“Maybe I’ll just…”
I swipe down, intrigued that my best friend is on a dating app and hasn’t once mentioned it.
“Don’t you dare, Cooper Bennett!”
Too late.
I’ve dared.
And I immediately fucking regret it.
MrSexMachine69: Are you sweet, Caroline? Because I can make you ba-ba-ba all night long.
And then there’s a dick.
On my best friend’s phone screen.
It’s a small one, too. And fucking gross. Like “the guy should spend a little more time in the shower scrubbing it” gross.
My lips curl up in revulsion. “Is this the type of shit dudes are sending you on here?”
“What?” She shoves out from her warm haven and rises to her full five-seven height, then snatches her phone from my hand. “What’d he—oh hell. Not this guy again.”
“Again?”
She groans. “Yes. He keeps making different profiles and I keep falling for it like an idiot, but I’d recognize that penis anywhere.” She shoves the screen in my face. “See that mole on his stomach?”
I smack the phone away, glaring at her. “Can you not shove dick pics in my face?”
She shrugs, glancing back down. “You’re lucky. At least he plucked the mole this time. Usually, you can see a few long black hairs sticking out of it.”
“You are way too nonchalant about this.”
“It’s kind of par for the course.” Another shrug. “Dating is weird nowadays.”
“Just because we’ve moved to a more technology-based way of meeting people doesn’t mean you should be subjected to unwanted pictures of rotten peckers.”
“It does look rotten, doesn’t it?” She shudders.
“Why do you keep falling for this crap?”
Her eyes narrow to slits as she looks up at me. “First, lose the judgment-filled tone.”
“Lose the dick pic in my line of sight.”
She shoves it in my face again, and this time I’m quick, plucking her phone from her hand and pocketing it.
“Cooper!”
“You can get it back when we’re done with this conversation,” I say, crossing my arms over my chest, staring down at her. “You’re not answering my question. How the fuck do you keep falling for the same dude’s shit?”
“What do you mean? It’s all online.”
“Yes, but—”
“It’s not hard to create a new profile. It’s not like the app gods keep good track of that stuff. There are so many people on here pretending to be celebrities. I once got matched with Tom Holland. It, unfortunately, was not him.”
“Why do you say that like you talked to this catfishing dude for a while to determine it wasn’t in fact Tom Holland?”
“Hey, I’ve read my fair share of romance novels—falling in love via a dating app or by accitext is a thing.”
“Accitext?”
“You know, you text the wrong person on accident and then you fall in love. Accitext.” She shrugs. “It happens.”
“Yeah, in fiction.”
“Fiction sounds really good right about now. It’s a heck of a lot better than standing around listening to you judge me.”
“I’m not judging you. I’m worried about you and the random dicks—actual random dicks—on this dating app you’re on.”
She rolls her eyes. “Please. Don’t start your whole big brother bull hickey again. That’s so high school.”
I don’t bother denying it, but I wouldn’t call fending off numerous tools a big brother move, just a common sense one.
I saved Caroline from many shitty dates and handsy assholes. It’s not that I completely kept her from dating—I’m not her parents, just a concerned friend—but I did do plenty of vetting and never let her forget it.
“You know, I’m surprised you aren’t on the app with you being perpetually single and all. I’m sure you’d match with someone in no time considering…” She gestures toward me. “Well, you know.”
I do know.
And that’s not me being a cocky douche. It’s the truth, and my physique is one I work damn hard for.
I can thank my middle school years for my love of hitting the gym, being bullied about being a tiny little shit when all my friends had already hit puberty and were shooting up like trees. I begged my uncle to allow me to use his workout bench in his garage for the whole summer between eighth and ninth grade. A month before high school started, I finally hit a growth spurt. It seemed like I sprouted four inches overnight…and then didn’t stop until I hit six foot five and towered over everyone else.
I lift a brow. “Elaborate for me.”
She huffs. “You know exactly what I mean. All buff and hot and whatnot.”
That same brow inches higher.
Hot? That’s a new one from her.
Over the years, she’s called me cute or handsome, even dropped beautiful a few times, whatever the fuck that means for a dude. But hot?
That word has never left her lips regarding me.
I…think I like it.
I lift my lips into a smirk. “You think I’m hot, Caroline?”
Another glare. “You’re something…like annoying, for one thing. You’re totally ruining my vampire-fest right now, and you’re a tool for taking my phone, which I’d like back now.”
She holds her palm out again, and when I don’t hand over her cell, she lunges for me.
I sidestep her easily.
She tosses her head back with a groan, her hands falling to her hips, where I can see her fingers digging into her flesh with frustration. I’m pushing all her buttons tonight, but I don’t care. I want to know what she’s doing on a dating app. The Caroline I’ve known for years has always lamented the lack of finding a real connection with someone. That’s not something you usually get on some dating app, especially one like this.
“Come on, Coop.”
“Don’t you come on me. Stop trying to change the subject. What the hell are you doing on Dud or Stud? This app is like a breeding ground for douchebags.”
“Um, trying to find a stud, obviously.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m going to start dating.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s what people do.”
“Why?”
She grits her bright white teeth. “Cooper…”
I raise my hands. “Just saying it’s a little out of left field for you. You’ve been content living that…what’s that saying you’re always spouting off? ‘Free and single, just don’t make me mingle’?”
“Yeah, well, things change.”
Sure. But not this. This hasn’t ever changed.
She’s been in about as many relationships as I have, which isn’t saying much. She’s always been indifferent to dating. Why is she going after it so hard now?
There’s something she’s not saying.
“Care…”
When she sees I’m not going to let her get away with a half-assed answer, she throws her hands in the air, frustrated.
“Because I’m lonely!”