He let go instantly and backed up. “Oh good God, yes,” he breathed.
I didn’t laugh, even though I wanted to. A few minutes later, the horse was under control and I was taking her to the location where she was supposed to be making her acting debut. Poor horse. This was no place for her… or me. “I feel your pain, girl,” I said to her as we reached the spot I’d been pointed to. “Luckily for me, I’ll be out of here just as soon as I make sure my buddy is all right.”
The horse huffed some air right into my face as if to say, ‘you lucky bastard,’ and I laughed, stroking her nose.
“Well, well, if it isn’t Ho-down Jack.” The familiar voice behind made me still.
My whole body felt her behind me, the sound of her voice enough to bring back every aching, lonely moment of heartache since she’d walked out of my life.
It hit me all at once, like a kick to the chest, and I held my breath until it passed. Turning slowly, I saw her standing there, leaning against the pen’s edge and looking just as beautiful as I remembered. Just as heart-wrenchingly gorgeous. And that mask of hers was firmly in place as she pushed away from the fence to walk toward me.
No, strut.
Strut was the only way to describe the way she moved. This girl was sheer sex appeal—a month away from her hadn’t changed that.
I steeled myself against the ache, the longing.
A month away hadn’t changed anything. She’d left. Without an explanation, without a reason. Although, the reason had been easy enough to figure out. When push came to shove, she’d chosen Brandon over me. She’d chosen Hollywood and her manipulative father and the kind of wealth and glamor a guy like me could never provide.
That little reminder was enough so that I had my wits about me when she reached me.
“I guess what they say is right. You can take the cowboy off the range but…” She waved a hand, a hint of a real, rueful smile breaking through the facade. “Blah blah blah, I’ve never been good with those old sayings.”
I let out a short laugh despite myself. Despite telling myself that if I saw her again while I was here, I wouldn’t so much as smile. But now, here I was, returning her smile because I couldn’t not.
Not when she was looking at me like that. Like no time had passed. Like she was happy to see me.
Like she was sad to see me.
Everything I saw in her eyes echoed everything that I was feeling—that same confusing mix of affection and heartbreak and happiness and despair.
I ran a hand through my hair and took a deep breath. I didn’t even know what to say, where to begin. We hadn’t texted, we hadn’t emailed. She’d cut me out just as coldly as Brandon had, and the questions I had for her were wrapped up in layers of bitterness and resentment that left me with nothing.
I got nothing.
I didn’t want to beg her for answers. I wouldn’t be that pathetic. But also…
Why else was I here if not to get closure? With her. With Brandon. The thought of my best friend, who was on this set somewhere… There was one question she could answer. “Is he okay?”
A flicker of something I couldn’t quite read passed through her gaze before she gave a short quick nod. “He’s good. Brandon’s great, actually.”
She didn’t play dumb and she didn’t play coy, and for that, I was absurdly grateful.
She tilted her head to the side as I walked toward her. God, she was gorgeous. Her white-blonde hair was wrapped around her head in some sort of braided crown, and while Amber had been dressed like a slutty Annie Oakley, Lila looked like the picture of sweet wholesome innocence in a pale blue sundress and brown boots.
I took her in from head to toe, and when her lips parted and her eyes widened, I realized my mistake. I’d shown my hand.
Crap. One minute in her presence and I was back to being the lovesick moron who couldn’t get enough.
Nope. That wasn’t me. Not anymore.
Rather than pull her into my arms like I was aching to do, I reminded myself of just how she’d left me. For Brandon.
Crossing my arms, I gave her a smirk that had her expression hardening. “So, what role are you playing today?” I asked, eyeing her again like it was a joke. Like it didn’t kill me to be this close to her and not be able to touch her.
Her guard came up hard and fast. One second she was sweet and vulnerable. The next, she was smirking right back at me with lazy, hooded eyes. “Better question. What role are you playing, Jack?” She reached out and walked her fingers across my white T-shirt teasingly. “Better be careful how you dress on this set, you might just be mistaken for an extra.”
“Funny.” Sure, my Wrangler jeans and cowboy boots were more Pinedale-rural than Hollywood-chic, but there was no way I was going to change who I was just because I got on a plane earlier today. “Not all of us walk around playing a part,” I told her, throwing my arms out wide. “With me, what you see is what you get.”
She gave a disdainful little scoff. “Oh please.”
“What?” Sure, my tone was defensive, but hers was snotty, so it was called for.
She opened her mouth to speak, but we were interrupted by some chaos going on near the trailer closest to us, the one next to the horse pen where the guy I’d helped had gone to recover.
He’d recovered all right and was striding away from the trailer with a red face and… he might have been crying.
I cringed at the sight, looking to Lila to see she clearly shared my dismay.
Good to know. When it came to random people and their emotions, neither of us was down with public displays.
Shocker that Lila the ice queen didn’t do feelings, right?
I had this mental image pop up in my mind’s eye. It was a memory I’d been trying desperately to forget.
Alone in her room, tears on her face. A kiss.
Good Lord, that kiss.
She turned back to me so suddenly I didn’t quite check my expression, and I saw her eyes widen in surprise at whatever she caught there before I covered it with an arched brow. “You were saying?”
She blinked. “What?” Then she gave her head a quick shake. “Oh, just…” She sighed heavily. “You’re so quick to judge, Jack, but my bet is you’ve got more secrets than the rest of us combined.”
My stomach twisted into a knot so quickly it felt like she’d punched me. Did she know?
Did Brandon know?
That memory-turned-nightmare image of his father’s death. His father’s murder. It came rushing back to haunt me in broad daylight.
“Relax, Jack,” Lila said with a sniff. “It’s not like I think you’re evil or anything, okay? I just think you’re so… so…”
I searched her face, saw a flicker of pain that made my own chest twinge in response. “So… what?”
Her gaze met mine and held. “You think you know the whole story, but you don’t, okay? Don’t be so quick to judge, that’s all.” Her gaze flickered away from mine, locking onto something over my shoulder. She moved toward me like she was going to walk past but paused when she was by my side. “He loves you, Jack. And you love him. Just… try to keep your judgmental crap in check for a while.”
It was the most real thing she’d said during that whole interaction, and it clung to me as I watched her walk away. Toward Brandon.