“Bottom feeder.”
“That doesn’t mean they only eat bottoms, just that they eat near the bottom. And back off with the judgment.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it. My focus is keeping you safe and remaining in your good graces. Everything else pales.”
She stripped three steamers out of their shells, rinsed them, dipped them, ate them. “You’re not fooling me. I can tell you’re dying to comment. So go ahead and criticize these delightful little fruits of the sea.”
“Clams are mud dwellers that will eat anything, including particles of deceased animals.” He sighed and slumped back. “Thank you for letting me get that off my chest.”
“If you’re angling to get me to share some, you’re going about it the wrong way.”
She almost laughed to see him visibly shudder. “I’m not angling for that at all. At. All.”
“Sure. So, what? You’re here for MAGE but wanted to bodyguard on the side?”
“That’s exactly right. I’m officially on vacation for the next few days, so this won’t cut into my other duties.”
“You’re kidding!” She stared at him. “That’s so great. Above and beyond, Tom. Truly.”
He shrugged, but she had the impression he was pleased. “I’m fortunate that my supervisor allowed me access to the relevant files, given that Danielle’s is a cold case and that my investigation isn’t necessarily in an official capacity.”
“Right. I mean—you’re not exactly Kay Scarpetta.”
“Pardon?” He’d begun to eat his salmon and paused to swallow. “Who?”
“The heroine of all those Patricia Cornwell novels? She’s an ME who teams up with the cops and solves murders while being a great cook and a supportive aunt. The books always hit the bestseller list. You’re an ME who has never heard of Kay Scarpetta?”
“It’s possible to be one,” he pointed out dryly.
“Right. Well, in the books and movies, coroners always team up with cops and catch killers—”
“Like in Bones! It inspired me to study forensics.”
“Wait, you’ve heard of Bones but not Cornwell?”
“Yes, David Boreanaz is my favorite actor.”
“David Boreanaz is your favorite actor,” she parroted. “You must have loved Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And Angel, though I’ve gotta say, Buffy was the superior show.”
“Mmmmm … I don’t believe so. I don’t care for paranormal shows.”
“David Boreanaz is your favorite actor but only because he played a cop in Bones, which made you want to be a medical examiner?”
“Now that I hear it out loud, I understand your surprise. It does seem odd.”
“Yeah, just a smidge. Hey, do you mind? Because it smells incredible.” He nodded at once and let her stab a chunk of salmon with her fork. “Great, thanks—anyway, my point is, in the real world, to the best of my knowledge—MEs don’t actually—”
“I see your point. I spend ninety-five percent of my time in a lab, which I imagine could make for dull television.”
“Good call.”
“For other people, not me … I would watch a show about someone who spends ninety-five percent of their time in a lab environment.”
“Of course you would. Well, what do you think?”
“I think you are a lovely, passionate, intelligent woman who eats garbage.”
“I meant, where do we go from here? And you’re wrong about that.” She left it vague so he could wonder which attribute she had a problem with. “I’m in the same boat you are, by the way. Actually, my boat’s much leakier—you’re at least part of the criminal justice system. I’ve got no official responsibilities and no training in forensics or law enforcement. But fuck it. The killer chased me away last time.
“Well, not again. Not this time. This would normally be the part where I proclaim that I never make the same mistake twice, except I do that all the time. But I’m owning it now. I’m not running away. And I’m in the game now, Doc Baker! Not that this is a game.” Stop talking. Eat your bottom-feeder dinner.
Nope. Her inner voice was denied; turned out she had more to say. “I’m still using the playbook from ten years ago, is what I’m trying to stay. And it got me exactly where it did before: flying away and pretending nothing ever happened, or if it did, that it was so long ago it didn’t bother me anymore. But the hell with that playbook and the hell with the killer. You’re coming with me and we’re going to actually do something.”
“Technically, you’re coming with m—”
“Don’t wreck my self-actualization, Tom!”
“Right. Sorry.”
“Okay then.”
“Yes.”
“Glad we’re on the same page,” she added.
“As am I. Also, I suspect I am coming to adore you, which I can’t explain.”
“Probably just some bad fish.”
He laughed and made a show of gobbling the rest of his salmon.
Nice speech, her eternally snarky inner voice piped up. But for someone who keeps saying this isn’t the movies, you’re making lots of movie-heroine mistakes.
Maybe so. But at least she wasn’t hiding. She’d face her fuckups head-on, and nothing was going to stop her.
Probably.
Thirty-Three
“You’re grounding me?”
“Yes, Ava. I’m very sorry.”
“But my follow-up test was clean! Everyone agreed the first test was deeply screwed!”
“It’s not a punishment, Ava. But someone blasted past our firewalls and e-mailed half the company your fraudulent test results.”
“Good God!” And on the heels of that: holy shit, Tom was right! On the bright side, this latest unwelcome announcement saved her the “why does my entire crew know I flunked a piss test?” phone call to HR.
“You’re still getting occasional press about the belly landing, which means this has the potential to become a major news story. And while you’ve done nothing wrong, what do people usually assume when they hear a celebrity—”
“What? Ridiculous.”
“—flunked a drug test?”
Ava sighed. “People usually assume the subject lied, not the test.”
“Exactly. We need to find the leak, plug the leak, and make sure something like that can’t happen again. All of which will take time. And meanwhile…”
“This sucks, Jan.”
“I know,” the rep replied quietly. “Again, I’m sorry. It’s not a punishment; it won’t cut into your sick leave or vacation time. It’s a literal paid vacation from us to you.”
“Well, golly, when you put it that way, I should be thankful.”
“Well, no,” Jan replied in a meek voice utterly unlike her normal briskly sarcastic tone. “Just that it won’t cost you anything.”
“You mean in terms of money,” Ava said flatly.
“Well. Yes.”
She sighed. “Anything else?”
“For now, no.”