarmac while Jake ran to find a pilot. “What part?”
“The part where my buddy comes to his senses and goes after the girl he’s been crazy about for three years.”
Orion grinned. “Yes. Yes it is.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
JENNY SAT in the padded chair of the ICU waiting area in the Anchorage Regional Hospital, a blanket around her shoulders, five stitches in her forehead, her arm in a sling—not sure if she’d really ever be warm again.
Even with Aria’s endless supply of coffee from the sludge machine in the corner.
“I keep telling them I’ll make a new pot,” Aria said. “There’s nothing worse than burned hospital coffee.” She sat down next to Jenny, propping her crutch against the sofa.
Her ankle was badly sprained, but not broken, and the descent from Denali to Anchorage had cleared her lungs of any pulmonary edema.
Aria and Sasha had arrived nearly six hours before she had, and Sasha had been admitted right into the ICU.
Jenny’s entire body ached, right down to her bones. Especially with the news of Sasha’s cerebral edema.
And her pre-trip miscarriage.
“I wish she’d told me about the baby. And her trip to Florida. I could have . . .” Jenny stared into her coffee. “I’m so sorry I talked you into this nightmare.”
“What? She wanted to go on the trip,” Aria said. “We all did.”
Aria wore a sweatshirt she’d purchased at the gift shop with a moose embroidered on the front, a pair of scrub pants, and her polar booties. She’d showered, too, her dark hair clean and in waves down her back. With the fading tan on her face, she looked like a woman just back from vacation in Cancun. “You didn’t talk us into anything, Jen. We wanted to go. We’re stronger than we think we are, right?”
Jenny had nothing. Because no. She was tired of being strong.
Tired of everything, really. Tired of holding on to secrets, thinking she could run from them. Tired of trying to control everything. Trying to save people.
Just . . . tired.
Aria reached out her hand. “We’re okay. And Sasha is going to be okay. Lucas is in there with her, and you know how tenacious he is.”
It seemed she was surrounded by tenacious men.
“You should have seen him when we arrived off the mountain. He walked right over to Sasha, picked her up, and carried her to the plane, all the while tears streaking down his face. He really loves her.”
Of course Aria’s words stirred up the image of Orion, weeping, the sound of the scream that lifted through the crevasse.
“He really loves her.”
Well, Orion certainly didn’t love her—and not that she expected him to, but . . .
She turned away to stare out the window. Ironically, Denali soared, uncluttered by clouds, free from the caprices of weather. White-capped, the granite shoulders spreading out as if trying to call her back to its embrace.
If she closed her eyes, she could easily find herself back in Orion’s embrace, waking to the smell of him, listening to his breathing, calm and steady.
Or, perhaps with him under the stars in Afghanistan. “My parents named me after the constellation because it was the brightest one in the sky. But I like to think it was because Orion was a hunter.”
Yes. A hunter of the lost.
He’d saved her, and she’d broken him.
No, he wouldn’t love her. But as she drew up her knees on the sofa, she couldn’t deny the truth.
She’d loved Orion for years. Being with him only reignited the longing he’d first stirred in her.
Orion was safety. She loved the way he measured his words, the way he assured her everything would be okay. And sure, he’d had a moment of unchecked emotion, but that only told her that inside his cool exterior was a man whose feelings ran deep.
The way he’d kissed her only confirmed it.
Orion might be ice on the outside, but inside was a man of heat and passion.
With everything inside her, Jenny wanted to be loved by Orion Starr.
In fact, she wanted it so much, it frightened her.
Don’t fall in love. Because that’s exactly when it will turn on you.
But it wasn’t Orion’s fault . . . she wouldn’t love her, either.
A hand squeezed her arm and she opened her eyes. Aria nodded toward the door, and she looked over to see Lucas McGuire heading toward them.
She sat up, a fist in her chest. “What?”
“The swelling is going down and Sasha woke up.”
He stood over them, radiating the intensity that made him a sought-after ER doc. Now, it felt a little like he was trying not to unravel.
“Lucas?” Aria said and made to get up.
He shook his head. Sat down. Folded his hands behind his neck and leaned his head forward.
Said nothing.
Only after a moment of his rattled breaths did Jenny realize he was crying.
Oh. Uh.
Aria scooted beside him and put her arm around her colleague.
Jenny’s eyes filled too. “Lucas, I’m so sorry I put you through this.”
He looked up at her then, his eyes reddened. “This isn’t your fault, Jenny. If anything, it’s mine. I shouldn’t have taken her to Florida right before your trip. I know about altitude sickness. That was just . . . stupid.” He shook his head and leaned back, running his hands through his hair, rucking it up. “It’s a miracle that she’s alive. God was watching out for you.”
Jenny didn’t see it quite that way, and maybe her frown told him that.
“If Orion and Ham and Jake hadn’t been here, climbing. If Orion didn’t know the mountain so well, I’m not sure we would have ever found you.”
Jenny’s throat tightened. “Or, I could have not taken them up the mountain.”
Lucas shook his head. “That’s not the answer. We don’t stop living life just because bad things can, or will, happen. We just keep going forward, trusting in God’s plan for us, even if bad things happen. God is still there, still in control. Still saving us. Still protecting us.”
“And what about a plan that . . .” She made a face. “The one that causes us to suffer? Puts my friend in intensive care?”
“God doesn’t guarantee that we won’t have trouble, Jenny. But he does say that he is with us in our suffering. And ultimately he has a plan that, despite the hurt, can be used for our good.”
She looked away. “I don’t believe that.”
Silence.
She looked at Aria, Lucas. “Hello. God blew us off the mountain!”
“He also rescued you off the mountain. He proved to you that even when you’re stuck in a crevasse, he can find you. He can pull you free. Don’t assign truth to experiences, or your faith to your feelings. You have to base everything on who God is. Good. Loving. Our rescuer.”
“Even if people die? What if his plan includes that?”
Lucas looked at her, a quick tightening to his jaw. “Then it includes death. I see it all the time. But even in that, God is there, and it doesn’t mean he loves us any less.”