Caden’s stomach churned at the knowledge. He wanted to beg Quade to stop, but he needed to hear the whole thing.
“When I got home the next morning, my First—what you’d call an Alpha—demanded to know where I’d been. He didn’t need to ask, though. He could already smell Alomir on me. I was locked up while they tried to decide what to do with me. I broke the lock and snuck to their meeting so I could listen. They were going to banish me and kill Alomir, and I couldn’t allow that. I called him to let him know he needed to run, and he informed me that the crowned prince doesn’t run. He said he’d meet me in a parking lot not far from where we’d hooked up. I turned to go and found my First standing there, scowling at me. He called for a purge, which meant my people would hunt me and kill me. They almost succeeded, but Alomir got to me before they could. The First knew that in a war with vampires, we’d lose, so he banished me.”
Caden reached out and put a hand on Quade’s arm, then took his hand. “It’s okay.”
Quade pulled away and snarled. “The fuck it is. I helped butcher those men, and I fucking liked it.”
“The hell you did! You were horrified by what you did, I can see that.”
“Yeah, well, a lot of good it did me. There are a lot of things that Hollywood gets wrong about werewolves and lycans. Lycans can change form at any time. Yes, we’re still bound to the moon, but only when it’s full do we lose ourselves. We’re smarter and stronger than werewolves. But we’re also a lot more vicious, even when we’re not shifted. In my clan, we were rough, violent, and had no compunction about killing another lycan. Werewolves are mindless beasts, but lycans retain their intelligence. They know—they just don’t care.”
Quade rested his head against the window, watching the miles as they flew by.
“One thing they got right: a lycan needs his pack. They’re all interconnected and give us a sense of oneness. Without a pack, a lycan will go feral, and any shred of decency they might have will be gone, supposedly forever. That was me. I’d been out on my own too long and went insane. I shifted to a pure wolf, and my mind withered and died, leaving just the animal. Or so I thought.
“One day while I was out hunting, I came across a campsite. A family was pitching their tent and chatting among themselves. The young boy was telling them how excited he was, and his father said he couldn’t wait. The mother was complaining about wanting a place with room service, but then she laughed. It was then I noticed the little girl. She was by the side of the road, picking blue and yellow flowers. She had on a pink jacket and these bright pink rubber boots. She was singing some song in a clear, sweet voice.
“And I was going to kill her. I intended to snap her neck, then drag her corpse away and eat her. I snuck up behind her, close enough that she should have heard me, but she just kept grabbing handfuls of those damned flowers. Then she turned, and her eyes went wide as she screamed. My wolf loved her terror, because he knew she’d be tender and tasty. And just before I was about to strike, a voice in my head stopped me. I had no control over my own body. I was forced to turn away from the little kid and march back into the woods. Once there, that voice invaded my mind and slithered through it, rooting out memories of my human self. It was Ten, and he literally tore open my mind and freed me from my prison. He and Jack brought me back to Sanctuary, where Ten told them I was better now. He put his hands on my face and I shifted back to this body, and I cried, because I thought I’d never be me again. Ten stroked my hair and told me it was okay, that the people of Sanctuary would be my pack and I’d never be alone again.”
Quade sighed, reached out and tapped the window.
“So now you know.”
Caden twined their fingers and squeezed. “You’re not alone. You have Ten, you have the people who trust you, and you’ve got me.”
Turning his head, Quade peered at Caden. “You?”
“We’re friends, and I hang on tight to those. Knowing what you did doesn’t change the fact that I trust in you. I’m willing to believe in you and the fact that my other friends will be safe with you. There aren’t many—if any—people I would entrust them to.”
Quade swallowed hard enough that Caden heard it. He tightened his grip on Caden’s fingers.
“Thank you. That means more to me than you’ll ever know.”
Caden kept quiet during the remainder of the drive, but Quade didn’t sense any fear from him. Maybe he’d been telling the truth about not judging Quade for what had happened.
Still, recalling the story and, worse, retelling it had left Quade emotionally exhausted. That dark period in his life was over, but the specter would always remain, overshadowing any happiness he found, because he knew, deep down, that beast still lurked within him.
Caden pulled up in front of a small house, painted in a dark blue, with cute white shutters on the windows. It was homey and charming, and Quade could picture Caden living here.
“You ready to meet the guys?”
Quade chuckled. “You make it sound like I ought to be nervous.”
“Maybe because you should be.”
The door opened and two men rushed out. One was tall, with dark hair and a wide smile. The other was short and skinny, with platinum blond hair and a face full of freckles.
The younger man threw his hands up and shouted, “Caden!” Then he was off the porch and wrapping Caden in his arms, kissing his cheek. The other one strode down the stairs and walked over to where Caden stood, pushed his partner aside, and hugged Caden too.
“It’s good to see you. Where have you been? We expected you days ago.”
“Yeah, I had car troubles.” He waved a hand toward the vehicle they’d arrived in. “Had to get this so I could make the trip.”
Quade was surprised by the ease of Caden’s lie, and his friends didn’t seem to think anything wrong.
“Finally got tired of the small-town life?”
“Nope. I love where I’m living.” He turned toward Quade. “This is my friend, Quade. Quade, this bundle of energy with the…. Blond? What happened to the red hair?
The guy sighed. “Everyone wants to be a redhead lately, so I went the other way.”
Caden shook his head. “Okay, the newly blond guy is Kieran, this tall one is Matt.”
“Oh my God, he’s gorgeous!” Kieran turned and glared at Caden. “Why is this the first we’re hearing of him?” He waved a hand. “Never mind.” He rushed to the other side of the car and threw his arms around Quade’s neck. “It’s very, very nice to meet you.” He stepped back and wrapped his hand around Quade’s bicep. “Ooh, and he’s strong. Do you work out a lot, Quade?”
“Uh… no. Just natural, I guess.”
“Me likey.” He spun on his heel again. “So where did you two meet? How long have you been together? When’s the wedding? Which one of you is bearing the children—not that I have to ask, right, Caden?”
Holy fuck, this one had already exhausted Quade. Even on a sugar high, Ten didn’t have this kind of energy.
“If you let them come into the house, maybe they can get a word in, honey.”
He smacked his forehead. “Oh my God! I’m such a ditz. Come on, come in. We have a room all set up for you. The bed’s not that big, but maybe you two can stack.”