My phone bleats in my pocket, and I’m forever thankful to whoever it is. Anything is better than the conversation at hand. I’d much rather leave my freaky love life with Everett out of the bakery.
It’s a group text from Evie to Noah, Everett, and me.
Get home fast! Dash and I were walking Toby and he ran to Uncle Noah’s backyard and dug up a weird bag. Dash and I opened it and found a BODY! This is like the coolest day ever. Way to go, Uncle Noah. You really know how to make me feel better. Don’t worry, Mom. I’m pretty sure this is connected to you somehow, too. Most of the dead bodies in this town are. Oh, and don’t panic. Dash and I have already called 911. I can hear the fire department screaming its way down the street. Gotta run!
It turns out, Toby is a digger after all.
And he’s just dug up some serious trouble.
Chapter 18
“Can you believe they found my body in time for the big day? That gold leaf casket was perfection and that red beaded gown was to die for. Get it? To die for!” Flo lets out a laugh reminiscent of a trilling dolphin. “I knew you’d come through for me, Lottie Lemon. If you hadn’t hidden my body, my Aunt Connie and Aunt Cat would have ruined my life.”
My lips cinch shut, lest I remind the deceased she is, in fact, deceased.
Florenza Canelli shimmers as an entire galaxy of stars surround her in every shade of pink. It’s the day of her funeral, the day she’s finally being laid to rest, and a part of me is hoping this case will be laid to rest, too.
“I’m glad you were happy with the way things worked out. The funeral was very touching. Not a dry eye in the house.”
I take a look around the large private room in the back of the steakhouse where the wake is taking place, and it’s wall-to-wall people. There’s a buffet of every savory food you can imagine—ham and every cut of steak you can desire.
The dessert table is filled with sweet treats from both Sofia’s Sweet Shop and my bakery. Most of Sophia’s offerings are already gone, and the only thing running short on my end are my waffles. I’m not insulted. I’ve been noshing on Sofia’s sweet treats, too. And she’s really inspired me to step up my baking game.
Flo gasps as she points to the corner of the room. “Look at that! Rocky and Nicky are having a chat and it almost looks civil.”
“That’s funny. They weren’t so civil the other day.”
Noah mentioned they were both at the bloodbath that killed thirteen people. All four of Canelli’s injured men ended up biting the big one, and seven of the ten that were injured from the Lazzari family have passed away as well. The boys from New Jersey only lost two. Noah says this turf war could last generations.
Flo flicks her wrist at me. “It was bound to happen. Just wait until my Ruthless Witches get involved. Lorena and Donata are going to straighten those boys out.”
“So you’re saying this is a good time to be in the casket business?”
She rolls her eyes. “I’m saying the Ruthless Witches is about building peace between families. We girls are lovers, not fighters. That is, unless someone gets too close to our men. In that case, that’s when we get ruthless. I’d better go see what they’re saying before I miss all the good stuff.”
The only thing they get ruthless over is protecting their men? I suppose it’s a far nobler cause than turf.
Noah and Everett step over, each with a drink in their hands, their faces pensive as they continue to survey the room. They’ve both donned dark suits, dark ties, and dark brooding expressions.
Noah’s arm is still in a sling, but that didn’t stop him from heading back to work the day after the incident. The other day when Flo’s body was found in Noah’s backyard, our neighborhood turned into a media circus. All sorts of theories are flying regarding how that body ended up in the chief investigator’s backyard, and thankfully the theory that Noah did the deed seems to be the one people are laughing off.
The media seems to lean on the side of a setup by one of the feuding crime families. The Ashford County Sheriff’s Department is exploring all possibilities and has beefed up security in our neighborhood to the point it feels as if we’re under house arrest.
“I think we should go,” Everett says. “We’re standing in a room full of people who just engaged in a full-fledged slaughter.”
Noah nods. “And I have no doubt just about everyone here is heavily armed. Lottie, do you have Ethel?”
“I’ve got her,” Everett says, giving his back a quick pat.
I raise a finger. “In my defense, I tried to put her on that holster for my thigh, but let’s face it, I can’t even see my thigh anymore.”
Everett presses out a quick smile just for me—most likely because he’s the only one who’s seen my body from the waist down in all its glory these past few weeks, and judging by the devilish gleam in his eye, he approves.
“Don’t worry, Lemon. I’ll stay close.” He lands a kiss to my cheek. “You look beautiful today.”
“I look like I’m hiding the entire circus under this dress,” I say, looking down at the denim number with tiny rosettes sewn along the neckline. I saw Lainey wear this while she was expecting, and I remember thinking it looked adorable on her. And yet I’m not feeling so adorable in this frou-frou frock. “And my belly has exploded in the last few weeks. Just when I didn’t think it was possible to get any bigger, I get bigger. My innie has been an outie for so long, I wonder what will be left of it after I have the baby.”
Noah chuckles. “You look amazing. I always want to remember you like this. You’re glowing. Not to mention you’re housing a very special being in your body—most likely one that belongs to me, too.” Something steals his attention as he cranes his neck past me. “Ivy just stepped into the room. I’d better see what this is about.”
He takes off, and Everett wraps his arms around me. “I realize the guy almost died the other day, but would you think less of me if I told you how annoying I find him? Sugar Cookie is mine either way.”
I bite down on a smile. There is nothing sexier than hearing a strong, tough man like Everett refer to his unborn child as Sugar Cookie.
“You’re right.” I hike up on my tiptoes and press a kiss to his pillowy lips. “This baby is yours no matter what. And so am I.”
His lids hood as he gives me a kiss in return. “Best news I’ve heard all day.”
A brisk wind blows our way as Evie pops up with her blonde bestie, Dash.
“Mom, Dad, thanks for letting us tag along.” Evie looks like a twenty-year-old in her little black dress, her long dark hair running down her back in perfect coils, and her face done up like a supermodel. Dash is looking like her twin in every way with the exception of her hair color. “And thanks for letting me bring my best friend,” Evie says as she pulls the girl in.
Dash nods as she looks up at Evie who towers over her by a head. “We’ve straightened everything out now. I made it clear that I didn’t expect that kiss from Kyle.” A squeamish look crosses her face. “But once it got going, I didn’t seem to mind it so much, and that’s what Evie saw.”