Once the day was over, and my time was my own, I used the bus and let the journey take as long as was necessary. Even if the forty minutes sometimes veered toward ninety if traffic was bad.
When I made it home, I immediately switched into workout gear, shoved my phone into the running pouch I strapped onto my arm, and stuck my AirPods into my ears before I headed on out again.
Six miles later, feeling more alive even if I was tired, I rushed back, quickly showered and changed into a pair of jeans and a loose linen shirt.
Slipping into some leather loafers, I waited on Gian to ring my buzzer as I poured some fish food into the large glass bowl that perched on what my landlord called a kitchen counter.
Barely done with that, the buzzer sounded, and I smiled at my perfect timing and grabbed my keys, wallet, and cellphone, then made my way out.
Gian, dressed smartly in a gray tailored suit with a cap, opened the door for me, then rushed over to the roadside where he opened the car door for me too. When I slipped into the limo, I was surprised to note that the privacy compartment was up, and it took a few minutes for my eyes to adjust to the darkness to realize I wasn’t alone.
Devlin was there, his legs outstretched, feet crossed at the ankle, broodingly looking into a glass he’d filled with some amber liquid.
The urge to go to him was strong, to take a seat at his side and to just... Damn, I didn’t know. I was still uneasy with affection outside of sex.
It wasn’t like I was a woman. Chelsea would have cuddled up at my side, nuzzled into me to try to jerk me out of my bad mood.
The thought made me vow to message her before the week was up because she’d been a good girlfriend, just a boring one, and she wasn’t a guy—that was hardly her fault. But thoughts of what she’d do and what I wasn’t sure if I should do had me hesitating even more.
“Didn’t expect to see you in here,” I said lightly, staying where I was for the time being.
This wasn’t a town car, but a full on limo, with bench seats down the sides of it. That was where he was. Perched in the corner by the little cabinet at the front where there was a small fridge—I’d explored it the first night I’d traveled in it.
“Long day. I only just got out of the office and didn’t feel like wasting time.”
Wasting time? With me?
I didn’t let hurt swirl inside me, not when the car started moving and he sank his drink back, then shuffled over the seats to sit at my side.
He didn’t stop until we were close together, until he was pretty much leaning against me, so I realized that I’d misunderstood him. Mostly I was just glad that he’d made the move to come closer to me. I wasn’t sure of my place yet, wasn’t sure what he wanted from me. I preferred to think of myself as being more reactive than passive, but still... it felt good to have him lean on me.
Cautiously, I raised my arm and sank it around his shoulders. He didn’t pull back, just muttered, “I hate people.”
I had to laugh. “They do suck sometimes.”
“They do.” His grouchy assertion amused me even more. “And they’re everywhere in this fucking city. Can’t get away from them.”
“Your office is pretty quiet,” I argued, willing to defend a city that I loved. That, like a friend, had helped me liberate myself. “Your apartment is too.”
“There’s a difference between quiet and being hemmed in on all sides.”
I snorted. “If you want to see what being hemmed in is like, you should have come up to my place.”
“Why did he do that?”
Hesitating at the off-topic question, I asked, “Who? My father?”
“Yeah. You lived somewhere else before he cast you out, right?”
“I did. I was in dorms for the first year, then a frat house. Things changed when I wanted to move out.”
“Why did you? Couldn’t you have stayed at the frat house? Or were they homophobic too?”
“They were better than my dad, but it was awkward, and I wanted a change of pace.” Sly glances, whispers, making sure to close the bathroom door when that had never been an issue in the past. Like I’d be salivating over their cocks now they knew I was into men.
“Was it worth it?” he asked sleepily.
“Coming out?”
“Yes. You seemed to have lost a lot.”
Even though he was right, I still smiled. “It was worth losing. What I gained more than makes up for it.”
He was silent for so long that I thought he might have fallen asleep. He sure as hell sounded tired enough, and it surprised me that I wouldn’t have minded. Traffic had picked up, so the forty-minute ride would probably take nearer an hour at this time of night, and if he was asleep, maybe he’d be able to relax later on, and I’d see that side of him he revealed to everyone but me. A side I craved without really understanding why.
Although, this conversation seemed to find him less on edge than usual, which, considering its start, I took to be a positive. Mostly, I just enjoyed being close to him, holding him. It seemed like a lifetime since I’d been this close to anyone, and it felt good.
Right.
Only, Devlin wasn’t asleep. About ten minutes later, he murmured, “Why am I happy to be with you and tongue-tied at the same time?”
“The mysteries of attraction,” I said lightly, realizing that he’d spent that time wondering what to talk about while I was content to let my mind drift as I held him.
“You’re not tongue-tied,” he accused.
“No, but I’m human. From all your creaking, I think we have to find you a heart is all.”
A sharp laugh escaped him. “You’ve been watching The Wizard of Oz.”
“And you haven’t? If you caught that reference.”
“My mother’s favorite musical,” he muttered disgustedly.
I squeezed him. “Awkward or not, grouchy or not, I like you, Devlin. You can relax. I mean you no harm.”
“The craziest thing about that statement is I believe you.” He shook his head, letting out a gruff laugh as he did so. “Maybe it isn’t the Tin Man I emulate, but the lion.” Then, he reached for my chin, tilted it just so and united our mouths.
It was the most enjoyable traffic jam of my life.
Fifteen
Micah
Rachel: Who the hell is so obsessed with feeding you?
The text came at the perfect moment. The elevator was unusually full of people. Normally, they tended to shed away as we headed for the upper floors of Astley Tower, but not today.
Unfortunately for me.
Squirreled away in the corner, trying not to think about that time at summer camp when—
Okay, no.
Just... no.
Focus.
Food. Rachel. Devlin.
He was my mystery feeder, and I wasn’t about to complain. Not when he’d sent me so many nice things over the last few days. And with every care package of food?
Coconut water.
I bit my lip to hide my smile, even though there was no one interested in here, everyone was focused either on their cellphone or the monitor that ticked away with every floor at a snail’s pace.
Me: Someone who realizes that I’m hungry all the time?
Devlin just didn’t know it was for more than Pad Thai. Though that kiss in the limo... Ugh. Starving. Yeah, I was definitely starving.