They stood there. Auggie wiped sweat from his forehead. He still looked like he was trying so goddamn hard to smile.
“Do you want some water?” Theo asked.
“Sure.”
So Theo got him a glass of water.
“Do you want to sit down?”
“Do you want to sit down?”
Theo closed his eyes.
“I mean, whatever you want,” Auggie said. “That’s all I was trying to say.”
“Just sit down.”
So Auggie sat.
“Do you want a sandwich?”
“I don’t know. Have you washed the peanut-butter knife since the last time I was here?”
Theo stared at him.
Auggie took a sip of water. Then another. He smiled and said, “This is really good water.”
“Oh my God.”
“Well, I don’t know what to say! I mean, you were my best friend before I left, and then you started dating Cart, and I screwed things up because I stopped texting you, and then I screwed things up again by being a jerk when I got back, and I miss you so much that I don’t know what to do sometimes, and then I came over here to apologize and you made me drink a glass of water, and I honestly don’t know what to say!” Auggie took a deep breath and combed his fingers through his dark hair. “Ok. I know what to say. I’m sorry, really sorry, for how I treated you, and I won’t do it again, and I hope you’ll forgive me because I was serious about you being my best friend and I don’t know how to handle you being mad at me.”
Before he could do the next part, Theo had to chug the rest of the beer.
“That bad?” Auggie said. He looked like he was about to cry.
“I’m sorry too,” Theo said, wiping his mouth with the back of his arm.
Auggie blinked. “What?”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you about the car, but I shouldn’t have opened my mouth. I just thought—I mean, I know you like cars, and I thought maybe you’d appreciate it. I realize now that I sounded like a dick.”
“You didn’t sound like a dick. I was just being too sensitive.”
“And I’m sorry about Cart. I mean, I’m not sorry about dating him. Well, today, actually, I am kind of regretting it. But I’m sorry about how I told you. And I’m sorry if I made you feel like I didn’t want to be friends with you anymore.”
Auggie’s dark eyes were fixed on Theo, and as always, Theo felt the same dangerous, prickling heat in his gut.
“You’re kind of regretting it?”
“Oh no. We’re definitely not doing that.”
Then Auggie smiled, a real Auggie smile, the one that was so huge and innocent that sometimes Theo couldn’t believe it was real. “So, friends?”
“Friends.”
“Friends with benefits?”
“Auggie.”
“Kidding! Mostly kidding.”
Theo shook his head and cracked another White Rascal, and they moved out to the living room. Somehow, that opened the floodgates, and they both started to talk. Auggie told him about summer, about the weirdness of seeing his ex-girlfriend after he had come out, about his former buddies who avoided him, and about how they’d come crawling back when they’d seen the number of Auggie’s online followers surge. Theo found himself talking about his thesis, about short-distance hikes, about his visit home for Fourth of July. He got another beer and talked about things he was surprised he could talk about. He talked about Lana. It was like last year. In some ways, it was better than last year because it was so good to talk to Auggie, because Theo had Cart as a buffer, and he could laugh a little louder, lean a little closer, touch Auggie’s arm and leg and smile and have Cart like a safety net. He even heard himself talking about Cart.
“And then he still didn’t apologize. He just texted to say he’d ‘make it up to me.’ Whatever that means.”
Auggie’s face was unreadable. “It sounds like things are pretty serious. I mean, if you’re getting this upset over him. That’s not a bad thing. Just an observation. Are you in love with him?”
Theo groaned.
“It’s a fair question.”
“I don’t know. I mean, sometimes I think a part of me is broken, and—” Theo ran a hand through his hair. “And I should not have had that third beer because I was definitely never going to talk to you about Cart.”
“You can talk to me about Cart.”
“Nope. No.” He got up. His knee was still screaming at him from the long walk across town on Sunday, and it had stiffened up again while they sat. A few months ago, he would have been rattling his bottle of Percocet, but Cart had taken possession of the pills—or so he thought—and he was a stingy motherfucker when it came down to it. “Christ,” Theo said, massaging his leg. “I’ve got to finish the garage. That was the only project I wanted to get done before school started, and I didn’t do it.”
“I’ll help you.”
“Auggie, come on, it’s hot outside, it’s crappy work. You’ve probably got homework.”
“No, not today. Just tell me what you need me to do.”
“Absolutely not. You’d ruin your clothes.”
“So just lend me something,” Auggie said, already wriggling out of his shirt. He had small, dark nipples against the light brown of his skin. “There’s no way you should be doing that kind of work with your knee jacked up again.”
“I don’t want you doing manual labor for free at my house,” Theo said, trying to keep his gaze at eye level.
Auggie went limp, sprawling on the sofa like he was dead. “You are this unending tangle of drama. You know that right?”
“Ok.”
“I’m helping you because you’re my friend. That’s what friends do.”
“Auggie—”
“You let Cart basically rebuild your entire house.”
“That was—”
“And don’t you dare say it was different.”
Theo sighed. “I’ll get you some clothes.”
He limped upstairs, found a clean pair of mesh shorts and a Nirvana tee with Kurt Cobain on the front. He found socks and an extra pair of sneakers. Then he carried it all downstairs.
Auggie was already in his boxers.
Theo groaned. “We’ve been over this.”
“What?” Auggie said.
“You know what. We’ve already had this conversation.”
“Did you know your floor is sticky?” He lifted one bare foot to demonstrate.
“Since you apparently need a reminder,” Theo said, “please keep your clothes on at all times.”
“You’re so weird.”
“House rule: at all times,” Theo repeated, dumping the clothes he’d collected in Auggie’s arms.
Auggie just grinned a huge, goofy grin as he wiggled into the t-shirt. Looking down, he plucked at the fabric and said, “He’s kind of cute. Who’s he?”