She glanced back at Nate. “Nice,” she murmured. “Looks fun.”
“It would be,” he said. “Hot water really works for us.”
They kept walking, all around the atrium, to the corridor facing the far side, which opened onto a series of bedroom and bath suites. She peeked inside each one, sighing in pleasure at the bedrooms, each more attractive and graceful than the last.
When she came to the last one, she went in to admire it. “They’re all so nice, it would be hard to pick a favorite,” she told him. “Every single one of them has the feel of a showcase master bedroom. No subordinate bedrooms here.”
Nate looked up at the multiple skylights on the slanted roof with a speculative gleam in his eyes. “This one would make a great painter’s studio.”
She paused, taken aback. “I suppose it would,” she said. “But I’ll get there when I get there. One thing at a time.”
“I’ll see to it that you get there. Soon.”
She turned away to peek into the bathroom before he could see her face. “Don’t make promises like that,” she told him, without turning. “Please, Nate. It’s premature. And it’s bad luck. We need to stay focused. No magical thinking.”
“Sure,” Nate said, following her to the bathroom door. “And I am. But you also need to know what you’re fighting for. The future you want.”
“How about a future where Josh and I continue to breathe?” Her voice was sharp.
“That goes without saying,” Nate said. “But I’m talking about after all this is done and dusted. Do you dream of going back to your life in San Francisco? Your friends there, your art gallery?”
Elisa’s heart thudded. So anxious, she could hardly breathe. She met his eyes in the bathroom mirror. “I don’t dream about the future,” she said. “I don’t dare.”
Nate leaned on the doorjamb. “I didn’t used to think about the future much. But in the last couple of days, I really have. All the time. Daydreams, fantasies.”
“Yeah?” she asked. “You think it’s the right time for daydreams?”
He shrugged. “They come when they come. I can’t stop them. I’m thinking about making some changes. Not just cruising through life. Deciding some things more deliberately. Thinking about a destination. Maybe a place to live outside the city. Maybe something like this.” He hesitated. “Someplace that you’d like, too.”
She turned away, biting her lip. “Really, Nate?” she said, her voice tight. “You’ve got Gil out there, and Kimball gunning for you, and you’re thinking about nesting? You should really save it for a better season.”
“Eric and Demi made a decision, not to let Kimball call the shots for them anymore,” Nate said. “I thought they were nuts. But now, I’m starting to see their point.”
“Nate—”
“Those pricks don’t get to pick. Not for you, or for me.” His voice was low and fierce. “Not Gil. Not Kimball. Fuck those guys. We can decide for ourselves. We could die tomorrow. So let’s live every day. Completely.”
“Nate, this is the wrong time for this conversation.”
“A guy can dream,” he said. “And all I dream about is you.”
She held up her hand. “Stop it,” she said. “Hold it right there, buddy. Not another goddamn word out of you.”
Nate nodded slowly. “Okay.”
“Don’t get me wrong,” she said. “The last two days have been incredible. But I can’t make this big leap that you want from me. I just can’t. Not yet.”
He nodded. “That’s fine,” he said. “I’ll wait.”
“Please understand. The stakes are already so high. And I’m not even all that worried about getting killed anymore. It’s Josh I stress about. And you want me to jack up the stakes even more? Let’s just pile up all the other things that Gil might be able to steal from me now. Like you. He could take you away from me forever. And laugh in my face while he did it.”
“Elisa, I’m not going to let him—”
“It’s not up to you!” she said fiercely. “It’s fucking random and you know it! It wasn’t up to Willis. Don’t tell me you can guarantee anything. Don’t lie to me.”
He opened his mouth, and then closed it, looking grim. “Elisa—”
“And there’s everything else,” she raged on. “He stole so much from me already, and now he wants the rest. I had good friends in San Francisco. Real ones, and I miss them. I had my brother, my work at the gallery. He’s taken it all. And the hopes and dreams, too. Traveling, seeing the world. Champagne with brunch, wine with dinner, coffee with breakfast. True love. Maybe even kids. Growing old together. Hell, growing old at all!”
“I didn’t mean to—”
“Don’t you see, Nate?” Her voice was impassioned. “I can’t even afford to hope for the future. I can’t dream or plan. It hurts too much. It’s like getting an electrical shock.”
“I understand,” he said carefully.
“One thing is sure, though,” she told him. “It’s not because I don’t care. Got it?”
Nate nodded. “Yes,” he said quietly. “I get it. I’m being an asshole. I shouldn’t push you right now, when you’re all worked up. I’m sorry.”
Elisa put her hands over her face. “Fuck,” she whispered. “Stop being so fucking nice to me, okay? You must think I’m such a mental case.”
“I think you’re spectacular,” he said. “And when all of this is done, and that shithead is dead or rotting in jail, I’ll be right here. Waiting. Hoping.”
She looked up at him, laughing through her tears. “Goddamn it, Nate.”
Their gaze met, for one breathless moment—and they both moved at the same instant. Suddenly she was wrapped in a fierce, shaking embrace that flooded her with emotion. She looked up, fully intending to say something, but her lips found his.
Words vanished, forgotten. What the kiss had to say was infinitely more important. Infinitely more true and sweet and poignant. Raw. Real. So beautiful.
She felt the hot bulge of his penis against her belly and reached down, dragging the buttons of his jeans open. Still kissing him.
Nate rocked back. “Here?” he sounded startled. “Right now?”
She laughed, tugging on the buttons. “Now you decide to be coy?”
“I thought you wanted me to be more restrained!”
“It’s not my fault if you being restrained is so fucking crazy sexy,” she told him. “It’s unfair. It’s very confusing for me. Get these jeans down…right…now.”
She jerked his jeans and underwear down over his hips, freeing up that big, gorgeous cock, which bobbed high and proud, ready for anything. Thick and blunt and endlessly enthusiastic. She sank down onto her knees, gripping the taut base of his penis, and took him in her mouth.
Wow. She loved his taste. He barely fit, but the feel of him, the texture of his skin, the solidity of his hard cock in her mouth excited her beyond belief. She had just a brief, fleeting moment of feeling insecure about her technique, and then it burned away like steam, gone forever. Nate’s obvious, helpless response could not be faked. He loved everything she did. It was all fine with him.