“But I saw you. You were pissed off before we ever got there. You were looking for a fight.”
“Shut up, Austin.”
“No, I wanna know why—”
“Because I’m not gonna let some punk-ass bitch speak to you like that,” he shouts, interrupting me once again.
“Like you speak to me any better?” I snap. “I may not be a dare, but I am just a fucking game.”
“What you are doesn’t matter,” he says simply.
I hear Becky gasp. “Cole …”
Her words are cut off, and I take a quick look to see Deke has his hand over her mouth and his lips by her ear. She still straddles him, but they’re both clothed. He pulls his hands away, and her narrowed eyes go to Cole.
I look back at him as well. “If I don’t fucking matter, then why didn’t you just let him fuck me?”
He pulls the car over to the side of the road and slams on the brakes. My hand goes to the dash while my seat belt locks up.
He turns to face me. Those clouds rolling in his blue eyes. “If that’s what you want, then go ahead.” He shrugs carelessly. “Walk back to him and kiss his wounds, Austin. ’Cause I fucked him up good.” Then he gets out, slamming the door behind him.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
COLE
I WALK AWAY from the SUV, not really knowing what I’m doing but needing a moment. Needing a fucking minute to think without her voice in my head. Her words choke me. She’s still there. Ever since Monday night when I pinned her down in the cemetery and told her to fight me. Her words did more damage than her body could have ever done to me.
And what she told me about her mom and her boyfriend? Those words play over and over. Her words make me angry. Remembering those tears makes me hard.
It’s no secret I love a fight. But to fight over a girl? Never happened before except when we threw her that party at my house. I fought Bryan because he put his hands on her. And then he went and dared his friend to fuck her.
I beat his ass. Just as Deke beat Christopher’s. But everyone knows why Deke did what he did. He’s falling for Becky. It’s getting serious. He is completely fucking obsessed with her. I’m just fucking Austin because I can. I’m just using her because it’s convenient and pisses her father off. I’m going to make that motherfucker pay in every way I can think of. And Austin ups the ante. Mine to control. Mine to fuck. And mine to use.
You say that, but she is in your head.
I’m starting to care. Even I can’t lie to myself about that. Because if I didn’t, I would have already called Bruce and told him to fuck our deal. But I can’t send her back. I won’t send her back. She’s mine. She belongs here with me.
I hear the door open to the Range Rover behind me, but I ignore it. The road starts to curve, and as I round it, I come to a stop once I realize where I’m at.
Skid marks cut through the double yellow lines and three, white wooden crosses stand over in the ditch. Each name written vertically—Maddox, Landen, and Eli.
And just like that, I’m pulled back to that night six months ago.
“Please … Cole. Aimee needs you …”
“She has you,” I say, falling beside him in the ditch once again. They’re dead. Maddox still lies in the street, and I found Landen over behind the car. They’re both dead! I can’t lose him too.
His hands grip my bloody shirt. “You have to help her. Save her.” Tears roll down his face, and I can’t hold mine back.
There’s a knot in my throat, and I nod my head quickly.
“Promise … me.”
“I promise.”
I stare at the three crosses, my breath caught in my throat. And my chest is tight. I imagine mine being next to his. Where it deserves to be. I couldn’t save him. I couldn’t save Aimee. And I sure as hell couldn’t save my mother.
I’m fucking useless!
“Cole?”
I close my eyes when I hear her call my name.
Fuck! I fist my cracked knuckles. She’s another reminder that I fuck up everything I touch. I once told her that I love to destroy pretty, innocent things. And that was the truth. To me, things are more beautiful broken. Anyone can love something that is pure and whole—perfect. But destroy something, then stand back and see how many people give it the time of day. Or how many will take the time to help it heal. No one will. I know from experience. I’ve seen it. I’ve lived it. I want to do that to her. I don’t want anyone to want her when I’m finished with her. I want to ruin Austin Lowes. More than she already is.
“What are you …?” Her voice trails off, and I feel her come to stand next to me. Her arm brushing mine.
I don’t open my eyes. I don’t dare look at her.
“Let’s go,” I manage to grind out and spin around, once again keeping my back to her. I make my way to the SUV and climb in. I look in the back seat and see Deke sitting up against the window with Becky’s head in his lap. She’s passed out asleep. His eyes go from mine to the windshield, and he swallows. He knows where we are. He helped me place those crosses there. The door opens, and Austin gets in without saying a word. I put the SUV in drive and pull back onto the road.
AUSTIN
If you had asked me three weeks ago what I thought of Cole Reynolds, I would have told you that I thought he was the devil himself! I hated him with every part of me.
If you asked me now, I would say that from what I have seen, he was dealt a shitty hand. His mother died. He raises his little sister. And he lost three best friends from a mistake he made.
I could feel his sadness when I stood beside him and stared at the three crosses. It took me a second for my drunk eyes to understand what I was looking at, but when it hit me, it took my breath away. He stood there and stared at the road like it was happening all over again. I felt his pain, and it was crippling.
I wanted to ask him about it. To know what happened. What he saw. Is that what made him so angry with the world? Did he try to save them and just not succeed? Becky said that the EMT found Cole sitting in the ditch with Eli in his arms. What were their last words? Did they get any? Did he die on impact? How did the other three die but Cole not? I’m sure that’s a question he asks himself all the time. I know I would.
Cole gets my attention as he pulls up to a gated community. He presses a device on the visor, and the gate opens. He pulls in and passes house after house that looks bigger than my father’s mansion. They sit back off the two-lane road, hidden behind rows of trees. He slows down and pulls into a driveway.
“Just stop here,” Deke says from the back seat.
Cole doesn’t question him. He brings the SUV to a stop, and Deke speaks. “Just bring me the car tomorrow.”
I turn around to watch him pull a sleeping Becky in his arms, and then he gets out and starts to walk down the long driveway with her in his arms.
Cole places his hand on my seat and looks back over his shoulder, ignoring the backup camera as he backs out. And then takes off down the street.
I bury my face in my hands and cover up a yawn. I’m tired. I’m drunk, and I’m so pissed at myself because a part of me feels like I shouldn’t be mad at Cole. That was the second time he’s taken up for me and beat someone’s ass when they disrespected me. But another part of me wants to say It’s your fucking fault. You put me in those positions.