I looked at my father. “Why wouldn’t you have said anything?” I asked him. “Someone might have been able to help you sooner.”
“I understand you’re upset, Griff. I am too.”
I looked up at my mom as she took my dad’s other hand, and I felt bad for getting mad. Yes, he was my father, but he was her husband. And I knew my mom loved him. I didn’t know what she would do without him.
“I’m sorry, Mom.”
“For what?”
“For getting mad. I had no right.”
“It’s fine. You didn’t mean it.”
I hung my head in shame and nodded. When I looked up, she had his hand against her face.
“Jeez, Mom, come and sit over here.”
“No, no. I’m fine.”
“You sure?”
“Yes.”
I scanned the hall. “Why hasn’t anyone come in to check on him?” I looked at the monitor. I wasn’t a doctor and didn’t know what everything meant, but I could see that his heart was still beating. “Shouldn’t they be moving him somewhere else by now?”
My mom looked at me, her eyes full of tears. “Honey, the doctor said your dad has already coded four times. He said his heart can’t take much more.”
“Can’t they do surgery or something?” I heard all the time about people getting triple bypass surgery. I’d even heard of a quadruple bypass.
She shook her head. “He needs to be stable before they can take him to surgery. And so far, they haven’t been able to get him stable.”
I studied my dad once more. “He looks pretty stable to me.”
And the second I said those words, the monitor flatlined and started to beep.
Thirty-One
Madeline
I left the conference room, ready to call it a day.
I hated Mondays. Every second dragged on, especially when the entire afternoon was meetings.
Sometimes, I wondered how they expected us to do our actual jobs when they put us in meetings all day.
When I got to my desk, the first thing I did was pick up my phone. I was shocked to see I had missed several calls.
Griffin had called me, followed by his mom and my mom.
I didn’t even wait to call anyone back. I grabbed my coat and purse and told my boss I had to leave early.
I called Griffin first as I walked to my car, but he didn’t answer, so I sent him a text before I left the parking lot.
I was just about to call him a second time when my phone rang. It was my mom again.
“Hello?”
“Honey, have you spoken to Griffin?”
“No. I tried to call him, but he didn’t answer. I’ve been in meetings all afternoon, and they won’t let us take our phones in.”
“Oh, honey.”
“Mom, what is wrong? I saw his mom had called too.”
“Madeline, Griffin’s dad died of a heart attack this afternoon.”
I sucked in a breath and slammed a hand over my mouth.
“Camile called me earlier to see if I knew where you were. Apparently, Griffin left the hospital, and his mom is worried about him.”
I was already crying, and it took me a second to steady my voice. “I’m on my way to his place right now. Since I’m driving, would you mind letting Camile know that I’m checking on him?”
“Of course, honey. I’ll call her right away.”
“Thank you.”
When I got to the bar, I went in through the back way. It had occurred to me to stop and talk to Griffin’s staff to see if anyone had seen him, but I would only do that if I couldn’t find him in his apartment.
I knocked when I got upstairs, but he didn’t answer, so I tried the door, and it was unlocked.
I slowly pushed the door open, wondering what I would find but I didn’t see anything. Griffin’s shades were drawn, and since it was winter, the sun was almost set, so the space was dark.
I gently closed the door, slipped off my shoes, and padded to the bedroom. It was just as dark in there, but I could see Griffin’s figure facing away from me on the bed.
I breathed a sigh of relief and sent a group text to my mom and Camile to let them know that Griffin was at home and safe. Then, I set my phone on his dresser and slipped into bed behind him.
I hesitantly put my hand on his back. “Griffin, I’m so sorry. I just want you to know that I’m here if you need me.”
Griffin slowly rolled over, pushed his face into my chest, and silently cried.
Sometime later, I woke with a start, unsure of why my body was on high alert.
And then I remembered.
Glen, Griffin’s dad, had died.
I had let Griffin cry on me for some time while I stroked his hair, and we must have fallen asleep. I had no idea what time it was. The only clue as to how late it might be was how hungry I was.
Griffin stirred beside me, his face still buried in my shoulder, and I froze. I honestly didn’t know what to do for him, and I didn’t want to mess anything up.
He lifted his head until we lay face-to-face on the pillow. Since I felt like there were no words, I put my hand on his cheek to let him know I cared.
The last thing I expected was for him to kiss me. Or for that kiss to explode into an urgency I had never experienced before with him.
As if we were on borrowed time, Griffin practically ripped off all our clothes until we were both naked. I felt like his hands had multiplied as he touched me everywhere. I didn’t know if he needed to feel that I was alive or if he wanted to make sure I was really there.
I understood that this was a reaction to his dad’s death. I understood that he needed to feel life and that this was his way of coping.
So, when he rolled me onto my back, I spread my legs and let him push his way inside.
He hadn’t spoken a single word to me since I had gotten here, but I ran my hands over his back and shoulders and told him to take what he needed from me. That I was there for him.
I only wanted to make sure he felt good.
But I should have known Griffin wouldn’t let things go down that way. He rode me hard, as if every pump of his hips was a way to exorcise his grief, but he didn’t use me the way he could have.
Every thrust was aimed right for my G-spot. After sleeping together for a month, he knew exactly how to reach it and how to make me feel good. And tonight was no exception.
I felt guilty, getting so much pleasure from Griffin when his father would never feel anything again, but he didn’t let up, and I knew I was going to be sore tomorrow.
When I lost the fight between desire and remorse, desire won. And as I cried out in pleasure, Griffin slammed home and poured himself into me.
We were both breathing hard and shaking when he lifted his head and looked down on me.
We had both barely regained our breath when he kissed me, and he grew hard inside me again.
Griffin grunted and began to thrust.
Thirty-Two
Madeline
The next morning, I pulled myself from Griffin’s bed, feeling drained and out of sorts. I grabbed sweats from his dresser and got dressed before shuffling my way to the kitchen in search of food. Any kind of food. I was so hungry; I didn’t even care if I made noise and woke Griffin up.