I didn't want to admit it, but I was having wet dreams about that moment with Brianne. I could still taste her sweetness on my tongue and hear her moan while struggling to not lose it.
When she came, I enjoyed every bit of satisfaction it brought me. I felt...alive, which was odd to describe. It wasn't like hugging, kissing, or holding Bri's hands didn't give me that level of fulfillment, but there was just something completely sensational about tasting a woman's juices as they caved and writhed from your tongue.
I never in a million years thought I'd be bold enough to do it. I wasn't the type to watch X-rated movies and such, but there were a few that I'd stumbled upon during those nights when I simply needed something to get me out of the mood whenever Bri turned me on that emphasized how pleasing it was to a woman to be 'eaten up' by her man.
I don't think the guys knew I'd watched much stuff. I knew for sure they most likely did, even Finnick, who didn't project himself as the typical male to watch those things since he'd rather paint or sleep. But for me? It was maybe three times a year before my feelings for Brianne began to grow while I allowed myself to start falling for Finnick.
Last semester seemed to be the most taunting because I couldn't help but grow hard at the sight of Brianne in bikinis or anything, really. I was a bit grateful we didn't study as often as we used to, for I was positive I wouldn't have the same resistance as before.
I'd want to hold her, touch her, feel her, tease her...lick, suck, bite, kiss...fuck.
My hormones were going on overload like they just woke up from hibernation from my teenage years and decided this was the semester to really screw my mind with nothing but lustful desires for my girlfriend and boyfriend.
Adding my growing emotions and desires for Finnick, I wasn't sure how long I'd last before I couldn't resist anymore.
Why am I even resisting?
It left me wondering as I thought of the gemstone around my neck. I hadn't shared with the others about the God of Wisdom, hoping to do so later today or this week. It amazed me that I was worthy of carrying such a piece of power, and I wondered what it all meant.
So far, Jax, Finnick, and I had stones. I wasn't so sure with Brianne because that prism crystal Finnick had witnessed during the confrontation with her on the mountain had faded away.
None of us had seen it with her, so it very well could have been temporary, but who knew. As for Connor, he hadn't shown any hints of such a thing. He was far more honest on most occasions and would tell us if something popped up, like the gemstone, but I couldn't blame him due to the fiasco with his dad and the emotional overload he dealt with a few days ago.
Maybe if I brought it up, we'd speak about it.
Until then, the goal was to relax and prepare for what was to come. There would be times for physical training, but this break was surely there to help us emotionally and mentally recover.
We deserve the break. No one can say otherwise.
A yawn left me as I finally decided to open my eyes. The dancing hues of the flames in the fireplace proved to be the culprit of the flowing warmth coming my way.
It was becoming tempting to fall back asleep once more as I stared at the flames and took in the scattered game cards we'd been using to appease our slight impatience in waiting for the others.
Feeling the stiffness on the right side I'd been sleeping on, I decided to turn over and stretch before attempting to get off the floor. I surely had to be tired to have fallen asleep on the fluffy rug.
Turning over, I immediately froze as Finnick's face was mere centimeters from mine. I hadn't even taken into consideration the heat coming from behind me, and this was my surprise - or reward.
I should have sat up or maybe inched back to give his sleeping figure space, but all I could do was stare at his peaceful expression as he breathed slowly in and out. He looked in such a state of tranquility while the soft glow of the flames from the fireplace only made him look more immaculate in my line of vision.
I appreciated the way his pink strands had hints of teal and white that I hadn't really noticed. It was mere fragments, but it left my imagination soaring at the idea of Finnick having two-toned strands.
His hair was growing far faster than I think we all realized, and I could already recall the past when he cut it super short before revealing that his mother was dead from cancer. Even reminiscing about the heavy past Finnick had dealt with throughout our years at Witchling only proved how damn strong he was.
Everyone always underestimated him, and even we sometimes did without realizing it. He didn't just have potential. He could be a force in vast areas if he was determined. Last semester I barely had to help him with anything, only one or two questions here and there when I came home late from practice.
I was sure he would have asked Brianne, if anything, seeing how close they had gotten last semester, but he'd really grown beyond the limitations placed on him, even with the heartaches that wished to silence his strive towards graduation.
While I continued to get lost in my thoughts, I reached out to gently move a few strands from his face. I hadn't been this close to Finnick's face to see how smooth his skin was.
Or how soft his lips are.
I had to bite my own as if it were an automatic response of control, my desire to suddenly kiss him growing by the minute.
Compared to before, I was going to beat myself up for my hesitation. I was trying to slowly adapt to this, to slowly be okay with the idea of kissing Finnick when I wished.
I'd give myself props for making progress with Brianne. Maybe that engraved fear of being seen was still trying to lift its ugly head in our blossoming relationship, but I'd continued to fight it.
It may take twenty-one days to create a habit, but I'd make sure to break it with continuous effort. I'd trained myself enough now in so many other areas.
I can certainly train myself in this, as well.
Taking a nervous gulp, I was about to close the distance between us before Finnick stirred. "Too hot," he muttered and literally pushed me away before turning on the other side as if we were on a bed.
I frowned at the unconscious move as I watched him pout his lips before his eyes further squeezed and slowly opened. It took a minute of blinking and the furrow of his brows for him to turn his eyes to the side to acknowledge me.
"Hmm?" A few more blinks and a yawn had him looking clearly at me now. "Kaito? Why you frowning like someone broke your heart?"
"You broke my heart," I grumbled and sat up.
"Did I?" Finnick questioned as he sat up and stretched his arms. "Well, shit. I better start looking for the pieces and glue it back together before Brianne hears about it."
He had a valid point, but I felt a bit disappointed in my delay. Deciding to discard it, I noticed how dark it was outside. "I'm sure the others are back by now."
"Probably," Finnick replied. "But maybe they're having some alone time or something. Jax did mention something about wanting to treat Red."
"He always wants to treat Brianne," I countered, cracking my neck before attempting to get the knot out of my shoulder.
"He's madly in love with her," Finnick casually replied as he went on his knees and began to shuffle over to me. "Besides, they were married in their last lives so I guess that connection of reincarnation runs deep."