“C’mon,” said Jamie, pulling my elbow. A few moments of walking led us toward a staircase connected to the building behind the club.
“Where are we going?” I mumbled as I started to follow him up the stairs.
“I’m taking you to the group.”
I obediently followed behind my coworker, too exhausted and numbed by the alcohol to argue. My walking was slow and sloppy, and I was barely making it one step at a time. Alcohol and heels weren’t a good mix to walk with. We were in a building that looked to be a large studio apartment. I followed Jamie through the dark, knowing it was stupid to follow a near stranger into an unknown area while being mentally impaired. My senses were dulled not only from the alcohol but also from Darren’s rejection. Reality was setting into my mindset and making it hard to function. Negative thoughts haunted me. Darren probably realized he didn’t want to go out with his chubby coworker at the very last minute, but he didn’t want to hurt my feelings, therefore he was ghosting me before things got more complicated.
Now I was filled with the hollow feeling that I wasn’t good enough for him. That feeling simply magnified and made me feel that I was not good enough for anyone.
I never had good luck with boyfriends or crushes. This was just one more guy to add to the overflowing list of romantic failures. Adding my weird moment of thinking I was going to kiss Matt made things worse.
I begrudgingly followed Jamie, unknowing and slightly uncaring for where we were going. It wasn’t until I heard a low growl from somewhere in the dark that I paused my steps. Did I hear that or had I imagined it? I started dragging behind in my walk, no longer certain following Jamie was a good idea. I slowly came to a stop, a dreaded feeling filling me suddenly. Tiny hairs slid up on the back of my neck while goosebumps tickled the flesh of my arms. Impulse told me to run. Fear rooted me to the spot.
“Are you coming, dude?” asked Jamie over his shoulder. He was perhaps more intoxicated than me; he hadn’t heard the growl.
I hesitated walking but only for a moment. A dim light slowly came into view. I followed behind Jamie to find most of our coworkers were on the rooftop overlooking the city. A fire pit was lit, the only light on the darkened roof. I stayed hidden in the shadows as Jamie went forward to take a seat on a nearby fold-up chair. He slapped hands with someone as he went to sit. There were a few people already out there, all coworkers from the set-up department. I saw the faces of Cale and Bobby, Nico and Chaz. Terrence stood nearby quietly sipping his beer. A strong breeze of wind came from nowhere, ruffling my hair and chilling my skin.
The group of young men instantly stopped talking once the breeze blew through. They looked around in wonder, but it was Cale who found me in the dark. “Why is she here?” he hissed.
I couldn’t tell if it was my own nerves playing tricks on me or whether it was reality that suddenly all eyes were upon me. “She made it one whole month,” said Jamie with another stupid grin. “She’s one of us now.”
Bobby nodded his head in a strange agreement. Terrence held up his beer bottle toward my direction as a show of polite acknowledgment. Nico grinned at me while Chaz looked indifferent. Jamie wasn’t wrong. It had officially been one full month since I had first transferred. The entire month had been a complete blur of ignoring my coworkers while also trying to learn a job no one was training me in. It was only Cale who suddenly looked aggravated. “You fucking moron. She can’t be here!”
Jamie looked uncaring as he took another sip from his flask. “If someone runs with us for a whole month, they’re one of us. Wasn’t that the cardinal rule?”
“That rule is for guys—”
“That’s a rule that’s been overdue for updating,” defended Nico. He was usually very quiet and reserved. Never had I heard him speak so many words in front of me. The most we had ever conversed this last month was when he dropped his iPod and I picked it up for him. He mumbled a thank you and that was it. “She’s pretty cool for a girl. I say we give her a shot.” It was such a surprise for me to hear him speak. We never spoke to one another, and I often avoided looking at him because I didn’t want to be caught looking at the long, gnarly facial scar he had.
Cale suddenly looked wild-eyed and worried. “It doesn’t matter if she’s fucking cool. The rules have always been in place for a reason. We don’t have girls as a part of it!”
“He’s right; she’s not one of us,” Chaz said. He was the tallest and burliest of all the guys there; his sandy brown hair was a curly bush on top of his head. Anytime I had seen him, he had it pulled back with an excellent man bun. Even though Chaz was one of the youngest at eighteen, he was also one of the biggest in size in height and weight. His hands were ham-like fists atop of stocky arms.
If I were honest, I was barely listening to the young men around me. The vodka drinks had been enough to make me sincerely tired and ready to nap. I tried to take a step backward but staggered and nearly fell. The doorway caught my stumble.
“And you brought her drunk,” said Cale through gritted teeth. “Awesome. What if something happened to her up here?”
“You don’t like her anyway. Why do you care?” snorted Jamie. He took another sip from his own bottle. “She’s kinda cute.”
Chaz snorted and waved his hand as if to silently say Jamie’s comment was up in the air. I found I would have been offended, but I was so drunk the odds weren’t in my favor I would remember this conversation tomorrow.
“I say we vote,” said Bobby with a roll of his shoulders.
“There’s no females for a reason,” warned Cale crossly. “You already know what I say.”
“It’s a no from me as well,” said Chaz with a sigh. “We don’t know how she’d fit in.”
“Well, it’s a yes from me,” said Bobby.
Being one of the quietest, Nico looked uncertain before he gave a slight nod. “Keep her.”
“Hell, put her in. We could use some fresh meat.” Terrence grinned.
“I recruited her, so I say keep her,” said Jamie with a stupid smile.
“Look at that, four against two. We win,” said Bobby with his own triumphant grin toward me. “Welcome to the pack—”
“No,” growled a new, very familiar voice. I was leaning against the wall but looked to see Matt was suddenly in the doorway overlooking the group. He snarled a low string of profanities under his breath that caused two of the closest guys to flinch. “I leave you morons alone for ten minutes and you’re recruiting the new girl!” I watched him with weary eyes, admiring his strong posture as well as his cheek bones in the dim lighting. He was really a very attractive man…
I staggered to remain standing while ignoring my inappropriate thoughts regarding my sister’s boyfriend. “Sorry, Matt,” said Jamie, even though he didn’t look or sound the least bit apologetic. “It’s four against three. Evie’s in.”
I thought Evie was a stupid nickname, but I was too tired to argue. Exhaustion was winning over, and all I wanted to do was go to sleep.
“This isn’t a debate,” snarled Matt. “You can’t rope her in here when she has not the faintest idea of what’s going on—”