“No,” Auggie said, catching his wrist. “I liked it.”
“This isn’t a good idea,” Dylan said. “You got hit in the head, and you’re, like, eighteen.”
“Nineteen,” Auggie said, and another wave of humiliation washed over him. He pulled Dylan’s hand over his dick and humped it lightly. “And I know what I like.”
“Yeah?” Dylan said.
“Definitely.”
Dylan hesitated. “Sorry, this is just—”
“Get up here,” Auggie said, “and let me touch your dick.”
Dylan’s little smirk was back as he climbed up onto the bed, straddling Auggie. Auggie touched him through the polka-dot shorts, grinned at the noise Dylan made.
“You’re huge,” Auggie whispered.
“Fuck yeah, little bro.”
Auggie heard the whimper in his throat.
“You like that?” Dylan whispered, his thumb tracing the outline of Auggie’s dick. “You want me to call you little bro while I’m pounding your pussy?”
Auggie swallowed. His face was burning. His whole body was on fire.
Dylan didn’t wait for an answer. He kissed Auggie. It wasn’t a great kiss—Auggie could feel that his own mouth was too tight, and it didn’t meet Dylan’s properly. Their teeth kept scraping. He bit Dylan’s lip, and Dylan swore.
“Ok,” Dylan said. “You’re shaking, and I’m bleeding. There is no way—”
“I’m just—I’m just really into you.”
Dylan’s eyes were flat as he considered the statement. Then he reached into his back pocket and pulled out a stainless-steel flask. “You need to relax.” He unscrewed the cap, took a drink, and held it out. Then his hand retreated an inch. “Never mind, you’re only—”
Auggie grabbed the flask and took a slug. It hit worse than the tequila, burning as it went down his throat, and it reminded him of the Pine-Sol his mom used to clean the kitchen floors. Coughing, he pushed the flask back and said, “What is that?”
“You’ve never had gin before?”
“No, I have.” But it hadn’t tasted anything like the floor polish he’d just drunk. “I have, honestly. I just—I mean, I wasn’t expecting it.”
Dylan shook his head.
“I like gin,” Auggie said. “Let me have some more.”
“You’ve probably had enough.”
Auggie took the flask and drank again, eyes open and watching Dylan. The heat of the alcohol ran through him. The ache along the side of his face faded a little.
Grinning, Dylan took the flask back. He had a long drink and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Then he crawled closer, grinding his erection against Auggie’s, and whispered, “You’re my little man, huh? Is that it?”
“I’m a man.”
“Yeah, you are. You fight hard. You drink hard.” Dylan’s mouth quirked. “Do you fuck hard?”
“If you’re lucky,” Auggie said, his mouth dry, “you’re going to find out.”
That made Dylan laugh. When they kissed again, it was better, and Dylan’s hand was confident and rhythmic as he jerked Auggie through the denim. Auggie thought of the last time he’d been in this situation, with Theo, the orgasm coming through him like it was jet powered. Tonight, he could feel it building again, although it wasn’t the same. His head hurt. His mouth was sticky. The kissing was going on for too long.
“Hold on,” Dylan whispered. He pulled a small plastic case from his back pocket, opened it, and took out a pill. Placing it under his tongue, he watched Auggie carefully. He was very still for a few moments. Then he held out another.
“What is it?”
“Molly.”
“Oh. Cool. Molly.”
Dylan burst out laughing. “Oh my God. You’re such a fucking kid, it’s adorable.”
“It’s just, I don’t do, um, harder stuff.”
Eyes half closed, Dylan rubbed against Auggie again, his movements slow and languid. “Oh yeah? My little bro doesn’t do drugs?”
“Maybe, you know, some weed. I guess.”
Dylan made a noise that could have meant anything.
“I just, um—it’s just not really my thing.”
“It’s molly, bro. It’s not like I’m doing cocaine. People who do this, they do it because it opens up your mind. It’s therapeutic. And it’s a spiritual experience, ok?”
“Right. That’s really cool. I just don’t—I don’t know.”
Dylan stopped moving. Then he slid off Auggie’s lap, landed on the floor, and returned the pill to the plastic case. Auggie watched him.
“Look,” Dylan said, “you’re a sweet kid. It was cool how you thought you had to stand up for me. But I’m looking for someone who’s at the same stage of life, you know? I’m too old for games, and I’m too old for one-night stands. I mean, you’re adorable, but you’ve never even had gin before. Tell you what: let’s find you a nice kid who’ll blow you tonight. I’ll be your wingman.”
“No,” Auggie said.
Dylan rolled his eyes.
“I know who I am,” Auggie said. “I know what I want.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Just because I haven’t had as many experiences as you, that doesn’t make me immature. And it doesn’t mean we’re at different stages. People mature at different rates. I really feel like we connected.” He had planned out a million different versions of this speech, and it was coming out now, words that he thought he’d use another night, another place, another man. “The fact that you’re older just means you get to share things with me that I haven’t tried yet.”
“I really think—”
“I want to suck your cock,” Auggie said. “And then I want you to fuck me.”
“Ok, fine, but it’s weird if only one of us is having a spiritual experience. That’s what sex is about for me, Auggie. It’s about connecting as souls. I don’t just want to ride your pussy and put you away. This is about you and me becoming one.”
“That’s what I want too,” Auggie said. “That’s exactly what I want.” Then, working his jaw, he hesitated. “I’d really like it if you could, you know, help me through it on molly.”
“I don’t want to pressure you.”
“You’re not pressuring me.”
“I don’t want you to do something you’re not comfortable with.”
“I’m not uncomfortable. I can feel how strongly we’re connecting. I want you to guide me through this.” And he couldn’t say, my first time, through my first time, I want you to keep me safe because it’s my first time.
Dylan hesitated. Then he breathed, “God, you are fucking gorgeous. Do you know that?”