“Is the father stepping up?” he grits out.
I shrug. “With money, but it’s not money I want.” I sigh. “I want him to step up and look after me and his child. Tell the world that we’re his.” I shake my head. It’s the most I’ve told anyone. “But he’s scared.”
“Of what?”
“Losing everything. If he stepped up, he’d lose everything else around him.”
“You’re worth it,” says Vinn, kissing my hand. “I’d give up everything to have you. He’s crazy for not seeing that.”
Chains’ eyes burn into us from across the bar. “Why does the heart always want what’s not good for it?” I ask.
Vinn grins. “Because your heart is stupid. It knows nothing,” he jokes and I smile. He stands and straightens his jacket. “When Chains finally admits his feelings, nothing will stop him from getting to you. He’ll get there eventually,” he whispers. I stare after him in shock as he walks away. I know Gia wouldn’t have told him the truth.
CHAINS
Three days into lockdown and I feel like I’m in hell. Everywhere I look, Leia is there. Frankie and Raven convinced her that she didn’t need to hide her pregnancy, so she’s since lost the baggy jumpers. Now, I’m not only taunted by seeing her everywhere, but I get to stare at the evidence of my baby growing inside of her.
Raven strokes her fingers down my arm and it breaks my daydream. “The longer you sleep in my room, the more you convince everyone that we’re together.”
“That a problem?” I grunt.
“Yes. It’s cock blocking me. It’s upsetting Leia. Nothing good is coming from it.”
“I said I’d look after you and that’s what I’m doing. If Cree gets a sniff of us not being together, he’ll be on my ass about Leia.”
“I’m surrounded by gorgeous men who might want to help look after me. They won’t look in my direction with you around,” she says. “I have the perfect excuse to play damsel in distress.”
“Like Vinn?” I quip and she smiles wider.
“Just like Vinn. He’s going to give me a job, a chance at making a career for myself.” Vinn helps women who come from disadvantaged backgrounds. He owns hostels and pays for college tuition. The guy’s a hero and I fuckin’ hate it.
I roll my eyes. “He’s such a fuckin’ saint,” I say sarcastically and Raven giggles, causing a few heads to turn our way.
“Leia said the father got a bit heavy when she last spoke to him,” says Raven. I stare at Leia, who’s tickling Ziggy over on the couch. He’s laughing and thrashing about and I want to tell her to watch so he doesn’t kick out and hurt her. “Except he isn’t the father, is he,” she continues. I glance at her. “Because you are.”
“Keep your voice down.” I sigh. I don’t have the energy to deny it.
“You’re such an ass,” she hisses, hitting me lightly around the head. “That girl is so in love with you and you’re treating her like shit.”
“Riggs will slit my damn throat,” I whisper.
“Don’t be such a pussy. Claim your woman and tell him to fuck off.”
“It ain’t that easy,” I mutter.
“Vinn offered her a house and protection. She could take that and you’d never see her again.”
“It wouldn’t happen,” I say firmly.
“Or worse than that, she could stay here and bring that baby up whilst you watch on from afar.”
“Look, I don’t know what I’m gonna do, but I’ll sort it somehow.”
“I can help you,” she says excitedly. She sits up straighter like she’s just come up with a master plan. “I’ll get you back together.”
“It’s not getting back together that’s the issue. If I wanted Leia, I could get her,” I say confidently and Raven scoffs. “It’s everything else I’m worried about. Like him, for a start,” I say, pointing towards Riggs.
“Again, pussy,” she states. “Man up. No woman likes a man who’s scared of her brother,” she says.
“I’m not scared. I’m the fuckin’ enforcer. But I respect him, and breaking that was a shit move and he’ll kick my ass then kick me out. The club is my life,” I mutter.
“Wow. You’re choosing the club over Leia and your child. Maybe she is better off without you.”
Her words cut deep. It’s nothing I haven’t said to myself already. I don’t want to lose the club and I don’t want Leia to lose the club. She’d be choosing me and I’d be choosing her and that leaves a whole lifetime of just us. It should be enough, I know that, but deep down, I’m worried it won’t be. She needs Riggs and Frankie. Then there’s Anna and Eva. Raven doesn’t get it. Why would she?
“The first step in all of this is for you to tell Riggs. It might not be as bad as you think. He might take it really well.”
“I said I'll sort it, Raven. Stay out of it.” I stomp off towards the exit. I need air.
Leia comes outside soon after. She glances around and then comes closer. “People are guessing,” she whispers. “What if Riggs guesses?”
“What are you talking about?”
“This,” she hisses, pointing to her rounded stomach. I’m so desperate to touch it that I physically have to ball my fists to stop myself. “Vinn guessed you were the father. Others might guess too, and then what?”
“He couldn’t have just guessed, Leia. Someone must have told him. Who knows?”
She shakes her head. “No one.”
“Don’t lie. I’ve known you too long for that bullshit. Who?”
“Just Gia, but she—”
“Gia!” I repeat. “No wonder Vinn knows. Jesus, Leia, can’t you keep anything fuckin’ quiet?”
She recoils at my words and her expression hardens. “You know, if people find out, it makes no difference to me. It’s you I’m protecting, you ass.” She storms back inside. If Vinn knows, he could use that against me.
I head back inside and reach behind the bar for a large bottle of bourbon. Lockdown pisses me the hell off and I need to get wasted.
I’m vaguely aware that I’ve neglected Raven tonight. She doesn’t seem to care. Every time I look over from my seat at the bar, she’s talking with a different guy. Who can blame her? She’s everything I should want in a woman, and yet here I am, thinking about Leia and how the fuck do I put everything right between us.
“Chains, carry Leia to bed. She can’t sleep hunched up like that on the couch,” says Frankie.
Cree stands. “I’ll do it,” he says quickly, but Eva pulls him to sit back down.
“Just wake her,” I mutter, taking another drink.
“You ever woke up a pregnant woman? Leia is a beast when you wake her, add in those hormones and you’d have to be stupid.” Frankie stares at me expectantly. I glance at Cree, who is hissing words into Eva’s ear.
“Fine,” I huff.
I carefully scoop her into my arms. She doesn’t even stir as I lift her. Is that normal in pregnancy? I hate that I don’t know the answer to that. I take her to her room and lie her gently on the bed. I pull the sheet over her legs and stop as my eyes fall onto her stomach. Gently laying the sheet at her waist, I place my hands on her stomach and feel it. The baby shifts and everything inside of me warms. It’s an indescribable feeling that takes my breath away.