“So you split?”
“Yes. He walked out.” She laughed, the sound bitter. “When I found out it was a girl, I went to see him. I thought he would see the ultrasound picture, realize what he was missing, and we’d try again. I was still in denial about his real self.”
“I assume that wasn’t what happened.”
“No. When I told him, showed him the picture, he informed me he didn’t need another weak, clingy female to look after. He told me to get rid of it.” Liv’s voice shook. “He looked at a picture of his daughter, a tiny little being growing inside me, and called her an it. As if she was nothing. As if I was nothing. Right then, I realized how stupid I was being even wanting to give him a chance. I walked away and never looked back. My lawyer sent him papers, and he signed away his rights.” She wiped at her cheek. “Last I had heard, he left town. I have no idea where he is, and I hope never to see him again.”
“Bastard,” I growled, looking over at Sammy. How could anyone walk away from their child? It was inconceivable to me.
“I can’t believe I told you my sob story. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I asked.” I wrapped my hand around hers, holding it tight. “I think you’re amazing, Liv. Sammy is a great kid.”
She stared down at our hands. “What are you doing here, Van?”
Our eyes locked.
“I don’t know,” I admitted.
“I can’t-I can’t do this. I don’t date.” Liv slid her hand from mine. “I like you, Van. I think you’re wonderful. But only as a friend.”
I felt a frisson of sadness at her words. I heard the pain and finality in her voice.
I also heard regret. Somehow, it made her words easier to take and made me push a little more.
“I don’t date, either, Liv. But we can be friends, right? Maybe grab a sandwich and an ice cream with Mouse on occasion?”
“I don’t want to confuse Sammy.” She moved her fingers restlessly on her lap. “She likes you, and she tends to become attached.”
“I like her. I don’t plan on going anywhere, Liv. We’re friends already, and we can stay friends. The occasional sandwich or ice cream isn’t going to confuse her.” I played the best card I could think of at the moment. “Men and women can be friends. Hang out on occasion. Surely, you want her to understand that?”
She paused.
“I love kids,” I admitted. “I like her. I would enjoy seeing her every so often, if you wouldn’t mind.”
“I sense there’s a story there.”
I nodded, not meeting her eyes. “Maybe one day I’ll tell you.”
She was quiet for a moment, seemingly contemplative. “Maybe one day you will.”
She turned and faced Sammy again, ever watchful. I copied her posture, my head filled with thoughts, swirling with odd emotions.
All of them stemmed from the pretty woman beside me and the child laughing across the playground.
I knew Liv knew how to drive but didn’t own a car, so I drove them home, the feeling of regret pulsating in my chest as I pulled up in front of her building. I had enjoyed the simplicity of the afternoon and their company. Both of them. I didn’t want it to end, even though I knew it was for the best.
Liv was cautious. She had to consider Sammy, and I understood her trepidation. I understood that more than my own desire to spend time with her. Get to know what made Liv tick. It made no sense. I wasn’t in the market for a relationship, but somehow my heart hadn’t gotten that message.
I was more confused than ever.
Liv
I watched Van drive away, still unable to believe we’d spent the day with him. It didn’t seem real. He didn’t seem real.
From the moment I met Van, he was larger than life. And not only his size. Tall and broad, he was a wall of muscle. All his shirts stretched tight over his wide biceps. His preferred denim overalls hugged his torso and showed off his tight ass. His waist was thick, his long legs powerful. The first time I had seen him, I’d stepped back as a shot of alarm tore through me. Then I met his gaze. Warm, kind, and calm, his deep brown eyes showed the compassionate soul that lurked under the massive build. His handshake was gentle and his voice soothing. He put me at ease right away and had never given me any concern to be wary of him.
I had never seen him lose his cool. He handled every problem or issue that occurred with the same patient mind-set he had shown Sammy earlier.
The longer we worked together, the more my admiration for him grew. He was thoughtful, concise, and could build or create anything. His talent was endless. He treated his crews with respect, and they worked hard in return. He expected nothing less than the best, and he led by example. He wasn’t the kind of manager who sat back and let others do the work. He toiled as hard as his crews, if not harder. He was a great listener, and a supportive coworker. Working with him was a pleasure, and I enjoyed our interactions.
Another added layer to his talent was his music. I had gone with some people from the office to hear him play at a bar one night. Watching the way his fingers coaxed the haunting notes from his guitar was enthralling. I felt his passion as he played, lost in the nuances and scope of the song. He stayed in the background, seemingly content to let others take the spotlight, but I was unable to take my eyes off him. The lights cast shadows on his face and highlighted the glints of silver in his hair and scruff. His muscles rippled as he played. A small, sexy grin curled his lips.
And when he sang…
I thought my heart would explode in my chest. Low, raspy, and sensual. Filled with passion and desire, his voice made me feel things I hadn’t felt in years. It created a sense of longing that left me breathless.
Now, when I could, I went to see him. I never told anyone, and he didn’t know I was there. I would sit in the back, cloaked by the darkness and listen, filled with my own longing I knew would never be resolved.
I would never risk myself that way again.
Sammy tugged on my hand. “Come on, Mommy!”
We walked into the apartment building, and Sammy ran to her room. I heard her talking to her dolls, telling them about the park, lunch, and the bookshelf Mr. Van had drawn for her. I made a cup of coffee and sat at the small kitchen table, sipping the brew and thinking more about the day.
Lunch had been fun, Sammy, of course, being her usual direct self when talking to Van. He was wonderful with her, always answering her questions, and responding with humor.
He had leaned forward at one point, asking me if I was okay since I had been quiet. I was surprised he had noticed, but I hastened to assure him I was fine.
“Yes, of course. I was, ah, thinking about the design I had been working on.”
“Well, lunch will be here any moment. Forget about work and enjoy the day.”
“Then we go to the park!” Sammy exclaimed, grinning as she lifted her head from the place mat she was coloring with the crayons the waitress had given her.
Van grinned at her, his eyes twinkling. “The happy place.”
The waitress slid my grilled chicken salad in front of me and handed Sammy her new favorite—a bacon and grilled cheese sandwich. My eyes grew round as Van’s lunch appeared in front of him. Two double grilled cheese and bacon sandwiches along with French fries, a salad, and coleslaw filled his plate.