I fumbled with my belt buckle, pushing my jeans down as I stood. In one frantic thrust, I was inside her, fucking her hard. She wrapped her arms around my neck, holding tight as I took her. Frenzied. Grasping. Gripping her hips and slamming into her. She dug her nails into my back and I hissed at the flash of pain.
“More,” I demanded, flinging her leg over my arm and sinking deeper into her.
She cried out and clutched at my hair, gripping my bicep in order to hold on. Sweat poured down my back. Her nipples, hard little pebbles, rubbed against the coarse hair on my chest. I grunted and cursed, chasing the orgasm building within me. She whimpered, arching and meeting my thrusts, pleading and begging. She gasped when I pulled out, flipping and lifting her over the back of the sofa and sinking into her from behind, the angle deep and mind-blowing. She was hot, wet, and so tight around my cock, it was strangling me. I fucking loved it.
I wrapped an arm around her waist, anchoring her to me. I dropped my face to her neck, licking and biting her skin, whispering all the dirty thoughts I had into her ear.
“You are so fucking tight, Fee.”
“You like this angle, baby? You like me taking you like this?”
“I want you to come all over my cock, Fee. Drench me.”
I slid my hand under her and pressed on her clit. Her bud was as hard for me as my cock was for her. It was what she needed. She spasmed, her orgasm hitting her hard. She cried out, my name falling from her lips as her pussy clamped down on my cock.
Ecstasy hit like a tsunami, engulfing me—obliterating everything in its path. I came hard, gripping her fiercely, growling her name and riding out the intense sensations with my head resting on the nape of her neck, my mouth pressed to her skin, and my cock buried in her heat.
Moments passed before I could lift myself away from her. I pressed long kisses along the ridge of her spine, easing myself away. I ran my hands along her back, stroking the soft skin of her shoulders. “Okay, love?” I asked, helping her to straighten. She sighed, leaning back into me, and I wrapped my arm around her waist, feeling the aftermath of her shivers. I pulled the hair away from her face—at some point I had yanked out her hair clip—and pressed a kiss to her neck.
“Fee?” I asked, worried. I had lost myself with her, forgetting how small and delicate she was. “Are you okay?”
“Mm-hmm,” she murmured, leaning into me.
I chuckled. “Did I fuck all the words out of you?”
She giggled, her hand drifting up to cup my cheek. “I think so.” She turned, facing me. “I need to go get cleaned up. You made a mess.”
I began to chuckle, then froze as the reality of her words hit me.
I hadn’t used a condom. No wonder I had been in such a frenzy and she had felt so fucking good.
Without a word, I picked her up and rushed down the hall. In the shower, I turned the water as hot as I thought she could take and pushed her onto the shower bench. “Open up, Fee,” I commanded, grabbing the handheld unit and directing the water at her. “I need to get this out of you.”
I knew I was acting irrationally, but I couldn’t stop myself. “There’s a pill, right?” I demanded. “A pill you can take in case I got you pregnant?”
She gazed up at me, scared and confused.
“I forgot, Fee. I forgot a condom. I swear to you I’m clean, but I—”
She stilled my hand and shook her head. “I’m clean too, Halton. And I can’t get pregnant.”
“What?”
“We tried early on in our marriage. And again later. Nothing happened. Scott was tested, and the results showed he was fine. More than fine—his sperm were active and fertile. The tests concluded it was me. We never conceived. Another way I failed him.” Her voice shook. “It was best, considering how it has ended anyway.” She cleared her throat. “I can’t get pregnant, so you’re fine. We’re fine,” she assured me, her eyes luminous with tears. “I need you to calm down, please.”
I sank to my knees in front of her, cupping her face, the steam billowing around us. I recalled her saying they never had kids, but she never explained it further. For some reason, my heart broke at the sadness in her eyes.
“You would have been an incredible mother,” I murmured. “But you didn’t fail him, Fee. He failed you on so many levels.” I didn’t add I was glad she didn’t have any kids—not because of how I felt about them—but because I didn’t want her attached to him in any way.
“I guess, in the end, we failed each other.”
I shook my head in disbelief. No matter how much of an asshole he was, no matter how badly he had hurt her, she was unable not to include herself in the blame.
I pressed a kiss to her mouth. “I’m sorry, Fee. I overreacted.”
She stood, picking up the shower head from the floor. She ran it over my shoulders, the heat hitting the small scrapes left by her nails. I hissed at the sensation but somehow enjoyed it, knowing she marked me.
“Stand up, Halton. Let’s get clean. We can get dirty together again later.”
I stood and took the shower head from her. I caught her in my arms and kissed her. I kissed her for many reasons. For the incredible sex. For the way she soothed me. For not getting upset at my overreaction. For the pain she had suffered because of Scott, and for the bad memory I had brought to life because of my carelessness.
I kissed her because I wanted to.
Because she was Fee.
We finally ate the lunch we had dropped by the door, and the rest of the day was quiet. Fee was more withdrawn than I was used to, and I blamed myself and my reaction earlier. I had spoiled an incredibly epic sexual moment for us. Still, she smiled and responded when I spoke to her, laughed in amusement as I read her one of Rene’s funny texts about being held prisoner again, and asked me some more questions about Dads Seeking Justice.
“Do you ever help women—the mothers who are getting screwed over?”
“Yes. All the time.” I scrubbed my face. “I volunteer with the group because it seemed there were fewer lawyers wanting to help the fathers. I also volunteer at a group for women, but there are more lawyers willing to put forth the effort there. So I spend more time with the dads group. If I’m needed at the other, I go there or the women can come to me. All free, of course.”
She didn’t meet my eyes as she shook her head.
“What?”
She lifted her shoulders. “I think you’re remarkable. But if I say that, you’ll make some offhand remark to disagree with me, so I will keep my opinion to myself.”
I chuckled because she was right. Except…
“I like knowing you think highly of me, Fee. I admit I don’t think I deserve it, but I like it,” I confessed.
“You really believe you are an asshole.”
I remained silent.
“Scott is an asshole,” she stated. “He treats people terribly. You treat people, even the lawyers you go up against, with respect. Scott doesn’t know the meaning of the word. Fighting for your clients, living your life with no apologies, doesn’t mean you’re an asshole, Halton.”
I had no words to offer her. At times, her quiet observations astounded me.
She laid her cheek on her hand, studying me. “Why you think you’re such a terrible person, I don’t know. I think there is good in everyone.” She sighed quietly. “In fact, I’d go as far as to say, there is a little bit of perfection in everyone.”