* * *
QUEEN OF SMUT: Geez. Take a chill pill, Skye. You guys bitch about me leaving you hanging and needing to write faster, but when I try to go into my cave and do it, you bitch about me not texting back fast enough. Which is it that will please you?
* * *
MAKES BOYS CRY: Sarcasm—SHOCKER.
* * *
QUEEN OF SMUT: Don’t EVEN TRY to act like that isn’t the official language of The Coven. But whatever. What did you need?
* * *
MAKES BOYS CRY: I want to know what happened with Dex.
* * *
QUEEN OF SMUT: Not quite sure what you mean.
* * *
MAKES BOYS CRY: Don’t play dumb. We let you get out of having this conversation earlier, but not now.
* * *
MOTHER OF DRAGONS: Skye…
* * *
MAKES BOYS CRY: Don’t act like you didn’t pick up on how our girl was acting.
* * *
YOU KNOW YOU WANNA: *GIF of Michael Jackson eating popcorn*
* * *
DANCING QUEEN: Oh, good idea. They have popcorn in this house, right?
* * *
SANTA’S COOKIE SUPPLIER: In multiple flavors.
* * *
ALPHABET SOUP: Thank god I just fed Ronnie. I’m going to need wine for this *wine glass emoji*
* * *
QUEEN OF SMUT: I don’t want to talk about it, but I WILL talk about this scene I’ve just written. Let me tell you…it is enemies-to-lovers perfection thanks to a little inspiration I got from my FAVORITE source today.
* * *
YOU KNOW YOU WANNA: Ooooo
* * *
YOU KNOW YOU WANNA: *GIF of woman clapping her hands in excitement*
* * *
YOU KNOW YOU WANNA: *whispers* She’s talking about Gemma and Chance.
* * *
PROTEIN PRINCESS: *GIF of Amber in Clueless saying, “Whatever.”*
* * *
BROADWAY BABY: Wait.
* * *
BROADWAY BABY: *GIF of Zach Morris calling for a timeout*
* * *
BROADWAY BABY: You and the sexy SEAL? Wow *head exploding emoji* Jase has been holding out on me.
* * *
DANCING QUEEN: Maybe with information, but not with that D, though.
* * *
FIDDLER ON THE ROOF: That’s what she said.
* * *
MOTHER OF DRAGONS: Gross.
* * *
THE OG PITA: Can I just say how much I FLOVE that you all are a merry band of squirrels?
* * *
QUEEN OF SMUT: And with that, I’m switching to airplane mode.
Chapter Forty-Five
Too conflicted about everything that has happened and the emotions I can’t even get a grasp on, I spent the night hiding out in my office writing. I was able to keep my girls at bay—surprisingly—by turning off the service on my phone, but my reprieve is about to come to an end.
Today is book club.
Which means my friends are going to come busting into my house like Genie putting on Prince Ali’s Welcome to Agraba parade.
Also…I miss my puppy, though I don’t blame Trident for ditching me. Admittedly, I’m boring when I’m a chickenshit. Seeing him stretched out across Dex’s feet—again—gnawing on bone—again—hits me in the feels.
Talk about being the perfect book boyfriend.
Even man’s best friend approves.
Yeah, bitch—why, why are you purposely giving yourself blue clit when you have Mr. Incredible ready and willing?
Ooo, we might need to rename him from Hook to Mr. Incredible. I like.
Yeah, Mr. Incredible Peen. Boom. Mic drop.
“Wow.” Dex’s dark eyes find me as soon as I step into the kitchen, melting my insides, and the jingle of Trident’s collar serves as the soundtrack of the moment. “You ghost on me for the night, hibernating like Baloo, only coming out for the bare necessities, and still you’re lost in your head on me.”
Dammit, Dex. Stop using Disney against me.
“Nice shirt.” Those parentheses pop out as he reads my ‘I don’t have a dirty mind. I have a sexy imagination.’ crop top.
“You ready for today?” I ask just as Gemma walks through the door loaded down with two giant insulated bags.
“Hellooo.” She drags out the word, using more syllables than needed for one greeting, eyes filled with mirth as they bounce between Dex and me.
“Need help?” Dex is already on his feet.
“I got this.” Gemma places the bags on the island with a ladylike grunt. “But if you want to help the guys bring the rest of the stuff over, that would save me another trip.”
“There’s more?” He eyes the numerous dishes being uncovered.
“Aww.” Gemma sets the oven to preheat, plastering a dreamy expression on her face. “I always forget what it’s like to have a newbie join us for book club.”
I hide my smile behind my coffee mug, not wanting to give away how amused I am by getting to witness the rarity of Dex being uncertain.
There’s a slight crinkle around his eyes when he looks my way. He’s trying hard to hide it, not wanting to remind me of the dark stalker cloud hanging over our heads, but he’s nervous about leaving me alone unprotected.
“Go.” I shoo him toward the door. “You’ll be gone less than ten minutes, Justin and Paul are already on the way, and I’m sure your mom will be here any second. Honestly, I’m surprised Gemma beat her here.”
“My mom is coming?”
“Duh.” This time I brave reaching up and putting my hands on his hard, I-want-it-to-pin-me-to-a-wall-again chest and push. “She’s pretty much our president since she’s the one who got me into the smutty smut I love so much.” I waggle my eyebrows and add a wink for good measure. If I’m lucky, I’ll be able to use over-the-top humor as a barrier.
“You mean I have to listen to my mom discuss her favorite parts in the latest lady porn you just read?”
“First off”—Gemma puts a hand on her hip, holding a spatula up with the other—“I love that you used the term ‘lady porn’. Then again, with Peggy Stone as your mom and you two”—the spatula waves between Dex and me, food splattering on the floor, which Trident quickly takes care of—“playing hide the salami, I shouldn’t be surprised.”