Still gasping for air Mila grins and reaches out to touch me.
“I have a surprise you tomorrow, Tess.”
Taking her hand in mine, I press a kiss to the back of it and laugh. “What is it?”
She frowns. “It’s a surprise.”
I laugh a little. “Okay then.”
“I’ll tell you all about it in the morning, I promise you.”
Placing a kiss to the inside of her thigh then licking the skin there, I smile. “Okay.”
“You’ll love it, Tess.”
I’m absolutely certain I will.
Mila
TUGGING ON MY CLOTHES and ensuring that they are as tidy as possible, I pause for a moment and absorb the gracious melody of Erik Satie’s “Gymnopédies” which floats from the record player. Smiling, I observe Tess as she makes her way back in front of the canvas, where she always is…
The afternoon has felt particularly long today although I’ve only been here for a few hours.
Taking one step after the other, I descend to the next floor of this home and proceed forward toward the next flight, as I usually do before I head out the door, but something makes me pause… The floor creaks beneath my shoes when I shift my weight and my eyes scan all the doors—some open, some closed—which line this massive corridor. I take another step forward toward the second flight of stairs but then I pause again.
“Don’t do this, Mila.” It’s a warning I speak to myself and one that I do not heed.
Spinning to my left, I head down the massive corridor, peeking in door after door—a library filled with books, an office which smells of cedar—a closet. The light dissipates the further I move along this floor and when I get to the end of the corridor I linger in front of another door. I stare at the doorknob for a long while before I send my hand toward it and count to five in my head before I decide to twist.
With a creak it opens.
The sunlight which hits my eyes nearly blinds me and it takes a moment for my sight to readjustment. Squinting and swearing silently to myself, I force my eyes to open again and gasp at the contents of this pretty room.
Four walls painted yellow.
A white crib.
A rocking chair.
The most beautiful quilted blankets are strewn about everywhere.
I know what it feels like to lose someone you love too…
Confusion wrinkling my brow severely, I step inside and allow myself a closer look. I circle the room, examining items and touching things. I drag my fingers along the hand-carved crib and when I pull it away I frown to find it is covered in no less than an inch of dust! In fact, everything in here is covered in dust and most of the furniture is falling apart.
How long has this all been here?
I pull my hand away from the edge of the crib like I had just touched death and back away as quickly as I can while ensuring I don’t make any unnecessary commotion and when I make it to the door, I shut it behind me quickly, closing out whatever that was, wanting to forget it all right away.
Yet, knowing that I never will…
~
LATER THAT EVENING…
I stand near the water’s edge absorbing all the pristine blue that reminds me so much of Tess’ eyes as the waves roll in.
Brushing the loose strands of my hair away from my face, I pull the wad of letters I’d written to Fenna from my satchel and test the weight of them. There must be at least a hundred letters that I’d written since I’d left home all those months ago in their own envelopes here. I’d already written the mailing addresses on all of them and left no return address for obvious reasons.
I whirl around to find Evi tosses a stick in Sadie’s direction. Barking, Sadie darts for the stick, retrieves it and then gives it back to Evi. I laugh at their little game and then return to staring at the bundle of letters in my hand. I breathe in the salty breeze and look around a bit more at all the people which walk along the water’s edge this evening as the sun falls and the sky descends into varying shades of peach and blue. It is beautiful—something worth painting. Ever since I’d met Tess, I make it a point to find beauty in everything even if it doesn’t seem to be there at first glance. And this evening the sky is wondrous. For a moment, I wonder if Tess is staring out of her window at it all.
My eyes fix on the postbox a few feet away.
I want you to find the courage to send those letters so that every day for the rest of your life you don’t ever have to look back and regret that you didn’t…
An odd sound crawls from my throat before I dare to even move my feet. Pressing my lips together and forcing myself to have a lot of courage, I rush across the cobblestone street, twist the heavy metal handle of the postbox, yank it open, drop the bundle of letters in and except that I will not have any regrets.
“Are you ready, Mila?” Evi’s voice earns my attention.
I whirl around to face her.
Sadie is already licking my hand, so I dip down and give her head a scrub.
Evi’s brows crash together. “Tess seemed quite happy today.” She shifts all her weight to one hip then fiddles with her hair when the wind makes it messy. “She seemed quite upbeat about tomorrow too.”
“Oh, that’s good to know.”
“Yes, she’s was in such good spirits this afternoon that she decided to double my weekly wage.” Evi still looks perplexed and I can’t see why she does after receiving such a blessing.
I laugh. “Well, that’s wonderful news, isn’t it?”
“Yes.” She bobs her head nonstop. “Yes, yes of course, it’s wonderful news.”
“Then, what is the problem?”
“I’m not quite sure, Mila, but I guess I was just confused about some of the things she said, especially about painting Scheveningen Beach on some occasion this week.”
“Oh.” My brows dip down to my nose.
Evi freezes completely and then a sudden smile shows up on her face followed by a gentle laugh. “It’ nothing, Mila.” She waves me away playfully. “I just thought that Tess had moved on to nudes that’s all.”
“Yes, she is painting nudes right now but she’s an artist, Evi.” My brows arch. “And artists are free to sort of do whatever it is they want when it comes to their work. Don’t you agree?”
“Yes, of course.”
I look around a bit—up at the sky and out toward the sea, absorbing all the scenery before meeting Evi’s eyes once more. “We should get back home.”
“Yes, we should. Especially since dinner will be served soon.” Evi sets off.
I follow.
So does Sadie.
FOUR
Tess
I TRACE A FINGER over the page, in awe of what I know to be a massive painting which now hangs in the Uffizi Gallery in Florence, Italy. I admire the woman in the painting along with the auburn strands which tumbles around her. She stands in a giant scallop shell after emerging from the sea fully-grown. At her left is the winged wind god, Zephyr, who blows breath which acts as the wind in her direction and sends her long hair with it. Zephyr is carrying another woman who also has wings and she blows breath toward the woman who stands in the seashell too, but she’s clearly using less force than he is. It is believed that these efforts are what helped the giant seashell’s journey toward the shore so that the woman could be born. Another woman in the most beautiful floral dress stands to the right and is holding a cloak for the nude woman who stands in the seashell.