“And you think this is the right moment to test this? Lila, his father is dying!”
I settled down next to Riley, removing myself from her hug. “You think I’m being a bitch and inconsiderate.”
She gave me a sharp nod. “Yes.”
There was a pang, an ache in my chest. “Sheesh, thanks for the honesty.”
“I’ll call you out when I think you deserve it. But I think there’s something else in your head that you’re not telling me.” Riley’s eyes hardened and her lips thinned. “What happened that day, when you found out Bianca was pregnant?”
“I left Maddox,” I croaked.
“What happened before you left him?”
I saw the look in his eyes…
“I’m tired. This was a long day, and I need some sleep.”
Riley let out a deep, exhausted breath and threw her arms in the air – I give up.
She was letting it go for now, but I knew I couldn’t run away from this conversation for long.
One week later
The doorbell pinged behind me, as I was cleaning the last table. I threw a look over my shoulder, calling out to the late customer. “We are closed!”
The sign clearly said we were closed, why did people still walk in? I never understood that. At least twice a week, we’d get customers, past closing, who would guilt us into serving them.
“Hi, Lila.”
My back shot up straight at the sound of her voice. I squeezed my eyes shut and took a deep breath. Bianca was the last person I wanted to see after the shit week I had.
It’s hard to watch your soulmate walk away. But it’s even harder to walk away from them.
I never thought leaving Maddox would be easy, but I definitely didn’t think I’d suffer this much. Our relationship had never been all sweetness. It was pretty roses with sharp, ugly thorns.
Yeah – that was the side effect of falling in love with my best friend.
The last week was pure agony. Maddox was always on my mind. I worried tirelessly for him. Every day, about twenty times, I’d almost give in. The urge to run back to him was strong.
Sometimes, I’d call him late at night, when I knew he was sleeping and wouldn’t pick up his phone. I’d hide my caller ID and let the call go to voicemail. Just so I could hear his deep, baritone voice.
I did it once. I did twice.
And then it became a habit.
I couldn’t sleep without hearing his voice.
This obsessive need for Maddox grew every day. How could I say goodbye to him when my heart was still so desperately trying to hold on to him?
I faced Bianca, and the moment my eyes fell on her, I felt a sharp pang in my chest. Damn, that hurt. Her belly was swollen and bigger than the last time I had seen her. I could even see the swell over her baggy sweater. She cupped her pregnant belly, and I fought back a flinch.
This was the reminder I didn’t want. Maddox was going to be a… dad. But not the father of my kids. The heat rose to my face, and my heart catapulted in my chest. The first wave that hit me was anger. Then envy. Resentment. Finally, it was longing. A surge of emotions brewed inside of me, threatening to spill over. For the first time, since I found out Bianca was pregnant with Maddox’s child, I felt an overwhelming sense of… jealousy.
I crossed my arms over my chest. As if to barricade my heart against her presence and her words. The last thing I wanted to do tonight was talk to my ex’s baby mama.
“I didn’t expect you to seek me out on your own,” I said, a bitter smile on my face. It seemed I couldn’t control my emotions lately.
“I’m sorry,” she spilled out, looking quite flustered.
I cocked an eyebrow. “Are you scared of me, Bianca?”
She swallowed and looked around the empty restaurant, nervously. It was only the two of us in the dining area. The other two employees were in the back, cleaning up for the night. “No. Yes. Maybe. You’re a… little intimidating. Sometimes. Especially right now.”
“Just say what you have to say. I don’t have time to play games. And please, don’t give me that I’m innocent bullshit look. Save that for someone who’ll fall for it.”
Bianca started rubbing her swollen stomach, as if to soothe the baby. I had to remind myself that she was pregnant, and I had to rein in my psychotic side.
“I didn’t want to come between you and Maddox. That wasn’t my intention,” she murmured, biting on her lips.
But she did. Except, I couldn’t fault her, really.
I rolled my eyes, looking indifferent. But every cell inside me was raging, hurting, breaking. “Why didn’t you tell Maddox when you found out you were pregnant? Why wait until you were six months along?”
“I was… worried and scared. I didn’t know…”
“But you had to tell him the moment our relationship became public,” I seethed.
“No,” she stuttered. What a fucking liar. “I talked to Maddox. I told him you guys didn’t have to break up. We can make it work…”
I raised my hand, halting her words. “I don’t need you to speak to Maddox for me. Maddox and I have been friends, way longer than you’ve known him. I know him better than anyone else, and he knows me better than he knows himself. If we want to figure this out, we will. We don’t need you to play mediator.”
Bianca nodded, looking teary eyed.
“Anything else?”
Her gaze flitted past my head, and she avoided looking at my face. She chewed on her lip, before whispering, “Maddox and his parents are going back to Manhattan. Brad wants to be in the comfort of his own home.”
What…?
Oh my God.
I stumbled back against the table, my knees growing weak. He was leaving. Maddox was leaving, and I didn’t know…
My lips parted with a silent cry, and my fists clenched.
Bianca put the last nail in the coffin when she confessed her next secret. “He asked me to come with him. He said… he wanted to be there for the rest of my pregnancy and when I give birth.”
“What about… his exams?”
“He dropped out for the rest of the academic year.”
My emotions throttled me, and barb wires twisted around my lungs. I couldn’t… breathe. Oh God. This was hell. Pure, absolute hell.
How… how did it come to this?
Oh, right. I left him.
And now he was leaving, going far away, and out of my reach. My lungs caved in, my stomach dropped… and the butterflies? They just died. The emptiness left a hollow ache inside of me. The silence that came with the aftermath; it was louder than any sound.
I swallowed back a cry and turned away from Bianca.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. I heard her feet shuffling away. The door opened, the bell pinged again, cold air washed inside the empty restaurant, and then she was gone. As if she was never here.
As if she hadn’t just trampled over my already broken, bleeding heart.
This had been my doing; yet, it still fucking hurt.
It hadn’t been an easy decision, but this was what I wanted for Maddox.
For him to grow up, for him to accept responsibility…
For this unborn baby to have a decent father.
I walked away for Maddox…