Rick never wanted to pick that weight back up again.
“You’re not sleeping,” Lana said into his chest. “Do you want me to leave?”
Her question took him off guard. “Do you want to leave?”
“I don’t know. Depends on how upset you look when I open my eyes.”
Running his hand down her side, Rick found himself smiling. “Is that why you won’t look at me?”
“No.”
“Really?”
“Maybe.”
Cradling her close, Rick kissed her, a long, slow kiss. “Sweetheart, I don’t want you going anywhere.”
A single eye opened as if to secretly check. It had made sense when he was afraid of this not being real. But in what universe would she need to worry? Rick rolled over onto his back, drawing her across his chest, her hair falling across his neck and jaw.
“Trust me, the last thing I am right now is upset.”
He wasn’t used to insecurity from her, but he could guess where it was coming from. It wasn’t as if he’d made his bedroom welcoming for anyone new to walk in there.
Heck, his ex’s clothes were still in the drawers, and the bedding was still lavender and gray, her choices.
“What was she like?” Lana asked quietly, as if reading his mind.
Rick’s eyebrow rose. “You really want to talk about my ex?”
“She was a big part of you. Besides, you’ve got that same expression on your face you always get when you’re thinking about her.”
That was bad. Extra bad. He was the absolute worst. Which was why he had no idea why Lana was grinning at him.
“I’m trained to read facial expressions,” Lana reassured him. “It’s a boardroom game I learned as a child. And I’m not jealous. This was new for you, and if you want to talk about her, I’m okay with that. I don’t expect you not to have feelings.”
Sighing, Rick closed his eyes, allowing himself to take a long, steadying breath.
“I have feelings,” he said. “A little guilt, even though it’s ridiculous. Jen’s remarried and living in Seattle. I have nothing to feel guilty for.”
“Divorce isn’t something people get over easily.” Lana’s hand rubbed a soothing circle over his chest. “It takes time.”
“I think if she’d been awful, it wouldn’t have hurt the way it did. She was good, and she was kind, but she didn’t love me the way I loved her. Moose Springs wasn’t right for her anymore, so she let me go the nicest way she knew how. No dragged-out divorce, no fighting over what we had. All she wanted was to be free.”
His voice quieted on the last word, so much that he’d be surprised if Lana could hear him.
“I’d loved her a long time. Tried my best to make things work, even when they weren’t. It wasn’t until we were standing there with the attorneys that I realized after her sister died, she just needed to get out.”
“Did you ever tell her that?”
Rick sighed, rolling back to rest on the pillow, staring up at the ceiling. “She wanted to be left alone. I couldn’t make her happy, but at least I could give her that.”
His arm was still looped around her waist, so Lana wriggled until she could rest her chin on his broad chest. “Were you happy?”
It took him a long time to answer. Then Rick sighed again, deeper this time. He threaded his fingers into her hair, sitting up enough that he could kiss her. A long, slow kiss that had her arm tightening around his waist.
“I thought I was,” he said. “But that was before a woman in a dead sexy dress looked me in the eyes and told me to put on a Santa suit two sizes too small.”
“It was a really good look on you.” She sighed at the memory.
“That remains to be seen, gorgeous.”
Lana snugged in closer. “Does it bother you? Lying in her bed with me?”
“It stopped being her bed a long time ago. It’s mine. And no, it doesn’t. Does it bother you?”
“That you’re divorced? Only that you think you did something wrong. I didn’t know you then, but the man I know now…I can’t imagine it.”
Rick ran a hand over her hair. “We grew apart. I didn’t want to see it.”
“And now?”
“Now I want to be happy.” Taking her in, Rick added softly, “And I’m happiest when you’re happy.”
Lana sat up, eyes sparkling in the low glow of the woodburning stove. “I want you to be happy too,” she said. “So what do you want to do today that will make you happy?”
Rick stretched out, wiggling into the bedding to make himself more comfortable. “Pretty sure this is about as good as it gets for me, gorgeous,” he told her. He ran a thumb down her side. “Besides, you need to stay warm and dry today. You had a dunking yesterday. We really should have gone to the doctor.”
“I’m right as rain.” Lana dipped her head and kissed him. “Not a sniffle in sight.”
“If I catch wind of a single sniff, you and I are heading straight for the hospital. This is not going to be a pneumonia Christmas.”
She made the cutest face at him, causing Rick to chuckle and pull her back down to join him. Slow, luxurious kisses in the morning were something he could get used to.
“You know…it is two days before Christmas,” she mulled, just as he was thinking of staying right where they were forever.
“And?”
“And I have a Santa Moose still on the loose.”
Well…in that case…
* * *
They could have been in bed. They could have been cuddled up in front of the living room fire, eating cinnamon rolls at Frankie’s, or drinking hot chocolate at Dirty Joe’s. But no. Rick had to be dressed head to toe in a skintight Santa costume for the second time that week.
“I don’t see how this is going to help,” he told her, grimacing down at himself.
“My initial plans fell through, and now I have to think outside the box. Besides, you look darling.”
“Really? Darling?”
She laughed at the expression on his face. “Handsome. Very masculine and sexy. They’ll make a movie about Santas like you one day.”
He stole her hand, pressing a kiss to her wrist.
“You do realize that I’m a complete sucker for you, right? I would never in a hundred years do this of my own accord.”