Or the spider was out of the box.
I thought it would keep people away, but it had the opposite effect. Everyone stopped by to see if I was okay and get their fill of the town’s latest gossip. I expected more anger at the club for bringing this kind of thing into town, but everyone spoke reasonably highly of the club, talking about how they organized charity runs and helped fund the children’s center down the street.
Rosco and Skeet hadn’t left the store all day, they looked vigilant, always scanning the street. I bet it got boring, hanging out in a women’s clothing shop all day, so I made an effort to buy them lunch and coffees to get them through the day. I also gave them magazines, but they had gone unopened. I guessed there was no time for leisurely reading when one was guarding against a possible gang attack.
I sighed, letting the last of the customers out before locking the door behind them. I had let Lily go early because she had a test to study for, and she had been about as jumpy as me, steeling worried glances at Rosco and Skeet all day.
I turned to Amy, who was counting the register, then glanced to Rosco and Skeet lounging on the couches.
“Who’s keen for pizza?” I rubbed my hands together at the thought of the carby goodness.
Amy screwed her face up. “Cheese, grease, and about a thousand calories?” she replied, then a light sparked in her face. “Count me in, maybe if I gained a hundred pounds I wouldn’t have to worry about the unwanted advances of some biker idiot. As long as we get ice cream too.”
I laughed. “Awesome.”
The men were smirking at Amy’s latest comment. “Are we allowed to stop by the pizza place and grocery store without you two getting raked over the coals?” I asked sarcastically.
Neither said a word, they just stood still grinning. I guessed that was a yes.
“Holy crap, I feel like I’m about to explode,” Amy groaned as she tossed the empty ice cream carton into the direction of the trash can then flopped back down onto Cade’s bed.
I lay down beside her, unbuttoning my pants. “Yes, I feel like I may just slip into a food coma.”
We had just consumed a huge pizza and a carton of ice cream, which did nothing to quell the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach I had had since this morning. If ice cream didn’t cure it, shit was serious.
After getting back to the club with our goodies, we had managed to slip through the women and children and escape to Cade’s room, but not before Steg had approached me. We were almost to the stairs when he and one of the older men had emerged from “church.” He spotted me and made a beeline.
“Shit,” I muttered under my breath.
Amy followed my gaze. “Uh-oh, biker prez, twelve o’clock.”
Steg had a surprisingly soft look on his harsh face when he approached. His hand cupped my chin and my eyes flared in surprise.
“Gwen, you okay?” he asked softly, and my stomach dropped.
Had Cade said something to him about this morning? Surely not, they barely got along. At a loss of what to do, I nodded awkwardly.
“You’re strong,” he stated, his tone sounding like he almost respected me. “Yesterday, you held it together. Other bitches would’ve reacted, possibly causing even more shit. You did good, did right by the club.”
Whoa.
Had I just gained the approval of someone who I suspected may or may not be an evil man? My question was answered when he bent down to kiss my cheek, gave me a firm nod then disappeared. I was so shocked I was pretty sure my mouth was wide open.
“What the fuck?” Amy sounded just as confused as I was. I grabbed her hand and dragged her towards the stairs.
“I will not even be attempting to figure out what just happened, my head is too full.”
We had spent the rest of the night hiding in Cade’s room. I had learned that he and the boys were away doing something – I wouldn’t like to think what – and were not expected back for a long while. I had mixed feelings about this, one part of me was relieved. I had spent the day avoiding all thoughts about this morning, and I needed time to get my mind straight.
I was scared, seeing Cade lose control that reminded me a little too much of the violence that had been unleashed on me a year earlier. I didn’t want that to happen again. I was sure Cade wouldn’t hurt me, the look of disgust at himself this morning showed how much he obviously hated himself for his moment of anger.
I loved him, a lot. I couldn’t just write off this incident though, seeing him that angry had been scary, but I knew he had a temper and it had been from worrying about me. I didn’t want to justify his behavior, but I knew how much he hated feeling powerless.
Crap.
“Earth to Gwen.” Amy was staring at me looking slightly concerned.
“Sorry, Ames, was a million miles away,” I replied, hoping to sound breezy. I didn’t fool my BFF, though.
“What happened with you and Cade this morning? I know it must have been serious, you’ve been off all day.”
I sighed, not wanting to lie to her. “We had a fight this morning, it got…intense,” I told her vaguely.
Her eyes flared in anger and she pushed up onto her elbows. “He didn’t hurt you did he? My threat still stands, I will de-ball that man, even if it would be a crime not to let the world see how beautiful your babies would be.”
My friend was protective, I knew she would want to get involved in this and I didn’t have the energy. “No, he didn’t hurt me, he’s just protective. He didn’t want me going anywhere. I disagreed, it got heated. You know me, I hate being told what to do. It’ll be fine,” I tried to reassure her and myself at the same time.
Amy left not long after our talk about Cade, receiving a text from Rosie saying they could bunk together. Obviously whatever had happened with Brock had been serious and he didn’t want her in his room any more. I was infinitely curious about this, but Amy was locked tight and I didn’t want to push her.
I found it hard to find sleep, not having Cade next to me and not wanting this to be permanent, and then I questioned myself for yearning for Cade. I finally drifted off into a restless slumber, waking up and reaching for Cade.
Sometime during the night I woke yet again, but this time I had firm arms wrapped around me and I was tucked into Cade’s chest. I looked up at him, groggy, trying to decide whether I was dreaming or not. He must have sensed my gaze because his arms tightened.
“Sleep, baby,” his voice was rough.
Still half asleep I burrowed back into him, trying to get as close as I could. “I love you, Cade,” I whispered, feeling his body go tight around me, I drifted off before he could reply.
I woke to an empty bed. I looked around and deduced I was alone. Had I dreamt him? I sighed, trying to gather my thoughts and figure out the disaster that seemed to be my life. I felt sick about the way things were with Cade, he was out doing God knows what, obviously in danger and things were weird with us. I didn’t want that, no matter how out of hand things got yesterday, I couldn’t be without him. Period.
If that made me a stupid woman who was blinded by love, then I guessed I had better get used to those rose tinted glasses, I wasn’t going to bolt and spend the rest of my life wondering what if. Yeah, a sensible man who wore a suit to work and had zero risk of coming home riddled with bullets was probably the best option. But that wasn’t me, unfortunately I wasn’t sensible. I did crazy shit, I needed a man that could handle that, handle me. And I needed Cade like I needed Chanel, so I would work something out.