“So, was that my brother?” I asked, thinking that a bit of conversation would help distract my sex addled mind.
“Your brother?” he asked, brow furrowing with confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“You know, my brother, Tyler. Unless you know someone else named Tyler.”
“Wait…” He got up, putting some distance between us. “If Tyler is your brother then that means…” He began to pace, pulling at his hair. “That means…” He stopped at the foot of the bed, eyes narrowing. “Molly?”
“You didn’t know?” I asked, sitting up with the sheets around me. “I thought that was why –”
“You’ve grown up,” he interrupted. “God, the last time I saw you…” He went back to the panic and I could tell he was in total freak out mode.
I frowned. Why was he so upset? Was he suddenly regretting sleeping with me?
“Fuck. You’ve grown up. You’ve really grown up.” He paused, looking at me like he was seeing me for the very first time. “When I left… you were just Tyler’s little sister. Now, look at you.”
I rolled out of bed, keeping the sheet wrapped around my body to stave off the cold. “You sound surprised.” I tried to get near him, but he backed away. “I’ll always be Tyler’s little sister but yes, I’ve grown up. I was lucky enough to leave those awkward early teen years behind me. The acne, too. I’m almost glad that you left but I’ll tell you, back then I was tempted to throw a paper bag over my head.”
He blinked away the fog that had gathered in his eyes. “But then this…” He pointed to the bed and then to me. “Was this supposed to happen? I mean, fuck, you’re my best friend’s sister. He’s going to kill me when he finds out I screwed his sister but damn… how was I supposed to resist when you’re all grown up now and you’ve got a body like that? I didn’t even recognize you.”
“Relax.” I was finally able to get close to rest my hand on his chest. His skin was hot to the touch and I could feel the beating of his heart. “If you ask me, this was supposed to happen. There were hundreds of people at this party and somehow, we found each other. I didn’t even know you had returned from the Marines.” I took another step toward him. With both hands on his chest, the sheets fell to the ground, exposing my naked body. “I don’t regret what we did tonight, Cole, and I hope that you feel the same way.” My lungs tightened with anticipation as I waited for him to answer. It was never easy putting one’s heart on the line.
His hands fell to my hips and his eyes found mine. “You believe that? Do you believe that this meant something? That these feelings are real and not just drunken, lust-driven actions?”
I shortened the space that separated us, eyes still fixed on his. “Sure, I’m a little tipsy right now and maybe I was buzzed when we started tearing each other’s clothes off, but alcohol had nothing to do with this. The second I saw you; I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t let you slip away – that I would finally tell you how I felt.”
“Molly?” he questioned.
“When I was younger, I had this crush on you like you wouldn’t believe. I thought you were just the coolest, most handsome guy, and boy, you should have seen the diary entries I wrote about you.” I could feel my cheeks starting to burn with embarrassment, but I wanted to come clean – to lay it all out on the table. “When you went to the junior prom with Rose, oh, I cried myself to sleep. When you dated Gina, I was heartbroken because I wanted nothing more than to be the girl you had your happily ever after with. I wanted you to sweep me off my feet and make all my dreams come true, but you never noticed me like you noticed all those other girls. Then, you left.”
I could still feel the weight of that day. It had crushed me – made me this shadow of my former self.
“I honestly didn’t know what to do with myself. It felt like all my dreams had been dashed because you would find someone, and I’d be left in the dust.”
His eyes softened. The panic that had clouded them before was being replaced with a sad sort of understanding. “I had no idea that you felt that way,” he said. “I didn’t mean –”
I rose onto the tips of my toes and kissed him. “Of course not,” I said as I dropped back down to my heels. “How would you have known? I kept it a secret, too scared that you would laugh in my face, or even worse than that, tell Tyler. I didn’t want to risk the teasing.” I cupped his face, letting my thumb glide across his cheek. “After a while, I told myself that I was over you because I just couldn’t keep dealing with the heartache. And honestly, I had myself believing it was true… until tonight.”
He listened, playing with the ends of my hair as the moonlight came through the window, bathing us both in a silver glow. The lines of his face stood in contrast, painting the perfect picture. It almost pained me to look at him. How could anyone be so gorgeous?
“When I saw you tonight,” I began only to wet my lips, mouth dry from the sight of him. More and more, the whole thing was feeling like a dream. Please, don’t wake up, I prayed to myself. Please, let this be real. I pressed up against him only to convince myself that he wasn’t some figment of my imagination. When I felt how solid he was, I relaxed and brought myself to continue. “When I saw you tonight, I knew that I wanted – no, that I needed to be with you.” I was chest to chest, pouring out my soul for him. “I was after more than just an incredible night with you. I wanted a future with the man I’ve always imagined sharing one with.”
There was a moment of silence that seemed to stretch into an eternity. I wanted desperately to know what he was thinking. Had I just made a fool of myself? Would Cole laugh in my face after all these years?
And then suddenly, just as I was going to break the silence, he kissed me. It was no ordinary kiss. It was the sort of kiss that fairy tales are made of. A warmth blossomed inside my chest, replacing my beating heart with every beautiful possibility. With that kiss, I received the love I had always wanted. My knees became weak – weaker than when Cole fucked my brains out and that’s saying something. But Cole’s lips remained firm against mine, speaking a language that only I could understand. This feeling we were both experiencing was as real as it gets.
Only when both our lungs burned did he pull away, but he kept me close like he was afraid of letting me go – like I was going to slip away.
“I’m here to stay,” I whispered, answering the doubt in his eyes. “If you want me, then I am all yours.”
He pressed his forehead against mine, hand on the back of my neck. “Of course, I want you,” he whispered. “You’re right that these feelings can’t just be the alcohol talking. There’s more at play here – much more – and I don’t want it to go away because even spending a few hours with you has made me feel like a better man. I want to be with you, Molly.”
I smiled, lips stretching from ear to ear with my surprise. “Really?” I breathed. “You really want me?”
“I do,” he said. “I really do.”
***
But admitting our feelings for each other came with the realization that we’d have to come clean and tell my brother about what we had done.