“Go on, Lottie. Introduce yourself.” She motions for me to get to it, and I’m about to do just that when I spot an odd sight near the refreshment table. “Just one minute.”
I take off for the breakfast bar and reach between two familiar women.
“Don’t mind me,” I say. “Just sneaking a quick cruller.” I pull back and do my best to look shocked. “Lorena and Donata? Is it you?”
Flo pops up next to me and smirks. “You know darn well it’s them. But what are they doing here?”
They both have on yoga pants and a coat wrapped around them. Lorena’s dark locks are pulled into a ponytail, as are Donata’s red tresses.
“Lottie Lemon?” Lorena blinks back. “What a coincidence. We just finished up at Swift Cycle and a couple of the women we met suggested we swing by for free food and some tips on romance.”
Donata winks. “Not that we need it. We’ve got all the men we can handle.”
Flo shakes her head. “She’s lying.”
“Swift Cycle, huh?” I muse. “That’s pretty much an all-woman gym. I bet you burned some calories while recruiting for the Ruthless Witches.” That clever moniker has stuck in my head like a bad song, so I thought I’d get it out of my system and throw it out there.
Lorena shakes her head emphatically. “Oh no, the Ruthless Witches is only open to women with blood ties to a bona fide family. But we picked up a couple dozen members last night at bingo. After we collect a few more, we’re doing our initiation ceremony.”
Donata bats her lashes at her friend. “And, of course, we’ll both be padrinas.”
“Both?” Flo glides back a foot as if she were truly blown away.
I shake my head. “What’s a padrina?”
Lorena tips her head and shrugs. “It’s a godmother. It’s usually not a shared position. Flo was taking the position herself, but without her here we decided to divide the duty.”
“No way.” Flo eyes them both with suspicion. “That’s not how it works. You don’t get respect that way. You get respect by having one godmother, and she has to be ruthless or you may as well pick up a couple of knitting needles and call it the granny hour.”
I’m guessing she’s right.
Swift Cycle is the gym across the street from the Cutie Pie Bakery and Cakery that just so happens to be owned by Noah’s ex-wife, Britney. Brit and I were once at odds, but we’ve since made peace with one another. Britney and Noah still share custody of their golden retriever, Toby. He’s such a sweet ball of fluff I couldn’t blame either of them for not letting go.
“Wait a minute.” I squint over at the two of them. “Those women from Swift Cycle wouldn’t happen to be seated right over there, would they?” I point over to Cormack and Cressida, and Cormack gives a little wave. Figures. Cormack is chumming up to Flo’s besties in hopes to get an edge on the case. And she just might.
“That’s them,” Lorena says, piling on another waffle. “Boy, these are delish.”
Flo nods. “She’s not wrong. Hey!” She looks my way. “Why don’t you see about whipping these up for my wake?”
Lorena cocks her head. “You know, I just got the strangest inclination. Why don’t we hire you to bring the desserts for Flo’s big day? I bet Flo would just love to have your sweets at her wake.” She sheds an easy smile. “If anyone knew that girl inside out, it’s me.”
Flo honks out a laugh. “When she’s right, she’s right.”
Donata nods. “The last thing Flo shoved into that lying mouth of hers was one of your waffles. Come on, let’s get a seat.” She threads her arm through Lorena’s, and the two of them head off for blonde waters.
Flo’s mouth hangs open. “What the heck was that little quip about?”
“I don’t know,” I hiss. “Are you a liar?” I’m starting to feel a little duped by the woman myself.
“No,” she bites the air between us. “You better watch how you speak to me, Lottie Lemon. I’m still the one in control. The only thing you’re here to do is solve my murder. Now get up there and stick to what you know—men.” She shrugs. “I kind of admire your knowledge in that arena myself.”
I take a seat up front, and no sooner do I introduce myself than I give a brief accounting of my relationship with both Noah and Everett.
A woman with a bright yellow shawl shakes her head at me. “And so you don’t know who the baby’s father is?”
“Well, not yet,” I start “But I will soon, though. There are only a few months left before I meet my little sugar cookie.”
“This isn’t going to end well,” says another.
“One of them will have their heart ripped out of their rear,” says a third.
Now there’s a visual.
“Aren’t you afraid of the influence you’re having on your daughter?” someone shouts from the back, and Cressida giggles wildly at that one.
Cressida might be Evie’s biological mother, but she hasn’t done much more than add the girl onto a credit card.
“My daughter is just fine,” I tell her.
Cressida waves a slender arm in the air. “I hear little Everly has landed two men herself.”
Evie hates to be called Everly, most likely because it’s the only moniker that leaves Cressida’s lips. It’s a beautiful name, though.
“Is this true?” someone harps from my left, and I find Suze Fox staring me down, bug-eyed with disbelief.
“Yes,” I tell her. “It’s true. This is nothing serious. She’s only sixteen.”
Carlotta raises a hand, and I cringe. “That’s how old I was when I had you, Lot.”
Chrissy Nash shoots her the stink eye, as she should. She was the wife at the other end of that diabolical love triangle.
“Evie isn’t having a baby at sixteen,” I say.
“So she’ll be seventeen when she delivers?” a voice shouts from my right.
“No, no, that’s not what I meant!”
Soon, there are whispers of a pregnant teenager, and just hearing the rumors swirling stirs up a righteous anger in me. I stand with a start, inadvertently knocking back my chair in the process.
“My daughter is not knocked up! I’m the one with child in this equation. And no, I do not recommend having a love triangle.” I consider this for a moment. “Unless, of course, there’s Noah and Everett at stake—then what the hell, have at it.”
The room explodes in a fit of conversations all at once, and my mother runs up.
“Oh, Lottie, that was wonderful!” She gives my cheek a pinch as if I were seven. “The women at the table behind me asked if I had a picture of Noah and Everett to share with them for inspiration, and Suze came through for me. She has that Christmas card you sent out with Noah on one side of you and Everett on the other, both kissing you at the very same time and you holding your belly with a big question mark drawn over it—wondering who the father could be.”
“In my defense, I never sent those out. Lainey and Meg got ahold of them and evidently sent one to Suze.”
Lainey strides up with a sleeping Josie resting in a carrier strapped to her chest.