I took a deep breath and allowed it to flow out of my nostrils.
"The darkness is scary. I'm frightened by it...and for the longest time, I couldn't dare admit that to myself. I'm afraid of the darkness not because of its qualities, but because I've never been able to accept that I'm worthy of being able to balance the light and the dark," I finally confessed. "There are good and bad times in this world for a reason. It's not just to make us struggle and feel the agony that's brought with pain and loss. We fall because we need to get up and rise. We struggle on the path of our dreams because, without such challenges, we'll never admire just how much we want something. If success was as easy as picking an apple from a tree, we'd all be able to do it and life would be...boring. We wouldn't appreciate how hard it was to reach that tallest point of the branch to grab the apple. Or the previous multiple efforts taken to grasp what our eyes envisioned would be in the palm of our hand. We'd never think about the steps it took to reach the tree or even the very first sight of that apple from afar that made us wish to taste its delicious sweetness."
I opened my eyes as more tears fell down my cheeks, and I smiled at the black palette above me.
"You can't appreciate the big things without the little things. I can't reach everything I'm dreaming of without being grateful for the steps that got me there. There'll be times where I'll trip, fall, or start from the beginning, but it'll only make reaching the top more satisfying. I forgot all of that in the process of being lost in my own expectations. I was blinded by that, and the fear of starting from square one. Of losing it all. Now my dream is further away than it originally was. I didn't realize that my dream hasn't moved away from me. It's in the same spot. The same height and distance that it was when I started with bursts of stamina. What changed was my resilience, my determination to start again and achieve that same distance. I made it seem longer. Dragged it on like I had double the distance to achieve, and in the end, all of that made me an utter fool. I’ve lost sight of what I was so obsessed with and focused on the boiling emotions piling up within me because of how much I wanted everything to just go right."
I finally allowed my tense shoulders to sink as the weight I'd been carrying on them began to fade away and leave me in a state of relief.
"Does that mean you still fear the darkness?"
I took my time to answer as I stared at his back before closing my eyes to allow myself to truly be surrounded by the hollow world.
"No," I whispered. "The darkness is merely an element. It's no different from light, fire, water, or any other magic. It's the most misunderstood element in all areas of magic, and it’s only defined as evil because it forces us to face what we don't want to deal with."
It was the honest truth, and I could finally say it. "Darkness forces us to seek out all the ugliness we bury inside ourselves. To confront the demons that we run away from every chance we get while wallowing in those emotions we all hate to deal with: the anger, the sadness, the moments of defeat. Everyone loves to be happy, in love, and ecstatic for everything that's supposed to come our way, but no one likes to shed tears, be frustrated or angry, or acknowledge that not everything is obtainable."
I allowed myself to smile, feeling the hints of pride that finally peeked out of the flood of anger, sadness, and disappointment that I'd allowed to consume me for weeks on end. The threads of anxiety were being cut while the sheets of fear were being torn out of the book that held all my dreams.
With this revelation, I was finally allowing myself to be free. Allowing myself to seek the answers I've always dreamed of retrieving.
"I'm not afraid anymore, and if there comes a time when I am, I know I'll have the support and knowledge within myself to get through it. I'll experience all these emotions and more, and in return, I'll be able to see the twinkling light that seeks my refuge. I'll see the starry sky and eventually watch the sunrise that will reward me with a sight of victory."
Opening my eyes slowly, they widened to double their size as I took in the miraculous sky full of stars, while the first set of rays of sunlight cut through the navy-blue surface.
I was speechless as the streams of light grew and spread, the sunrise beginning to roll in like time was on fast forward and I was witnessing something pre-recorded. As much as I wanted to think it was an illusion, I had no doubt in my mind that this was real. This was that spectacular light moment that I'd craved, and here I was, experiencing it.
"You've achieved your victory, Kaito."
The man turned around to face me, and when his eyes met mine, I almost lost all feeling in my legs. He smiled at my reaction as I corrected my stance, my body trembling as flowing tears streamed down my wet cheeks.
The orange glow of the sun washed over him, just as the breeze suddenly passed us - carrying a perfect amount of warmth compared to the frigid chill from before.
His purple eyes sparkled with tiny bits of stars, reminding me of the milky way or a galaxy, while bits of silver and white surrounded his irises. He had pale skin, an oval-shaped face, and slightly flushed cheeks. The tranquility he carried in his expression was beyond words.
With one glance, you knew this man carried wisdom beyond words, but that's not what shook me to my core. His smile showed his perfectly white teeth as he slowly nodded his head as though he could see my resolve.
"It's always shocking to see your future self, isn't it?"
All I could do was slightly bob my head, which made him chuckle as he turned around to look at the rising sun.
"Come stand next to me, Kaito," he encouraged, and it was as though his encouragement had removed the shackles that had held me in place from the very beginning.
I walked steadily to stand on his left side, the two of us watching as the sun continued to rise into the sky as the evidence of night continued to make its fateful retreat.
"How is this possible?" I whispered the question.
"Well, when you let logic leave your space, you invite the streams of magic to enter your life and bring you some advice in the best way possible," he replied and turned his head to look at me. "Impressed?"
"Bewildered," I whispered. "You look too good to be me."
That had him laughing before he shifted his stance to face my side. I turned to face him as he sighed and gave me a proud smile.
"Well, let's just say that the future will bring you more challenges that you'll have to overcome to get to this very point in time," he admitted, but he didn't seem the least discouraged by it. "Graduation is only the beginning for you, but you've overcome one of the hardest trials you'll face. There will be minor ones and a few hiccups on your path ahead but let this interaction between us remind you that this," he paused to gesture to himself, "is all possible."
"Does that mean..." I wanted to ask but hesitated because I wasn't sure if I was ready for the answer.
Instead, he snapped his fingers, and hovering above the palm of his right hand was a crystal necklace. It was a gem that seemed to be a mixture of sapphire and amethyst, the surface carrying sparkles of glitter. It was obvious that it held intense power within it.
He reached out for my hand, lifting my left hand up and lowering the jewel into the palm of my hand. The touch caused my magic to spiral through me, and for a nanosecond, I saw an image that made me smile in pure happiness.