"Are you afraid?" she whispered as if it were between us. I blinked and looked into her innocent eyes, remembering the younger me who would put on a mask to prevent the world from seeing my true struggles.
"You know," she began with a big smile, "it's okay to be scared sometimes. When I'm scared, I go to Mommy and tell her what frightened me. She then tells me why it's not scary. If it is scary, I get to zap it!" She put her hand out to the side and shook it like she was holding a wand and sending out bolts of lightning.
Her innocent explanation made me smile as tears began to burn my eyes. Her grin grew, showing her white teeth as she reached out to pat my head.
"It's okay to be scared. As long as it doesn't stop you from protecting what you love," she whispered. "Familiars don't show it, but we get scared, too."
She's a familiar? I guess she's like Fuwa, who can take on a form.
"We have to fight really scary monsters! Some are big while some are small, but with the support of our Master or Mistress, we can do big things!" She spread her arms out. "So, don't be afraid! You have my support, and Elsa's, and Fuwa's, and Mommy’s!" She looked at Sebastian. "And the scary guy’s!”
I couldn't help but take a hint of a glance at Sebastian as his eye twitched, and my gaze moved to Silver, who carried a pride-filled expression.
Returning my attention to Star, I slowly nodded and decided to say what I'd been keeping back all this while.
"At the end of our semester exam, something bad happened. Someone we'd met during our vacation dealt with a fate that surely wasn't one they deserved. All the emotions thrumming around me was just too much to bear, and I broke down..." I paused to take a nervous breath. "Everyone thought that it was because of my gift that I struggled with the whole ordeal, but none of them saw what I saw."
"What did you see?” Silver inquired.
"I didn't see the victim hanging there. Originally I did...but the image changed. Instead of the victim, it was Brianne."
They didn't seem to mind my moment as the revelation sank in. "I knew that in my reality, she was standing there with the others, standing in the same room as me. But the view before me had her hanging there. Since then, I realized that if it wasn't for the exam, my father's hired goons would have done everything in their power to try and take Brianne away from me, and maybe they had the same intentions for Jax. Even with the distractions of this vacation, the image lingered in my head like a reminder of what was approaching, and I didn't know how to fix it. How would I be able to prevent it all?"
Lifting my hands, I looked at them in wonder as my tears fell. "I had a conversation with Jaxsin one night after a nightmare. I watched the scenario that occurred today. It wasn't everything, but I saw Brianne being shot. I couldn't fathom telling the others because it was just a nightmare. I'm not like Kaito, who can predict the future...but I also feared the idea of it becoming reality. That I wouldn't be there to protect Brianne, Jax, Finnick, and Kaito. When Jax was going to head back into our room, he was back before me as if I'd rewound time. It scared me...and though I knew I could ask Professor Phoenix, I decided it wasn't important enough to ask so soon."
I pressed my hands to my face and sighed into them, the muffled sound making it hard to not breakdown in defeat. "I thought if I took over the protective wall, I'd be able to ensure Brianne's safety. To stop what I saw in my nightmare because it was in my hands. I've always been confident in my abilities when it came to barriers and such. Anything in the realms of protection, everyone knew I'd be able to carry the weight of it all. However...for the first time, Kaito questioned it, and that upset me. It was so stupid because Kaito normally never warns me unless it's out of his own fear, but today was the day he held his weight and knew exactly what was going on. He could see something was happening. That I was struggling with multiple things but didn't want to succumb to such realizations. It hurt my damn pride!”
I shook my head and let hands fall to my lap as tears streamed down my face.
"We're entering our final semester and I've never felt so lost. So defeated. So damn confused. The moment Kaito questioned my capabilities, I felt as if everything had gone backward. As we progressed through the year, Kaito and everyone else around me were going up on the hill of triumph, while I felt like I was going down in a spiraling spin. My dad's appearance is what really rocked everything, not because I was scared of him, but because I was afraid of what he'd be able to do with all those connections. The nightmares just made such fears worsen, and the moment when the pressure was on, my body simply couldn't handle it."
I looked at my friends as their bodies floated in their designated places, and sobs left me as I realized their ends. Each of them were tragic, painful, and preventable, if it wasn't for my lack of belief in myself.
"It didn't even flicker in my mind that I carried that ability I'd used when talking to Jax. I just wanted to protect what I cherish the most with what I've always been comfortable using. There was no need to go outside the box. Or to pull some other strings to make it work. I simply wanted to do what I knew would get me the results I needed, even if I lacked...and, well, this is the end result."
I tried to wipe my eyes as tears continued to flood from them, but it was no use. I was sobbing not because of my obvious failure, but because of the ultimate truth.
My friends are gone. The people I've grown up with, the woman I've fallen in love with, the man who's been willing to open his filled heart for more, and the destiny we all could have walked upon are all gone because of my error of judgment.
They’d graced me with this opportunity to survive, and I knew I wouldn't be a coward and try to end it early so I could avoid the pain in my heart.
A hand landed on my shoulder, and I simply expected it to be Star, but when I opened my eyes, I saw that it was Sebastian. He knelt down on one knee, his expression as serious as always, but there was slight tenderness to it.
A speck of understanding in the hollows of seriousness.
"The Universe throws curveballs at you, not to torture you, but to make you wiser," he whispered. "It takes strength to acknowledge your flaws, but more importantly, it takes a man with the skills of a demigod to reverse the harm that's been done."
My eyes widened at his comment and they grew further when he lifted his free hand to show the true markings all along the back of his hand.
"Those..." I trailed off as he slowly nodded before he rose up to his full height and offered his glowing hand to me. I hesitated in accepting it, the lingering hopelessness beginning to creep in, but I shook my head and took a deep breath.
I need to do this.
Placing my hand in his, I watched as it began to glow as well, while I was aided in standing up. I watched in shock as the purple glow began to burn with hints of black, and when I looked to Sebastian, he assessed my hand accordingly before he nodded.
"You have a choice, Connor. You can use your ability now and reverse the time you've lost to have another shot at saving your friends, or I can reverse time for you, but it will have consequences."
"Both sound as if they have consequences," I admitted quietly, and he actually smirked slightly while Silver looked at me with a quirky smile.