“Saw you and Micah go running off together this afternoon.” His mouth firmed into a line. “You were laughing. Don’t think I’ve heard you laugh like that ever.”
I blinked. “He makes me happy.”
“Can see that,” he agreed. “Made me happy to hear it though, to watch you together.” Awkwardly, he shifted on the seat, before he murmured, “Chase that happiness, son. Too much bitterness in the world. Don’t let yourself end up like your mother and I. Fools to the last.”
“You could have changed things—”
He cleared his throat, and for a second, his eyes were fixed on mine before he dropped them to his lap. “Not if—”
“Not if, what?” I groused.
“Not if I had other inclinations.”
My eyes flared wide as the ramifications of those six words hit home.
Was he telling me he was gay?
I blinked at him some more, then rasped, “No, that would change things.”
“Clarice never understood. How could she? Bitter, very bitter, you know?”
A million memories cascaded into being, and through them all, the sight of Father with Hendry was one that resonated.
“Hendry?” I choked out.
He cleared his throat again. “Loved him for forty years. Met him that last year I was in the army. Left the regiment with me.”
“He’s been your servant all this time!”
“All we could have together.” Uneasily, he patted the sofa cushion at his side. “Better than nothing.”
“The women? They were a front?”
He shrugged.
“Mother knew? Or was she bitter because of the cheating?”
“We never talked about it. She led her life, and I led mine.”
“I-I...”
It was official.
Now, two people had robbed me of speech.
Micah and my father.
“Just wanted to tell you, Devlin, that I think you’re very brave.” He coughed. “Glad times are different for you.” Then, his gaze turned to mine for the first time, and he murmured, “You could always have a surrogate.”
And like that, he popped the bubble.
Just as I knew, he always would. But for the first time in my life, I didn’t resent him for it.
Couldn’t resent him for it.
A life led tangled in a lie was no life at all...
So, because I was insane, or because he’d pushed me off the edge, I said the only thing I could:
“I’ll think about it.”
Thirty-Four
Micah
Two weeks later
As we strode toward the car, I peered at a moody coastline that I appreciated more than I could say.
The past two weeks had been interesting to say the least. I loved London, and knew that if Devlin wanted to move back here, I’d be more than willing. The city itself was incredible, and I loved the house, even if we hadn’t stayed there for more than four days.
The salty sea air brought with it the tang of Devlin’s aftershave, and as he lifted his arm to cup my shoulders, I moved into him as he leaned back against his Jaguar.
“You like Port Isaac, don’t you?” I asked him softly.
“We have property nearby. I used to spend summers here sometimes. Lots of good memories.”
My lips twitched. “You just made a good memory for me. I can’t believe you had Kyrian Trevelyan fly in just so I could meet him.” I shook my head. “Especially now everyone’s all over him.”
“I told him you were pivotal to making Twisted Love the success it was.” He shrugged. “Plus, I saw how happy it made you to meet Kurt when we first arrived.”
“So the plan to cheer me up is to let me meet all my favorite writers?” I grinned. “Serena Akeroyd’s a Brit. I wonder if you can arrange a meeting with her.”
“I didn’t know you liked smut.” He arched a brow. “The things we learn.”
I grinned at him. “Indeed,” I mocked, using his cut-glass British accent against him, “the things we learn.” I reached over and tugged on his lapel. “Please be advised that I’ll knee you in the balls if you call that kind of thing smut again.”
His lips twisted. “Advice taken and put into practice.”
“Smart move.” I frowned. “Didn’t you like Twisted Love?”
He shrugged. “Not my thing.”
“Funny that, considering you’re a romantic in your own way.” I laughed when his eyes bulged.
“Me?”
I nodded. “I did say in your own way.”
He still stared at me like I’d gone crazy—but maybe I had. For him. “Do you like the Classics?” he asked, his desire to change the subject coming across loud and clear.
“Why? Going to dig up Charles Dickens so I can meet him too?”
He snorted. “If memory serves, she lives in Yorkshire. Close to where the Bronte sisters were born.” He pursed his lips. “Top Withins is where Emily Bronte set the Earnshaw family house in Wuthering Heights.”
Interest sparked in me. “Really?”
He hummed. “If you want to meet her, I’m sure it can be arranged, and we can visit there as well.”
His easy compliance, his eagerness to make me happy, had me sighing as I burrowed my face into his throat. Coming to the UK had been an amazing idea.
I’d left New York feeling oddly isolated, trapped inside myself, and that goddamn claustrophobia rearing its ugly head because I felt as if I was the small space. No room to move, to breathe.
A few sessions with a counselor had told me it wasn’t for me, but it didn’t mean I wouldn’t try again when we were back in the States.
“Thank you,” I whispered, knowing that even if what happened with Rhode remained a dark blot in my memory, this time here, with him, a time of utter acceptance, would always outweigh it.
“For what?”
“Wanting to give me the world.”
He laughed. “The world is easy when your bank account is deep enough.”
I hummed. “I know that. How couldn’t I?”
He reached for my chin, cupping my cheeks before he pressed our mouths together. I sighed into his kiss, loving it and loving him as he whispered, “My heart isn’t easy. It doesn’t fit in a bank account. And for the longest time, it was in cold storage.” His smile was shaky. “It’s only right that the man who made it beat again gets all his heart desires.”
“And what if I said that all I want is you?”
His lips brushed mine again. “I’d say that can be arranged as well.”
“Good.” I pressed my forehead against his as the salty breeze whipped at us, making our coats flap around, dampening our jeans and boots. “I-I think I love you, Devlin.”
He rocked his head from side to side. “Only think? I know I love you, Micah.” His grin was quick. “I’m more patient than I was before. I can wait for you to know how you feel.”
I slipped my arms around his waist. “Would you do one thing for me?”
“Of course. Anything.”
“Meet my family? I know I said—”