“You want me to bring it to you?”
She shakes her head. “Burn it.”
“Burn it?” I repeat.
She nods. “Yes. It’s in my nightstand.” She grabs my hands and squeezes them. “One more thing. Don’t read it.”
“Okay …”
“Promise me you won’t read it and will destroy it. Immediately.”
I nod slowly, wondering why in the fuck she wants me to burn a journal. What could possibly be in there that she doesn’t want us to see? Him especially. “I promise.”
Present
“You promised me.” She growls.
“I didn’t get the chance.” I lie.
She doesn’t believe it. “How in the hell did you not get the chance? It’s been five months.”
I don’t answer.
“Did you read it?” she demands.
“No.” Another lie. Of course, I did. And I haven’t looked at her the same since. I always knew Cole was a fucked-up kid, and her journal just proved I wasn’t wrong. And honestly, she’s not far off from him. That’s probably why they are so good together.
“Demi?” she snaps. “Did you read it?”
“Yes.” She answers without hesitation, but I have a feeling that Demi already divulged that information.
The more important question is how the fuck did she find it? What was Austin doing in my room? I had it hidden in a box. I knew I should have left it in Collins.
“You know what, Becky? I thought we were friends, but I guess I was wrong.” She shoulders past me.
I’m already in a pretty shitty mood. Your sister fucking the man you love in your own bed and leaving your sheets stained with her blood and her words written in black Sharpie will make you irrational. That’s why I’m not proud of the next thing that comes out of my mouth. “Cole read it too.” That fucker outed me that I was the one driving the car. Why the fuck should I keep his secrets?
I turn to face her, giving my sister my back.
Austin stands at the top of the stairs and spins around to glare at me. “What?” she snaps.
“Back at your father’s house. I left him alone in your room to get some trash bags. I was gonna be a nice friend and pack up some of your belongings, and when I returned, he was sitting on your bed reading it.” I was gonna have to grab it without Cole questioning me. I figured if I threw some shit in a trash bag, he wouldn’t notice me trying to sneak a journal out.
“Why didn’t you tell me this?” she grinds out.
I cross my arms over my chest. “I think the real question is why hasn’t he told you?”
“Don’t turn this around on him, Becky. I asked you to do one thing for me, and you couldn’t even do it.” She looks down at the journal and then back at me. “I will never forgive you for this.”
The words hurt more than knowing my sister fucked Deke. I can win Deke over. I cheated on him; he paid me back. He got to have a little fun, and now we can move on. But her? Austin was all I had left. “Why is it you forgave him?” I glare down at her journal. “Huh? He can hurt you, fucking blackmail you, and you forgive him so goddamn easily?”
“He never lied to me!” she yells. “He never pretended to be someone he’s not.”
I snort at that sorry excuse for an answer. “Be honest, Austin, it’s just us. It’s because of the money. You let him treat you like shit because he has money?” Her nostrils flare. “You saw a way out and took it. I get it …”
“I couldn’t care less about his fucking money!” she shouts.
I believe her. I do, but I can’t stop. I have to hurt her. She hurt me. She is abandoning me. “So, it’s the fact that he’s the first guy to ever show you any kind of love then? Your mother hated you ’cause her boyfriend wanted to fuck you. Your father didn’t want you, and then Cole Reynolds comes along.” I give her a smile. Our friendship is over, so I might as well go out with a bang. “The devil as you called him in your journal. Girls like you disgust me. A man shows a broken girl a little bit of attention, and you fall in love with them. He can never love you.” I lie. The truth is, he’s beyond in love with her. That man has killed for her. He’d do anything for her, and I’m jealous of that. I want that with Deke. “He’ll only use you. You’ll become a frumpy housewife, and he’ll get bored of you …”
She slaps me across the face, knocking me into the railing of the balcony. The force was so hard it takes my breath away. My hand comes up to touch my tender cheek when she steps into me, pressing my back into the railing. “You bitch …”
“I’d rather be the girl who fell in love with the devil, than the whore who jumps from man to man because she can’t stay faithful.” She growls in my face. “I don’t care if Deke comes to me tonight and tells me that he is taking your sorry ass back and plans on marrying you tomorrow. You are never welcome in my house again.”
My teeth grind at her words and the tears sting my eyes. But I manage to say, “The truth hurts.”
I think she’s gonna slap me again, but instead, she laughs in my face. “The truth? The truth is that I’ve always been a fighter. And I would have fought for you, no matter what, but you lied to me and you betrayed me. So you no longer have my loyalty.” Then she turns, and storms down the stairs and exits the house, slamming the door behind her. The sound echoes up the stairs, and it makes me flinch. My chest aches, and my stomach sinks at the loss of my only best friend.
“Sucks, doesn’t it? Losing everyone who you thought cared about you?”
I turn to look at my sister leaning up against the doorway to her bedroom. She has a smile on her face and not a care in the world. My eyes go straight to the hickeys on her neck. Deke never gave me any because I wouldn’t let him. I couldn’t chance David seeing them. I told him not to give them to me so many times that even after we were out in the open together, he still didn’t leave any.
I fist my hands and push away from the railing. “You did this …”
“No, you did.” The smile drops off her face. “You fucked everyone over. And now you’re completely alone.” Then she steps back and slams her bedroom door. I hear it lock, and I let out a scream of frustration ’cause I know she’s telling the truth. I just lost Austin and any chance I have of getting Deke back. And it all started with fucking Demi!
She’ll pay. No matter what I have to do or who I have to fuck, I’ll get my revenge. I always do.
I enter my room, slam my door, and run over to my desk. Yanking open the drawer, I pull out a pair of scissors and crawl onto my bed. I scream as I slice the sharp edges through her hurtful words. Through her innocence. I fucking stab it over and over, imagining it’s her face.
She will pay! Even if I have to have someone else do it for me.
DEKE
“So what are you gonna do?” Cole asks as we sit at the kitchen table.
Demi: That you took my virginity. In her bed.
I read over the text Demi sent me earlier this morning for the hundredth time. The more time that has gone by, the more pissed I’ve gotten. “I’m not sure,” I say honestly. I wasn’t able to concentrate in my classes today or during swim practice. My mind was completely consumed with everything Demi. And it’s literally gotten me nowhere. I’m like a dog chasing my own tail.