Dinner was an experience to say the least. Killer kept looking at me with hard eyes. He wanted to say something but remained quiet. I’m not sure what his problem is tonight. If he doesn’t want me here, he shouldn’t have moved my things in without asking me about it in the first place. So, I eat my dinner in awkward silence since I have no clue what to say to him, before heading to bed. There’s not much else I can do at this point. Apparently, Killer and I have a lot to work out if I’m going to stay here.
Waking up this morning, it takes a few minutes for me to remember the events of yesterday. Including the awkward dinner with Killer. I didn’t hear him come upstairs last night. Apparently I was tired and passed right out. This morning I’m filled with nervous energy as I realize what I’m about to do. For the first time in my life, I’m going to share my story with other people. Not anyone I know because I’m not sure if they want to know everything I’ve been through.
In my meeting, I’ll be sharing my story with the members of my group and the counselor I’ve been seeing since arriving in Benton Falls. Denise, the counselor is amazing. She never pushes me to talk in depth about things. However, lately she’s been pushing for me to discuss things with the group. I’ve attended the meetings for a while now and I’m slowly realizing I’m not alone in what I’ve been through. However, my story is also different from theirs.
Getting out of bed, I complete my morning routine of showering and getting ready for the day. I leave my long hair down after brushing it out. I don’t bother with make-up because I have no clue how to do it the way the other women do theirs. So, I head out to my room and grab a pair of jean shorts Sam talked me into buying along with a tank top supporting the Phantom Bastards. Once I’m dressed, I put on my sneakers and head out.
Walking in the kitchen, I see Killer standing with a steaming cup in his hand as he leans against the counter. He’s only wearing a pair of grey sweatpants with his hair down. I think it’s the first time I’ve ever seen his hair down. My fingers itch to run through the strands and see if it’s as soft as I think it is. Tattoos cover Killer’s body and I want to touch them; to trace them with my fingers and look at his skin up close.
I don’t peel my eyes from his body until I hear him clear his throat. Heat fills my face at the thought of being caught staring at my crush.
“Mornin’,” his husky, sleep filled voice almost growls out.
“Good morning. Just wanted to let you know I’m heading out. I’ll be back in a few hours,” I inform him as I turn to leave the kitchen.
“Sparrow, you need to eat somethin’,” he growls, stepping away from the counter. “I’m goin’ upstairs, so you have the kitchen to yourself. Later, we’ll go shoppin’. For now, grab whatever you find.”
Nodding my head, I wait for Killer to leave the room before I move. Once I hear his door shut, I grab a bowl of cereal and sit down at the island in the middle of the room. I quickly devour my food so I can head out. These meetings are important to me and I need to be on time, so I don’t get locked out. Especially today.
After rinsing my bowl and placing it in the dishwasher, I head out. My purse and keys are on a table just inside the door. Picking them up, I make my way out to the car I’ve been using since getting here. Fox got it for me once I passed my driving test. They wanted to make sure I had a reliable car to use while getting around town. Fox is the one who does regular maintenance on it. While he’s got it to work on, I always have a loaner car from somewhere. I don’t ask too many questions because it’s not my business. If they want me to know something, they’ll let me know.
Leaving Killer’s house, I make my way into town. It doesn’t take me long to get to the community center on the opposite side of town. We always meet here while Denise has her office in a building right downtown. Today is always a busy day at the community center because so many different programs are going on.
After parking my car, I remain in my seat for a few minutes. My hands are tight on the steering wheel as I try to convince myself to head inside. When I finally pry my hands away, they’re shaking and I can feel the sweat coating them. My heart is beating faster than normal, and I feel as if I’m going to be sick. Finally, I get out of my car and slowly head inside. I feel as if I’m walking to my death instead of facing a room of women who have been through similar things as me. It’s too bad I’m so consumed with my own thoughts I don’t see someone following me inside the building.
Chapter Two
Killer
I SET MY alarm to be up early this morning. Gwen doesn’t think I know where she’s going this morning, but I do. She’ll be heading to the community center for her weekly meeting with other domestic violence survivors. I’ve followed her several times since she started going to the meetings.
I had to set my alarm since sleep was almost non-existent for me last night. When Gwen walked into the kitchen in her pajamas, I almost swallowed my tongue. She was wearing a pink pair of pants with a matching tank top. What she wasn’t wearing was a bra. I could see her nipples poking through the thin material of her top the second she walked in the room. Gwen had no clue what I was looking at either. She simply doesn’t think about those things. That’s how innocent my girl is. There was no way in hell I was about to call her out on it. I want Gwen to feel safe around me. Not as if I can’t handle seeing her in her damn pajamas.
Dinner wasn’t the easy meal I’d been hoping for since it was her first night in our home. It was awkward and filled with tension in the air. Tension so thick I could’ve cut it with my knife. Gwen didn’t know what to do either. I could see her mind working as she tried to figure out what to say to me. She never says a lot to me unless she has to. The only thing I get out of her is her blushing from head to toe. Last night showed me her chest does in fact turn red when she blushes.
This morning, I stayed still for as long as I could while her eyes roamed my body. Gwen’s eyes landed on my tattoos as they always do. She’s always looking at tattoos on everyone. Especially me. I’m not sure if it’s because she wants one or if she simply likes looking at the ink marked on everyone’s skin. I’m not going to complain about her eyes being on me though. I’ll take whatever look she wants to give me and let her look her fill when I can.
Yes, I’m a selfish fuck and want her eyes always on me. I want to be the only man she sees and get to know my body only.
There is something different about Gwen this morning and I need to know what’s going on. She’s nervous and fidgety without even realizing she’s playing with her fingers or the necklace resting around her neck. It’s something Kim got her shortly after she moved here, and my Sparrow never takes it off. At least not that I’ve seen and I’m always looking at her.
Making a split-second decision, I head up to my room so I can get dressed. I don’t bother with taking a shower because I already did that at some point in the early hours of the morning. After making sure my hair was up and I had everything I’d need for the day, I carefully waited until Gwen left.
With my bike, I need to give her a slight head start so she doesn’t see me following her. It’s not as if I don’t know where she’s going so I can afford to be a few minutes behind her. As I pull in the parking lot of the community center, I immediately zero in on Gwen’s car. She’s still sitting behind the wheel as I park my bike in the far corner of the lot under a tree. From where I’m standing, Gwen is lost in her own pain filled world. I want nothing more than to rush to her side and take that pain away. To carry the burden from her and carry it on my shoulders.