I need to tell them there are more coming.
My eyes desperately looked up into Brianne's, and though I couldn't hear what I fought hard to say, the realization of my words made her eyes widen before she turned her head to assess the urgency of this situation.
She gritted her teeth then, and my eyes began to grow heavier while I watched the way her aura danced with immense strength. It was growing bigger while the colors of vibrant golds, oranges, and pinks were suddenly tainted as black surged through her aura.
My poor innocent flower.
I hated this moment. I was completely vulnerable while my friends were in danger of being consumed by chaos. None of this should be happening. Our lives shouldn't always be threatened by this kingdom who dared to control our realities.
What words could possibly describe my frustration? What sentences could be structured for the Universe to listen to our constant pleas for peace? Why, whenever we got a moment's grace, did something happen to ruin it all?
If we were going to be given challenges left and right, why not make it consistent rather than this up and down nonsense?
That was how my life was. It had always been a constant play on my emotions. One step forward on the path of happiness, two steps back with constant challenges surrounded by death, heartache, and sadness.
Whenever I was happy, something came to fuck it up, and the acknowledgment of that made me want to give up. To throw in the towel and just be done with this.
I'm so fucking tired. When will this end? I want peace. I want to be able to love my girlfriend and boyfriend and be surrounded by my friends without the hidden anxiety that someone will come and ruin it all. Why is that so hard, Universe?
Brianne's eyes locked onto mine then, as tears escaped those spheres of glowing orange that began to shift to black. I pondered if she heard my thoughtful plea, and regardless of whether she had or hadn't, it didn't fucking matter.
Nothing matters anymore.
She quickly shook her head before her hands seemed to move down to hold something. Those tears of her fell, and I wondered what it would feel like for them to drop upon my flesh. I could imagine it, just as I could imagine a world without me.
Would she shed tears like this above my grave? Would she sob uncontrollably like I had when I lost my brother, Mom, and Dad? Did all of this happen because I'd recently pondered the idea of returning to the land of paradise to be with my family? Was...my duty already over? To protect Brianne and just...fade away?
She tried to speak to me. Heck, maybe she was shaking me. I couldn't tell anymore. I was simply transfixed on her and nothing else, the image beginning to engrave into my mind as creeping dark spots began to appear at the corners of this rectangle frame.
I'm dying...
I could accept that now as Brianne called out to me and shook her head yet again. At some point, I felt like she knew I couldn't hear her anymore because her eyes further widened before a glimpse of understanding flickered into the hollows of her eyes that were now completely black.
"Finnick!" Her voice boomed in my head then, but my eyes were growing heavier while more block spots fought hard to destroy the beauty in this image. No matter the hopelessness in Brianne's expression and the circumstances we now faced, this sight was one I craved to draw.
If only I could feel my fingers, they would be twitching in excitement to grab a pencil and sketch it all out: to get the lines right, the streams of wetness along her flushed cheeks carrying a soft tenderness while emphasizing the sadness they projected, to color the hollow darkness in her eyes and yet add hints of color to acknowledge the color that was now swallowed by the brink of desolation, and to show just how deadly her aura now was as it burned in defiance.
How our treasure could set lose a power far stronger than anything.
Stronger than Jax. Stronger than the professors at Witchling. Maybe even stronger than the woman who helped at the bridge years ago.
If only she could be here now to lend a hand. If only anyone was here to save us from this constant cycle of death and rebirth.
My death would kill a part of Brianne. I knew it with every blood cell running through my body. She'd be broken to pieces...just like I once was. I feared that no one would be able to put those pieces back together.
It wouldn't matter if they glued them back. There would be a single piece missing that would leave a black hole behind - a reminder of the flickering flame of life I'd contributed to her own burning soul.
The thought made me feel horrible because though I wished for peace, I didn't want this. There was a difference between satisfying my role in this world and gaining peace at the brink of death with my family awaiting my return, and having reached the halfway point and being forced to fail.
Being pushed into a ditch and left to sink all by yourself.
Fear crept in then as the black sheet continued to steal my vision until I had only Brianne's face left to look at while the rest of the world faded away. It almost was like we'd been wrapped around the blackness on purpose, but what would I know when my vision was clearly failing me.
I wanted to at least kiss Brianne one more time, to feel the warmth of those parted lips that trembled. My heart was shattering with every second that followed, as even her voice that fought hard to cut through to my thoughts once more seemed far away.
Her anger was like a blade that was ready to go into war against a nation, and yet she leaned right down and kissed me.
This was the sole moment I needed to not feel so alone. The single touch in this cruel universe seemed to give me the tiniest hint of feeling, allowing me to feel the burning heat of those lips.
I closed my eyes then as I felt the single set of tears leave me like the rest of the sensations in my body - my lips being the last. The warmth was fading as well, but I wasn't afraid this time, because that intense heat helped tame the fear.
Darkness was never something to fear. I'd understood that for a long time. It wasn't more dangerous than the element of light or any other energy force running through this world.
What made darkness scary was the sense of loneliness that always followed its footsteps, the sense of walking down the next darkened path by yourself with no guidance or comfort.
That was exactly how I felt now as I faded away - sinking into a world I was foreign to. When I imagined death knocking on my door, I only assumed I'd be greeted by my family. That they would be waiting for me before a massive golden gate and encouraging me to take the last steps towards the light.
My expectations were no more than dreams because as my consciousness began to trickle away, all I could grasp was the frigid cold of the world.
There was no one here. No warmth of light or pastel colors to greet my vision. No world of utopia to nestle me as I embarked on the next journey of my soul's essence.
It was just me and the darkness, and for once in my existence, I was okay with that conclusion. The fear went away, like the rest of my hopes and dreams. All that was left was that image of Brianne, and that was what I put my attention on until that too was stolen from me.
Just me, my memory, and the world of oblivion.
10
Hopelessness To The Key Of Protection Part One
~KAITO~
* * *
No...
Why hadn't I seen it earlier? Why did it all unfold when I was so far away?