I needed this moment.
Bad.
The bailiff opened the door, and that was the only reason I released her. “Come on, Willow,” Jeremy ordered. I gripped Ishmael’s arm to keep him calm. He’d been begging me to let him get at Jeremy. Maybe the old me would have been cool with that, but with Willow, I was thinking twice as hard about the things I said and did these days. I wanted nothing to keep us apart again. Now if the Judge happened to rule in his favor, I didn’t give a fuck what Ishmael did to him at that point.
After court was called back in session, Judge Dray asked to speak with Willow. She looked at both me and Jeremy before placing her hand inside of the bailiff’s and allowing him to lead her to the stand. The Judge spent the first minute or so making small talk to make her comfortable and see how intelligent she was.
“How do you feel about your daddy?” The Judge asked, and Willow didn’t bother even looking at him before she replied.
“I like him a lot. He’s really nice sometimes and sometimes he can be a little mean.”
“Has he ever hit you before?”
“No, sir. He just doesn’t talk to me sometimes or yells sometimes. But he always apologizes and says it’s only because I look like and remind him so much of my mommy.”
My elbows went to the table and I covered my face. The feel of my lawyer’s hand on my back did nothing to soothe me. I needed Ishmael. My princess. The peace of God.
“Do you think your father loves you?” The Judge paused. “Do you know what love is?”
I lowered my hands and inhaled a deep breath. Tears formed, but they weren’t going to fall.
“Yes.” She smiled confidently, sitting up straighter. My smile turned into a proud chuckle. “Love is what makes you smile when you’re sad. And when my puppy licks my face after I’ve been gone all day. Ooh! It’s when my grandma and poppop Stanley smile at each other and dance and kiss in the living room. And when you’re hurting and mommy can kiss it and make it feel better. Or when you’re scared and daddy scares all the bad monsters away.”
The Judge beamed as she looked from me to Jeremy. “Okay, good. So do you think your father loves you?”
“Yes.”
“Do you love him?”
“Yes.”
“Do you think your mother loves you?”
“Yes, and I love her too!”
“How do you feel about your mother?”
“Even though she wasn’t in my life for a long time, I love her a lot. And I want to be by her for all of my life. Daddy said that I should be sad because she left me, but I’m really really really happy that she came back. I like my mommy a lot. She looks like me and makes me feel good. And we do some of the same things alike.” Willow giggled, lifting her arm for the Judge to see. “We even have the same birthmark by our elbow. She’s my mommy but she’s my bestest new friend too.”
That was about all I could take. The tears started to fall, but I quickly wiped them away.
“Has she ever hit you before?”
“No, sir.”
“What about at your grandmother’s wedding.”
Willow’s face twisted up and she shook her head and smiled. “Mommy didn’t hit me. She was trying to help me stay with her and not have to go home with daddy.”
“Do you like living with daddy?”
“Yes. I like living with both! I wish I could live with both at the same time, but mommy said that won’t ever happen and I’m blessed to have two houses and two parents who love me a lot.”
I saw Jeremy look at me out of the corner of my eye. Slowly, I turned to face him. His hand was on his heart as he mouthed thank you silently. I don’t know why he thought I spent my time with Willow talking shit about him or teaching her the hoe game.
“Okay. You can go back to your seat.”
The bailiff helped her down, and she skipped back to her seat, stopping to wave at me and her father as everyone laughed. That little girl was truly my light during a time that otherwise clouded me with darkness. Removing his glasses, Judge Dray released a heavy exhale.
“I want to see the both of you in my chambers with your lawyers for mediation. You will have joint custody, and you need to come up with an agreement that suits you both for the sake of that beautiful child.”
My mother shouted, “Yes,” as I closed my eyes and smiled. I didn’t think I was capable of loving another human being as much as I loved my daughter, especially in such a small amount of time. But hearing the Judge grant us joint custody had me ready to fall to my knees and thank God for a second chance.
Quickly, we all made our way back to the Judge’s chambers. I expected Jeremy to be angry or at least sad, but his expression was blank. Calm. That was a good sign. Didn’t really matter at this point, though. No matter how he felt about me and Ishmael, there was nothing he could do to take me out of Willow’s life. I realized, though, that his calmness was only a front the moment he began to list his demands. His voice was firm, crisp, low, but I didn’t care.
I was too damn happy to care.
One of his conditions was that Willow not be around Ishmael. I told him that that wasn’t possible because I firmly believed we would be together for the rest of our lives. I did, however, agree that they wouldn’t officially meet for six months to a year, and he had no choice but to be okay with that. We agreed that for the first six months, I would get her for the weekends and holidays. Then, I would have her for two weeks out of the month, we would split the holidays, and he wanted to have her all summer. I told him that was cool as long as I could have her for two weeks so we could go to waterparks and amusement parks.
After that, we signed the agreement and the Judge stamped it to make it official. His petty ass asked that he be able to keep her this weekend so he could enjoy being an only parent before the agreement started. I agreed, only because I wanted some alone time with Ishmael to show him how much I appreciated him for being at my side throughout this whole ordeal.
Mommy couldn’t wait to be on mommy duty again… but for the next three nights… mommy needed some alone time with her daddy.
Chapter 19
Ishmael
I could get lost in her eyes forever. That’s the captivating hold they had on me. All Rosalyn had to do was look at me and I would be putty in her hands. Tonight was no different. We’d spent the weekend together for some much needed us time.
Her business was booming, and the streets always called for a nigga. Even though I had enough men working for me to never have to get my hands dirty, I still made my rounds daily to make sure they remembered who the fuck I was and that I didn’t play about anything or anyone that was mine.
I thought Rosalyn would have wanted to go out and celebrate last night, but we ended up going straight to my place and fucking in every room. Around nine she went and grabbed a few drinks with Candy since I had to handle a little business. Earlier today she made me breakfast in bed before we did a little shopping. Then, we went to the gun range before heading to what had quickly become our favorite cigar lounge. Rosalyn didn’t smoke cigars, but she did smoke weed, so we reserved a private room where we could light up, drink brown, and watch the first half of the Grizzlies game.