I made a lot of it, one big casserole dish for us and a smaller one for Mrs. Jackson, as a thank-you for her gift of lasagna a few nights back. I poured in the filling and coated it with a thick layer of creamy mashed potatoes then put both pans in the oven to bake a bit longer while I cleaned the rest of the kitchen up. Being back here was a stark reminder of how much I enjoyed cooking and how little of it I did in my own place.
Often, I took work home with me and ended up ordering takeout or cooking something simple. But I’d never noticed before how isolated living like that left me. I felt it here, though. Whenever I locked myself in the guest room to hash out some work, the girls’ laugher or Hal singing along with them during movie time would filter through from downstairs. At Dominic’s, I’d listen to his off-key humming as he worked on the house. I kept wanting to join them, spend more time with them, but I couldn’t. Not if I wanted to make partner.
I didn’t hear the front door open over the sound of the water pouring from the faucet, but I did hear Marnie and Steph calling out, “Uncle Nicky!”
My heart beat a little faster.
I wasn’t used to reacting this way to another person. I went on dates, sure, and I liked sex, but this anticipatory “lub-dub” leaping of my heart before I even saw the person I was interested in, before I even heard their voice or felt their hand on mine? Not the usual for me, not at all. When his hand did touch me, falling lightly on my shoulder before stroking a path down my arm, my heart kicked it up even more.
“Hey,” Dominic said, leaning close and kissing the base of my neck. It was a tentative sort of kiss, like he wasn’t sure if he’d be welcomed or shrugged off. I turned off the water, dried my hands, then faced him fully.
“Hi.” I took his snow-cold hand in both my warm ones and tugged him a little more. As soon as he was in range, I kissed him. He melted against me, like I’d suddenly given him permission to show me how much he liked what we were doing and how much he wanted it. I moved one hand to his waist and pulled him in closer, until our thighs brushed. We kissed again, slow and soft, and I started to get hard in my jeans.
“Uncle Nicky, are we—oooh!”
Aaand Marnie had found us. I grinned, but Dominic jumped back like he’d been burned. He didn’t let go of my hand, though, which…I definitely felt like I was getting mixed signals here. I looked over at Marnie. “What’s up, buttercup?”
“Are you guys kissing?” she demanded with both hands on her cheeks. Steph joined her a moment later, her eyes wide and interested.
“Well, we were,” I said. “Not right now, obviously.”
“Are you going to kiss again?”
“Not right now,” I repeated.
“Do you like each other?”
I waited for Dominic to pick up the reins on this one, and after a few seconds of him staring between me and his nieces, he did. “Uh, yeah. We do, Marnie.”
She looked between us. “Even though you’re both boys?”
“Yeah, we…both of us like boys. For kissing.”
“Not girls?”
Dominic shook his head. His hand in mine was trembling. “No, not girls. Not for me, at least. Just boys.”
“Oh.” Marnie thought about it for a second then nodded. “Okay, cool.”
“Cool?” Dominic seemed to deflate a little. “Really?”
“Yeah!”
“You don’t have any…questions for me or anything?”
Marnie shook her head. “My friend Sydney at school has two mommies, and when we talked about Antarctica, Mrs. Paulson said her son was a scientist down there and she wished he would find a nice boy and settle down instead of being a scientist down there, because he never comes home. Uncle Nicky, will you watch Max and Ruby with us now?”
“Absolutely,” he said. I squeezed his hand, and he squeezed back before following the girls into the living room. I shut the dishwasher, turned it on, and reflected for a moment on the fact that this was the first time I’d ever been part of someone’s coming out. Not that Dominic wasn’t already out to his family, but maybe seeing him in a relationship—for a given value of relationship—was novel to the girls. Either his preferences had been solely academic before, or it hadn’t come up with them.
I was glad he’d taken the leap. Particularly, I was glad he’d taken the leap for us. It shouldn’t have made me feel as effervescently happy as it did, but it was a big step for him, and I’d been the catalyst for it. I was happy for him. Being out was a big deal for me. I’d never ask a guy to come out, but I wouldn’t go into the closet to be with someone.
Not that I was thinking about the future. At all.
Especially not here, where my deadbeat dad caused ruckuses in grocery stores just to be an asshole. Where people still spoke of the tragedy he inflicted on the town, and my name was linked by association.
Nope, not happening.
…
Hal came home half an hour later, and as he went into the kitchen to get a beer to go with dinner, I followed him. The whole house smelled delicious, savory and warm, and I figured now was as good a time as any to talk to him about Ariel. He cracked open a bottle and took a drink, set it down on the counter, then offered me a seltzer. As soon as I took it, he grabbed his beer again, tilted his head back, and drank half of it down like it was water.
Uh-oh. “What’s up?” I asked quietly.
“I’ve fucking lost my mind,” he replied, looking grim.
Oh man, this sounded serious. I set my drink on the counter and met his eyes. “What is it? Did something happen at work?”
“Yeah, you could say that. Nothing bad, just—” Hal took a deep breath, held it, then released it with a bunch of words. “I got the girls a dog.”
He…oh. Oh. “Wow,” I managed after a second. “That’s a big step. I mean, I know Marnie’s been cheerleading for one for a while, but I didn’t think you were actually going to give in.”
“I didn’t mean to.” He sounded panicked. “I had absolutely zero plans to get a freaking dog for Christmas, but one of my guys almost ran into this mutt on the road this morning, and when he went to check it out, it turned out to be a puppy—probably not more than six months, the vet said.”
Hal put his broad hand over his eyes. “She’s seriously goddamn cute, Max. Seriously. I had to spend all day with the damn thing, and by the end of it, I had nowhere to put her but here, and I know the girls would love her and I already paid for her shots, for shit’s sake.”
This was serious. “Where are you keeping her?”