She reached to take carrots out of the crisper drawer in the fridge and moaned as her entire arm started to shake. The moan was from fright, anger, and frustration - all three mixed into panic. She’d have to tell him soon, mainly because she needed to go to the doctor. Maybe it was nerve damage, something from the attack, or some psychological problem. It might not be the one thing she dreaded the most - her mother’s illness.
As she glanced back at the window to make sure Matteo couldn’t see her, she felt the tremor become stronger, until she couldn’t even control the limb. Fuck.
“Fuck,” she screamed quietly. “Please, stop. Just… stop.”
Fear gripped her throat then, filled it with a lump that she couldn’t breathe past, then the world started to go fuzzy and she saw sparkles. She knew it was panic, that she was about to faint, so she moved back to the island to slide down to the floor. “Breathe, just breathe.”
That’s what the counselor told her during one of their sessions. Whenever you have a problem, whenever you feel overwhelmed, he’d said, “Just breathe, Marie. That’s all you have to do is breathe.” She clutched at the necklace that rested on her chest and focused on it. Matteo had said it was his promise to her, to always protect her. But he couldn’t protect her from the disease she was almost certain she was developing, nobody could.
Would he want her if she turned out like her mother? She doubted she’d ever be as bitter and twisted as her mother, but her body would twist, it would become something she couldn’t control. Would he want a wife like that? Would it be fair to burden him with that? He had enough troubles.
She took one more deep breath and looked down at her hand. The tremor had slowed down, calmed enough that she could flex her fingers. You can do this, Marie. That was the mantra she repeated in her mind. With a wince, she got up and went back to the fridge. Just breathe.
She pulled out the vegetables she’d need, found the herbs and spices, and started to cut up the vegetables. She went slowly, to make sure the very sharp knife was away from her fingers when she made each cut. She closed her eyes each time she made a cut and opened them once the blade hit the cutting board. Each new cut brought a sigh of relief.
The need to distract her mind became overwhelming, so she went to a small radio on the counter and turned it on. Rock music filled the air, some station that only played 80s rock, so she sang along with Stevie Nicks and Bob Segar as she prepared the onions and started to caramelize them.
Matteo came in to have a cup of coffee about the time she took the onions off and put them in a bowl to use later. “Hi, babe. How ya doing?”
“I’m fine, honey.” She pecked his cheek as he passed her and then put the rest of the vegetables in containers to put in the fridge. She’d peeled potatoes and sliced them, along with celery and carrots. Now all she needed was the meat. She’d sear it with some red wine and put that all together in the slow cooker when Anton came back.
With a sigh of relief, she poured a cup of coffee for herself and went to sit with Matteo at the table. “Want some lunch?”
“I’ll just have a sandwich in a little while.” He glanced at the clock and frowned. “Anton will be home soon.”
“Yeah. Why is that a bad thing?”
“Because I was watching you as you put all of that away, and I don’t know, all I could think about was pressing you up against the fridge and kissing you until you couldn’t stand up straight.”
“Oh?” Her eyebrows went up with amusement. “I was watching you earlier. I wondered if it was too cold to jump you in the snow. But there’s snow, of course it’s too cold.”
“Hmm. Maybe we should meet up after lunch, maybe in our bedroom. If we turn the television on he won’t hear a thing.”
“You might be right.” He could always make her smile and now was no exception. It was just that the smile was dirty, in that naughty kind of way, she could feel it, but couldn’t wipe it off of her face.
Her fingers reached out for his, and she leaned across the space between their chairs to meet his lips with hers. His silky tongue came out to tease her bottom lip, to ask her to open for far more. With a growl, he moved, lifted her from the chair to put her on the table. “Or I could just fuck you right here.”
“You could.” She was already pushing her pink pajama pants down. “You so could, Matteo.”
“Open,” he demanded as he bent to kiss her again.
With a kick of her feet, she pushed the pants away and opened her mouth at the same time. She was more than ready for him when he slid into her, both her mouth and the part of her that yearned for him the most. She gave a sigh of relief as she felt his entire length sink into her.
The groan he couldn’t hold back sent a shiver down her spine, but they didn’t have a lot of time. Anton would be back soon. They didn’t want to be caught. “Hurry, baby. Please, hurry.”
He slid his lips from hers, down her neck, to that spot just behind and beneath her ear that made her go boneless. The warm skin of his hand slid between them as he sought out the small spot that would send her into space. With a firm pressure, he circled her clit, until her head pushed at his, her lips open for his kiss.
“Tell me,” he demanded as he looked down at her. His hips slid into her at a slow pace, slow and steady as his finger worked at her with an unrelenting pace. “Say it, Marie.”
“Kiss me, Matteo.” She uttered the words smoothly, but she wasn’t sure she sounded in control. She had little self-control where he was concerned.
The sound of tires on snow made him tense up and he looked down at her. “Don’t stop. Come for me, Marie.”
“But…” he didn’t let her finish. He kissed her again, he circled faster, drove himself deeper into her walls, until she grunted as bliss shot through her lower organs and up into her brain. He came with her, quickly, but with a satisfied grunt. It was only moments before he’d straightened up, rearranged his clothes, and went to the kitchen door.
“Get your breath back. I’ll bring in the groceries after I help him unload that gate.” A subtle wink made her grin just before she collapsed on the table in shock.
It had happened so quickly, but it was oh so satisfying. She jerked up when she heard the front door open and giggled like a schoolgirl as she slid her pants back on. Nervous fingers smoothed her hair back into a neat bun while she walked back to the stove. With a deep breath that came out on a sigh, she found a pot to sear the beef in before she put it in the slow cooker.
She couldn’t stop the smile on her face, but she did notice a tremor in her legs as she walked around the kitchen. That was all Matteo though, it didn’t have anything to do with her problems. Not a thing at all.
10
“Matteo, how long are we going to stay out here? Not that I’m complaining, but I’d like to make a couple of appointments and I don’t know anyone out here.” She spoke to him in bed later that evening, some gameshow from England played on YouTube on the television, but she couldn’t concentrate on it.
Her arm had gone all spastic again when she showered earlier. She’d had to stay in the shower until the hot water had almost run out before it stopped. Now, she was trying to find a way to ask him without giving anything away.