It wasn’t the breakfast that mattered though, it was the feeling as each one let it sink in that it was all over that mattered. Laughs broke out spontaneously or sighs as each one came to the same conclusion. It was done. Whatever came next was done for fun.
Matteo was ready for a real vacation. As he looked at his wife, he decided that soon he’d tell her the one thing he’d held back. Those three little words that would make her never stop smiling. Soon.
They stayed in Mexico for one week, each day in a new place before they had to fly Marie back to New York. She’d fallen and her right leg had started to tremble. It had scared all of them so they arranged for someone to pick up the RV and flew directly back home. Matteo drove her to the hospital straight from the airport and her doctor met them there.
“You had a fall, you said?” the doctor asked as Marie began to list things that had been going on lately. They spoke for a while and the doctor sat on the side of her bed while he spoke to her.
Matteo watched from the chair at her bedside, waiting to hear what the doctor would say. “Right, I know where you’re heading with this and yes, I agree, we need to run some tests on you. As you’re so young, I’d like to do genetic testing, to see if there are any mutations there, with your permission? It will aid current studies going on. I’ll have some blood taken for other blood work too, and someone will be up soon to do a CT scan on your brain. That will show us if there are signs of the disease in your brain. Don’t worry, the worst part will be getting the IV.”
“Right. Thanks, doctor.” Marie smiled vaguely, her eyes worried. She looked over at Matteo, heartbreak in her eyes. They’d been having so much fun in Mexico: drinking, eating, exploring, it had all been fun, and then she fell, completely sober, and gave herself a nasty scalp laceration that had needed stitches. She’d just been standing there, talking with Anton, and had been about to turn to talk to Matteo when she just… fell over.
He could see the pain in her eyes, the heartbreak, and could all but see her thoughts. She’d have to leave him, have to run away, but he wouldn’t let her. Whatever happened, he was her husband. He would take care of her for the rest of his life.
“I’ll be back later. The nurse will come in soon and get that IV in, alright?”
Marie nodded and inhaled deeply. “Well, I think we know what the answer is going to be don’t we?”
“I have to admit, he sounds like he’s leaning that way too, Marie.” He was the one that sighed this time. “I’ll be here for you, okay? You don’t have to go through this alone.”
“I know.” Tears broke her voice and fell from her eyes and he was up at once, holding her in his arms as she sobbed on his chest.
He brushed hair away from her face and looked into her eyes. “I’ll comb the world to find something, anything you need, do you understand me? I don’t care if it takes all of our money, you won’t suffer like your mother, hear me?”
“I do, Matteo, I do.” She nodded her head against his chest and pulled away as the nurse came in. “Hi.”
“Hi there, sweetie. I’m going to put your IV in, alright? For now, we’re just going to run saline into you to make sure you’re hydrated, then we’ll take some blood. Then radiology will be up in an hour or so to take you down for your scans, that’s why I have to put in such a large IV. This is going to hurt a little, so be brave for me, okay? I’m sorry, but it has to be done.” The nurse was a red-haired woman with kind green eyes, probably in her 60s, so that reassured Marie, and Matteo too. She had the experience, at least.
Marie held her arm out like a trooper, and the nurse was right, the IV hurt, but Marie only gasped and bit down on her lip. It was a long night that turned into two days before the doctor finally had enough evidence to make a diagnosis. He’d come in periodically to check on Marie, but on that last day, he came in with a rather solemn look on his face.
That look said their entire world was about to change. Again. Fuck. Matteo felt a crushing weight in his chest and took Marie’s hand. He couldn’t imagine how she felt. Her face hid it all as the doctor began to speak.
“Right, there is really no definitive test to diagnose Parkinson’s disease but we found a couple of genetic mutations we expect to find with Parkinson’s, and your brain shows some signs of Parkinson’s. I’m sorry, Marie, but my conclusion is that you do have Parkinson’s. I checked everything else it could be, my dear, and I tried to find another explanation for you, but the scan of your brain with those mutations? Well, it’s fairly clear. I’ll be here every step of the way through, and we’ll give you medication that will control a lot of the symptoms you’re having. It won’t stop it, but the medicine will help.”
He paused to let the news sink and looked at them both in turn. “Any questions?”
They both just shook their heads and tried to process the diagnosis. They’d both suspected it for a long time and Marie had already started to cope with the idea of it, but to know for sure, well, that was different. Matteo watched her, ready to go to her at any sign of tears, but instead, she smiled at the doctor. Smiled. He was stunned.
“I think I know more about what to expect than anyone else might, so no, I don’t have any questions for now. Oh, I do have one. What about my children?”
“It’s hard to tell, Marie. I couldn’t say yes, your children will be fine, or no they won’t be. It’s a crapshoot with genetics. I’m sorry I can’t offer more hope than that.” He patted her hand and turned to leave but looked back. “I’ll release you today, so you can go home and get some rest. I’m going to recommend physical therapy now, the earlier we start it, the better.”
“Thanks, doctor,” Matteo said and looked back at his wife. She was still smiling, despite the news about children. “You amaze me, you know that?”
“Well, it’s those stages of grief, isn’t it? I’ve come to a point where I can accept it. Maybe later I’ll fall back into depression or denial, I don’t know. But for now, I feel good. I know now, and I can cope with that.”
“Can you?” He’d expected tears, screams maybe, for her to run away and never come back out of some kind of sense of being the better person. Or some shit like that. Instead, she beamed at him.
“We know now. We can cope. I know you want me with you now. You ran across the country, into another country, got shot, and almost, well, took care of your aunt for me. You may not have said it, Matteo, but you showed me. You did something nobody else has ever done for me and showed me that you love me. Like I love you.” Her eyes went wide as she said those words, almost as if she was afraid, but he leaned in to look at her.
“You love me?” His eyes were as wide as hers.
“I do, Matteo. I love you more than anything else in this world. More than I thought was possible. I love you so much it would kill me if I wasn’t with you. It’s insane really. I thought I’d end up alone, but here I am, in love with you.”
“I’d follow you to the edges of the universe, Marie. I’d burn the entire world down for you. But I think I’ve proven that by now.”
“You have, Matteo.” She took a deep breath and looked away for a minute, her face tense. “I hated having to marry you to take care of a debt. I hated being coerced into it, but now, well, I still hate it, but I’m glad I did it now. I really am.”