I shut my eyes with a groan. When I looked toward Becca, expecting anger, she met my eyes with her warm blue ones filled with amusement. I relaxed and grinned.
“Both.”
“Maybe I can add that to my resume.”
Bentley joined us with a frown. “Resume? You aren’t going to need one of those, Becca. You say the word, and you’re part of BAM. Forget The Gavin Group.”
Richard grabbed at his chest. “I loaned her to you. And now you’re stealing her? Where is the loyalty?”
Bentley chuckled. “All is fair in love and war . . . and business. You trained her too well, Richard. She is already invaluable to us.”
Becca threw up her hands. “She is right here, gentlemen. I think I have a say in the matter.”
Maddox threw a wink in my direction, tilting his head. “What say you, Becca? Here with us, or back to BC with them?”
I expected her to roll her eyes and refuse to answer. Her reply made my day.
“Toronto has some unexpected, added benefits,” she murmured. “So, at this point, I’d have to stay.” She met my eyes, quirking her eyebrows and making me grin.
I was the added benefit.
Richard groaned. “I give up. I can’t compete with love.”
Everyone laughed and looked at me.
I froze to the spot, locked in shock.
Love?
Reid
Getting married. Passport. Mortgage. Added benefit. Love.
Added Benefit.
Love.
The words kept swirling around in my head. I couldn’t dislodge them.
I stood, locked in place, until Aiden turned and called to me. “Quit staring at the view, kid! We got plans to make!”
Shaking my head, I joined them and acted as natural as I could. Becca knew something was wrong. She kept looking at me, trying to get close, but it was impossible. Bentley had a list he wanted made. Maddox kept throwing out numbers. Aiden was talking about protocols. Richard was all over the place, making notes about the campaign, instructing Becca on items he wanted covered. It was all either of us could do to keep up with them.
In the SUV, Aiden sat beside me in the back, his questions endless. I heard the constant murmur of Richard’s and Becca’s voices as they talked. Bentley was paying close attention to something Maddox was telling him, both of them serious.
We separated when we got to the office, everyone dispersing to handle the tasks they needed to do.
I sat at my desk, making my way through my list. My phone buzzed with a message from Becca.
Are you okay?
I replied quickly.
I’m fine.
My phone rang and I picked it up, seeing her extension on the display panel.
“Hey.”
“Fine usually means not fine.” Becca’s worried voice hummed in my ear.
“I have a shit-ton of stuff to get done. I’m okay, really.”
“You looked as if you’d been hit by a Mack truck. When I came over, what were you discussing that was so serious?”
I wasn’t sure whether it was okay to say anything about Maddox and Dee, and I decided to check before I told her the news. As for the rest, I wasn’t in the mood to share all the snags my former life was currently throwing in my direction. I had no one to blame but myself. Whining about it would do me no good and would only remind Becca I wasn’t good enough for her.
“Ah, just a bunch of things they want done. Don’t worry.”
She sighed. “I know you’re stressing over things, and what Richard said—about love? He likes to tease, and it was a general statement.” She dropped her voice. “Please don’t think any more about it.”
The question was out of my mouth before I could stop it. “Am I the added benefit?”
My office door shut, and I looked toward the sound. Becca stood there, her phone to her ear. She lowered it, then spoke directly to me.
“You’re the best benefit I have ever had. You’re my favorite part of this job and this city.” She looked at me beseechingly. “I don’t expect anything more than you want to give, Reid.”
Tossing my phone onto my desk, I was out of my chair in a second and crossing the room. She moved, meeting me partway, both of us reaching for the other. I yanked her close, covering her mouth with mine, needing her on so many levels. The taste of her mouth. The feel of her body pressed close. The silk of her hair under my fingers. It didn’t matter that we were at work or that we were crossing a line we had drawn. I needed her. I needed all of her to ground me.
I pulled back, leaning my forehead to hers. “BB, you’re my favorite everything. Don’t doubt that.”
“Don’t be upset with me.”
“Oh God, I’m not. I promise. His words just hit me.” I cupped her face, looking down at her. “I don’t know how to love, Becca. No one has ever shown me.”
She started to speak, but I shook my head to silence her.
“I feel something for you, more than only physical, and I want to see where it goes. But I can’t put a name to it.”
“You don’t have to,” she whispered, laying her hands over mine. “We’re just starting, Reid. And this is new for me too. We have so much to discover about each other. About being us.”
I brushed my mouth over hers. “I like being part of an us.”
“I like being part of your us.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes.”
I kissed her again and stepped back. “Tonight, Becca. I need to be with you tonight. I know we have dinner and more plans, but when we’re done, I need you and me alone.”
“Me too.”
“Okay.” Wanting to lighten the air, I winked. “Now out of my office before I call HR and report you.”
“For?” she asked, raising her eyebrow.
Shocking her, I grabbed her and pulled her close. I kissed her hard, long, and deep.
“For making me ridiculously happy.” I spun her around and urged her to the door. “Please go before I show you exactly how happy and really give Richard something to talk about.”
She was laughing as she left.
I adjusted myself and returned to my desk. I hadn’t lied—I had a ton of work to do for all three partners, and I needed to concentrate.
Still, the words swirled and the dark thoughts kept pricking at the edges of my mind. I tossed my glasses onto my desk and hung my head as the thoughts became too loud to ignore.
No passport meant no travel. Becca wanted to travel. Even if I was able to get one, there could still be places that would restrict my entry. I wouldn’t be able to be part of that aspect of her life.
Bad credit and a prison record meant trouble getting a mortgage. It had taken me a long time to find a place willing to rent to me. The thought of having to go through that process for a different apartment was daunting, never mind the almost certainty of being turned down for a mortgage.
Unless . . .
I dismissed the thought before I had even finished it. Using my skills to beat the system and push through an approval would only prove that Becca’s father was right and convicts never changed. I couldn’t allow myself to do that. If Becca ever found out, if the guys ever found out, I would lose the trust of the people I cared about the most.