Jude’s face winces and he lifts his hand to his face, pinching the bridge of his nose. I don’t know if he’s upset or relieved or if it doesn’t make an ounce of a difference to him. I can’t get a read on this man to save my life.
“We just planned it today,” I say. “She wants one last girls’ trip before the baby comes.”
He’s quiet, his eyes closed now as he lies on his back.
“Jude?” I ask, wanting nothing but some kind of sign that he heard me.
“Have fun, Love,” he says. “I’ll see you when you get back.”
A moment later, he rolls away from me, burying the side of his face against a flat pillow.
Something’s off.
Something’s not right.
But I’ll deal with it when I get back.
Thirty-Six
Jude
* * *
Love crept out of the apartment this morning, pressing a kiss against my forehead before she dashed out the door. Her spur-of-the-moment Hamptons excursion puts a bit of a cramp in my plans, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I wasn’t going to tell her to stay, to keep her from having a good time with her best friend, just so I could unload this burden and break her heart.
Three days.
She’ll be back in three days.
Until then …
The soft click of the apartment lock tells me Lo’s home, and I drag myself out of bed. It’s still early enough that the traffic horns haven’t woken Ellie, but I wasn’t expecting to see Lo until later.
“Hey,” I say, ambling out of my room and finger combing my messy hair into place. “Everything okay?”
Lo sits her purse on the kitchen table. “Yeah. She’s … she’s doing a lot better. They think they’ll send her home today. Just came home to grab a quick shower, then I’m heading back.”
“I can stay with Ellie,” I offer, though that goes without saying. She has no one else besides Moira Gutenberg, and she’s already been gracious with her assistance this past month.
“Yeah. Thanks,” Lo says, stepping out of her Chucks and kicking them aside. “Where’s Love?”
“She left this morning for the Hamptons.”
Lo’s sunken gaze moves to mine. “The Hamptons? That’s random. Didn’t you two just get back from a trip?”
“Yeah.” I exhale. Nothing about this past week has made sense. We had an amazing week together. She went MIA on me for a day due to a “migraine.” The next day she picks up right where she left off, only this time she realizes she loves me … and now she’s taking off for three days. “I’m going to end it with her, Lo.”
My sister stands by the table, hands on her hips as she searches my eyes, though for what, I’m not sure.
“Really?” she asks a moment later.
I nod.
“Wow.” Lo heads to a kitchen cupboard to grab a glass before filling it with tap water. “I … I don’t know what to say. I’m proud of you for doing the right thing, but you look … you look so … deflated.”
“The past day has been insane,” I say, “and with Piper and—”
“—you love her,” Lo cuts me off, hand still resting on the faucet lever.
Rolling my eyes, I say, “No. I barely knew her, Lo.”
“Liar.” She takes a drink of water. “But I get it. Telling yourself you don’t care about her makes this easier for you.”
“I’m only doing this because I do care about her.”
Shuffling to the living room, Lo sinks into a worn seat on the edge of the sofa we bought for two hundred bucks on Craigslist last month.
“I’m sorry, Jude,” Lo says, cupping the water glass in her hand as she stares ahead at a blank TV screen. “She was pretty amazing. And I know you weren’t expecting that. I completely understand how that changed things for you.” Pulling in a breath and letting it go, she glances back toward me. “So how are you going to do this? What are you going to say?”
Taking the lumpy chair across from her, I rest my elbows on my knees and bury my face in my hands for a second.
“I’m just going to tell her it’s not working out and I’m sorry,” I say, rubbing my tired eyes. “Legally … there’s nothing else I can say. Hunter had me sign that NDA. If I so much as hint about anything Hunter and I have talked about and she figures it out … he can sue me for hundreds of thousands of dollars.”
Silence lingers between us, though the whistle of water pipes in the building and the family of wild rhinos in the apartment above us fill that soundless void.
“Can’t you just end it now, give her some time, and then come back into her life in a few months? People break up and get back together all the time.”
Sitting back, I pick at a loose thread in the arm rest and shake my head. I’ve already thought about that, and it’s not an option.
“If Hunter sees me back in her life a few months from now, he’s going to do everything he can to destroy that,” I say. “Not to mention, she’ll find out I was never a ‘strategic consultant.’” I drag in a haggard breath. “I’m done lying to her.”
Rising from her sunken seat, Lo shuffles across the matted carpet until she’s standing in front of me. We’ve never been a touchy-feely-huggy-affectionate family, but I get the sense that she wants to hug me right now.
“Don’t,” I say, placing my hand out to stop her.
Comfort and compassion are the last things I deserve.
Thirty-Seven
Love
* * *
When Tierney said we were staying at her friend’s “beach cottage,” I wasn’t expecting a five-thousand-square-foot waterfront manse sitting on three acres with an unblocked view of the Atlantic.
But I managed to settle in to my private, second floor suite without a single complaint.
Sleep didn’t come as easily as it should have last night despite the fact that we spent the better part of yesterday afternoon strolling the beach and walked the evening market downtown just before dinner.
I peel my eyes open and reach for my phone on my nightstand. I’d texted a little bit with Jude last night, but it was nothing more than “how are you?” and “how’s Piper?” and “what are you doing?”
There was no flirting. No “I miss you.” No playful banter.
Sliding out of bed, I inhale the salty breeze wafting from the cracked window in the bathroom, and I peel out of my pajamas.
Taking a good look in the mirror, I press my palms against my puffy, swollen face that hurts when I try to smile. My skin is tinged in pink along my forehead and the bridge of my nose, overly sun-kissed, and the wine and salty seafood I had last night isn’t helping matters.
Still, I’m enjoying my time with Tierney, and it’s kind of nice being a world away from the city and the maelstrom that has become my fake love life.
A half hour later, I’m showered for the day, donning a cornflower blue, striped cotton sundress and traipsing down the elaborate curved staircase toward the kitchen.