“Why not?” Dalsharan asked with more demand.
I sighed. “Fuck, can't you just let me enjoy my cookie?”
“Ravyn, tell me,” Dal urged gently.
I stretched my shoulders. “Civilian humans aren't as accepting of who I am as soldiers and fae are. And my father was a governor, everyone knows me in the big towns.”
“What does that mean?” Dal's voice went low and dangerous.
“It's nothing, okay? I left that behind me, and I just prefer to stay away from it.”
“You left what behind you?” Dalsharan growled.
“Ridicule,” I finally snapped in irritation. “Bullying. Beatings. You want to hear more? Or can I just fucking eat my cookie?”
Dal sat back and gaped at me. “People hit you for preferring men?”
“Oh, wow, you fae really are a lot more open-minded,” I murmured. In a louder voice, I said, “Yes, Dal, they hit me. Except it was more like a gang of boys cornering me in an alley and beating the shit out of me because I dared to look at one of them with my faggot eyes.”
Greskal flinched back and cursed as if he'd been hit.
Dal just let out a long breath. “What else?”
“You want a list of every bad thing that's ever happened to me?” I huffed. “No. I'm not doing that. I had a few rough years and then I joined the Hawk Army and shit got better. Besides, those bad things made me who I am. Assholes like that are the ones who turn faggots into soldiers.”
“Do not ever say that word again,” Dal said sternly.
“It's just a word. A word that made me strong. I could go into any town and hold my own now. Hell, I could probably leave them crying. But it's not worth my time or the chance that I might get in trouble for it. They're just ignorant assholes.” I shrugged and grinned at Greskal. “I didn't even miss the cookies till now.”
“Well, fuck, son, have all the cookies you want.” Greskal pushed the plate toward me.
“Those primitive bastards,” Dalsharan hissed. “The Goddess determines who we desire. By hurting you, they insult her.”
“That's just the way it is in the big towns,” I said gently. “I might have gotten away with liking guys in a country village, or if my father hadn't been Governor. But everyone knew my parents, and they had to be respectable.”
“There is nothing disreputable about desiring men,” Dalsharan growled.
“So you left?” Greskal asked gently. “That was very brave.”
I snorted. “I wasn't brave until I got trained on how to defend myself. That's when I realized that I could be the strong one.”
“Bravery isn't about being strong. It's doing what's right, even when it scares you,” Dalsharan laid a hand on my shoulder and rubbed his thumb across my neck.
“And leaving home at sixteen must have been very scary,” Greskal added.
“I got kicked out. They wanted me to marry the daughter of one of my father's friends. So, I made sure I got caught in a compromising situation with a guy.” I grinned. “No woman would have me after that.”
“Your father kicked you out of your home for some boyhood indiscretion?” Dalsharan asked in horrified amazement.
“No, my mother did,” I whispered.
It had been 10 years but that still stung, and I hadn't realized how much until I said it aloud. I tossed my half-eaten cookie on the plate and sipped at my tea. The chocolate was turning bitter in my mouth.
“By the Moon,” Greskal murmured. “What kind of mother rejects her child like that?”
Dalsharan's hand slid down to mine and wove our fingers together. I looked over at him and he met my stare steadily.
“This is your home now, and the Hawk Sidhe are your people. You will never be turned away and never be looked down on for who you love or how you want to love them. And if anyone dares to hurt you again, I will shred them into pieces and drop those pieces in the Bellor Sea for the sharks to feed on.”
A smile slowly spread across my face as I stared at him. “That's the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me. I'd make your enemies into shark bait too, babe. In a fucking heartbeat.”
Dalsharan grinned.
“Cookie?” Greskal held up the plate.
I laughed, took my discarded half and another cookie for good measure. “Don't mind if I do.”
“So, I hear you saved Dal's life?” Greskal smoothly changed the subject before we started cooing at each other again.
“Kind of.” I shrugged.
“Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that, Dalsharan,” Greskal went serious.
“Yes?” Dal prompted.
“Are you able to tell me how exactly the Farungal got two soul stones?”
“The Lion Lord and Coyote Lord were drugged,” Dalsharan explained.
I straightened; I hadn't heard this yet.
“Drugged?” Greskal asked. “Both of them? It seems farfetched that one warlord would have a traitor in his midst, but two?”
Betrayal, a memory whispered through my mind.
“They don't believe it was a traitor. They think a Farungal snuck into camp and tampered with the warlords' food, then waited till they were unconscious, crept into their tents, and took the amulets.” He glanced at me. “Yet another reason for me to eat the same food as my men.”
We have been betrayed, the memory played on.
“Hold on, they managed to get past an army of soldiers, into the cooking tent, then into a warlord's tent twice?” I asked. “Greskal's right, that's not possible.”
Dalsharan scowled. “There is no human or faerie alive who would betray a warlord to the Farungal. A traitor is far more impossible than a Farungal sneaking into camp. A Farungal could have used magic to conceal or disguise themselves.”
I chewed my cookie and looked at Greskal. He shook his head at me. It looked as if I wasn't the only stubborn one.
“It's not possible,” Dalsharan said again.
I took a fortifying sip of tea then said, “I have to tell you something.”
“What?” Dal growled.
“Before you get mad, you need to understand that I thought it was just a memory. I didn't think they were talking to me right at that moment cause I wasn't touching them. But now—”
“Who?” Dal demanded.