I had reverted to my old self. How I was before I ran into her in that cemetery. Deke was right—she had changed me—but I found my way back to the real Cole.
The heartless bastard who feeds off violence. I choked her. I ripped hair out. I fucking marked her with my hands and my mouth. She cried big, beautiful tears as she stared up at me while my hand was wrapped around her throat. And her body shook from the orgasms I gave her. She never broke like I wanted her to. She didn’t beg when I held her wrists above her head. Or when I flipped her over and buried her face into the bed. At one point, I had her bent over the railing with my hand fisting her hair. She let me use her however I wanted.
And I fucking loved that she was so strong. That she can take my demons.
I get out of bed and pull on my jeans before walking into the bathroom. I splash cold water on my face. Looking up at myself in the mirror, I watch as the water runs down my face and splashes on the countertop. Gripping the edge, I bow my head. I have a fucking migraine, but I know that’s from the alcohol I’ve consumed over the past twenty-four hours.
I hear the door open to the clubhouse downstairs, and I grind my teeth. I’m in no mood to put up with bullshit. All I want to do is crawl back into bed with Austin and wake her up with my hand around her throat again.
“No, Deke.” I hear Becky’s voice.
I walk out of the bathroom and go to the stairs.
Becky stands downstairs, her hands out wide. “What the hell happened?” she demands.
He says nothing even though he knows. He was here along with the rest of the guys to witness my destruction last night.
I start to walk down to them. “Why are you here?” I demand.
Becky spins around to face me, and her eyes narrow on me as I come to the bottom step.
Deke sighs. “Sorry, man. She wanted …”
“I’ve been calling Austin. Where the hell is she?”
I say nothing. Her eyes take in my lack of shirt and look over the scratches that Austin gave me. She broke skin when she clawed at my chest while I choked her. It was the best sex I’ve ever had.
“If you hurt her—”
“She’s asleep,” I say, interrupting her.
She runs over to the stairs and shoves me out of the way before she charges up to the loft.
“I’m sorry, Cole,” Deke says softly. “She was worried that …” He trails off.
“That what?” I snap.
He swallows and looks around the mess that I have made of the clubhouse. “That you killed her.”
I snort. Why would I kill her? She’s exactly what I’ve needed all along—something to use.
“You need to tell her,” he says.
I shake my head. “The less she knows, the better.”
“You’re wrong, man. She needs to know what is going on.”
“No.”
“This involves her,” he snaps. “Do you want her to get hurt?”
“I’m her biggest threat.” We both know that’s a lie. Jerrold could be looking for her right now, but I don’t want to admit that. That would mean I’m the one who put her in harm’s way by bringing her into this fucking mess.
He laughs darkly. “Are we back to that now?” My eyes narrow on him. “Jesus, Cole. You’re not the same guy who found her in the cemetery.”
“Yes, I am.” I never went away. She just smothered him. She just made me think I was a better person. I was wrong.
He steps into me. “Her life is in jeopardy. If you don’t step up and do something, then I will.”
“What does that mean?” I snap.
“It means that her life is no longer in your hands,” he growls. “I promised the woman I love twenty minutes ago while she was crying in my arms because her best friend wouldn’t answer her phone that I would do whatever I needed to make sure Austin is okay.”
“That wasn’t your call to make,” I snap.
“I’m making it my call because you refuse to tell the poor girl the fucking truth.”
“What happened to her being whatever I tell you she is?” I demand.
“Things have changed,” he says softly.
“No. You have changed,” I growl, and he fists his hands down by his sides. “Becky has made you fucking soft.”
“Cole?”
I spin around to see Austin standing at the bottom of the stairs. Her hair a knotted mess around her face. Her green eyes heavy, she has mascara lines down her cheeks from when she cried while I fucked her. She wears one of my t-shirts that falls off her shoulder and that’s it. Thankfully, it’s long enough to cover her pussy. She has bruises around her neck and on her arms. And teeth marks on her inner thighs. There’s more, but the shirt hides them.
“Jesus,” Deke mutters, looking over her.
“What’s going on?” she asks, ignoring him.
“Nothing,” I answer.
“Cole,” Deke growls my name in warning.
“Shut up, Deke,” I snap.
“Cole, tell me what is going on,” Austin demands.
“It doesn’t concern you.”
“Stop lying, Cole,” Deke says.
“No …”
“What is going on?” Austin shouts.
The room falls silent, and I rub my temples. That migraine getting to the point my vision is blurry.
“We went through the emails,” Deke finally says. “The ones on the hard drive.”
My teeth clench, and I fist my hands. I could punch him, but that would take too much energy. And I already feel too weak from the drinking binge and rough sex. If I hit him, he’d hit me back, and he’d probably knock my ass out.
“And?” she asks.
“And we found emails that indicated the car wreck was not an accident.”
“What do you mean?”
“The emails proved that Jeff was paid to tamper with the brake lines that night …” He stops, and I fall onto the couch.
Placing my elbows on my knees, I lean forward and cup my head. My heart races at hearing his words.
“I don’t understand,” she says softly.
“They prove that he had been talking to your dad. They had a set amount and a plan.” He pauses, and I close my eyes. “Bennett checked the funds and confirmed that your father paid Jeff fifteen thousand dollars to ensure that the brakes would fail on Cole’s car the night Eli, Maddox, and Landen died.”
My muscles tense at his words, and my chest tightens. Bruce fucking tried to kill me, and he succeeded in killing my friends. He paid the scumbag Jeff to do it. When I was about to kill that fucker, he kept bringing up the fact that I killed my friends, but it had been him all along.
“I don’t …” She trails off. “Why would my dad want to hurt Cole?”
I look up at her but remain silent. She stands there next to Becky who silently cries because Deke has already filled her in. Austin has no fucking clue, and I wish he would just shut up. I don’t want her to know. Not this. Not now.
“We don’t know for sure, but we have a guess.” Deke sighs.
“Which is?” she asks.
“Lilly,” Deke answers.
Her frowns deepens, and my heart pounds at the mention of my little sister.