Savanta suddenly speaks as he’s midbite, “He’s not doing anything good, if you stick with him, you’ll be dragged down too.”
He stares back, slowly chewing while considering her words. Azure’s bad intentions are already well known to him. After all, he’s already killed for him. If Azure becomes more violent towards others, that’s not something he’s afraid of for himself. Besides, it wasn't a senseless killing, there was a reason for it and he attempted to save the town.
“Somehow. I think I’ll survive.” After all, what’s the alternative?
Savanta stirs her coffee idly, “It was only fair warning. You don’t seem like the type to want to get mixed up in other people’s problems.”
“And what would you have me do? Do you want me to stop him? I can tell we both know Azure does what he wants.”
“I don't want you to do anything. I’m only warning you not to get so wrapped up with him before something bad happens that you can’t fix.”
“We’re just traveling together, what Azure does is his own business.”
“You know that’s not true. I’m not sure what he’s told you, if anything, but Azure always always has his own agenda. If he kept you with him, there’s a reason and it’s better not to owe him anything.”
As if he didn't already know that. He’s well aware that Azure is using him, but right now, it benefits both of them. And maybe setting a bunch of revenge driven Manipulators free isn’t in everyone’s best interests, but that’s also not his problem because he didn’t lock them up. So, if they decide to go kill their captors, as long as they leave him alone, he doesn’t care anymore. He won’t survive if he focuses on everyone else.
“I don’t owe him anything right now,” he responds. “We’re even. You should be more worried about yourself.”
“It’s different, we’re friends, we grew up together. He won’t treat me and Sara the same way he would someone else.”
“Well, maybe we’re friends too,” Ocher retorts.
Savanta shakes her head, “No, you’re not.” He hates that she knows she’s right, he’s nothing to Azure except a tool. He still doesn’t understand why he wants any kind of companionship so much now, he’s been just fine without it for fifteen years. Savanta places her fingers tentatively against his hand and he pulls away immediately, almost missing her words. “He’s going to get you if you let him.”
“You should tell that to your sister more than me.”
“I can handle my sister.”
“I can handle myself.”
She takes another sip of coffee, “You think I didn’t see the way you looked at him last night or this morning? I’m not sure what you see in him. You might be afraid he’ll leave you, but even if you don’t see it yourself yet, you’re interested.”
“I’m interested in a lot of things,” he shoots back.
Savanta glares at him, “I’m trying to help you. Don’t give him that kind of responsibility, he’s going to hurt you.”
Ocher glares back, “The only thing I’m interested in from him is finding my freedom, then when I do, I’ll be happy.” He ignores the thought of 'maybe' that hovers right at the edge of his thoughts.
Azure enters the room amidst their stare off, yawning and ruffles a hand through his hair. Ocher breaks his glare to look up in surprise at the unexpected act of affection.
“It’s too early for fighting,” Azure responds simply.
“Who’s fighting?”
Ocher grimaces as Sara appears around the corner in another one of her frilly dresses, this time in dark purple. Hopefully Calliston sleeps late, he’s already feeling suffocated and he’s not in the mood for another of the man’s snide comments.
“Ocher and Savanta are arguing over me,” Azure answers.
They both give him a look, but it’s Sara who responds as she takes a seat next to her sister. “Well, it’s useless for both of them. I’ve already won!”
“Very true.”
Sara gives Ocher a knowing grin and he turns away. He doesn’t trust her. He studies the red headed girl as she sets breakfast in front of Azure, her delicate hands and easy touches, something about them rubs him the wrong way. Azure has such an easy acceptance of her, it just doesn’t fit. The way she looked at him when she first saw him is at odds with how she flits around happy and carefree, doting on Azure and smiling brightly at her sister.
He doesn’t understand it, so he can’t trust her. It’s just too suspicious and she’s hiding something. Azure may like her sweetness, but she’s false. He can feel it.
After breakfast, Azure announces that the train to their next destination doesn’t leave until the afternoon, so they have the whole day to fill.
They end up in a bookstore which is one of the last places Ocher wants to be. The other option was to stay at the house with those strangers and he wasn’t willing to sit there under their gazes. At least, the bookstore smells less like fish than the outside air. He sits curled up in an armchair with a cup of cider in his hands. The taste is stronger than he’s used to, although anything not watered down is strong to him.
He wasn’t completely honest with Savanta. He doesn’t want to be set loose, he wants his freedom, but he wants his freedom with Azure as equals, not because he owes him. He doesn't want to be alone anymore. If they could travel around, seeing the world together indefinitely, he’d be happy with that. Finding someone else and learning them isn’t worth the effort. Azure was right, he hasn’t been thinking about the future because he’s fine with how things are now.
Now he just has to convince Azure to be fine with the way things are too.
Azure returns and waves a book in front of his face, the dark green lettering across the cover indecipherable to him. “Here, take it.” Ocher makes no move to take the book, it’s useless to him. “It’s a history book, you need to know more about this country and the whole world actually.”
“I prefer to learn by experiencing.”
“I prefer not to have your inexperience inconvenience us. Just read it, it’s filled with more information than they’ve taught you since you’ve been alive.”
Ocher has no doubt that it is, but that doesn’t change the fact that he can’t read it. Being unable to read never seemed like a hindrance until he left the base and learned most people could. One of the disadvantages of being seen as a body with fighting as it’s only worth.
“You’re really not going to read it?”
“I’d rather just wait for you to finish here.”
Azure stares between him and the book, contemplating. He turns the book over his hands slowly before setting it on a nearby table. “You can’t read, can you?”
Ocher lets his face remain neutral, “Yes, I can.”
“No, you can’t.” He taps the cover of the book impatiently with one finger. “I haven’t seen you read a thing this entire time. Anytime we eat, you point at the pictures or the food without ever saying the name. I never noticed until I really thought about it.”
He shrugs, “I’ve been doing just fine without knowing, so it’s not really important.”