With Ben, she could relax and be herself.
At least the self she wanted to be. A typical teenage girl with an adoring boyfriend. She’d gotten so caught up in the make believe of the role she was playing, she’d agreed to go to the prom with him despite the fact she knew her time in the small town was drawing to an end. She told herself it was because she wanted to create a lasting memory of a normal childhood that she could carry with her for the rest of her life. But the truth was she’d fallen for the studious townie. And she wanted everyone in Watertown to know it, even if it was for only one night.
Unfortunately, her mother’s handlers had other plans. Circumstances required a hasty retreat out of the country. She never got a chance to wear the beautiful gown she’d picked out. Even worse, she never got the chance to say goodbye to Ben. Nursing a broken heart she blamed her mother for causing, she stepped into her mother’s shoes with a zeal unrivaled by any other operative within the service. Ironically, she’d learned a valuable lesson while here in Watertown. Never let anyone close enough to know the real Quinn. There would only be heartache if she did. It was a lesson that helped her survive life in the game.
“Care for anything else?” The waitress was back interrupting Quinn’s rehashing of her greatest mistake. “We’ve got a chocolate cake that is bound to be just as satisfying as the view.” The woman winked conspiratorially.
As much as she would prefer to indulge in the healing powers of chocolate, she had a job to do. And if she hurried, she just might be able to retrieve the micro card with Ben being none the wiser.
“Just a check,” she murmured, keeping her gaze trained on Ben.
He climbed onto the dock and was headed into town.
“Sure.” The waitress handed her the handwritten tab. “Enjoy the rest of your day.”
Quinn left several bills on the table, securing them with the tin of Old Bay so the bills didn’t become a casualty to the afternoon breeze. She made her way into the air-conditioned storefront of the marina, recognizing that not everything in Watertown had remained the same. What once had been a bait and tackle shop was now a gourmet takeout restaurant selling everything from worms to wine. There was an impressive deli counter with an array of ready-made foods for boaters and fishermen alike. Even with the changes, the family-owned shop still reverberated with the hominess she’d always loved when she and Ben studied together here.
Forcing herself to focus on her task, she hurried out onto the dock and made her way to Ben’s sailboat. She glanced into the reflection of the chrome railings on the bow of a speedboat to make sure no one was watching from the restaurant deck behind her. The deck was blessedly empty. Quinn lengthened her stride toward Ben’s boat. She was just about to climb aboard when the name painted on its side stopped her in her tracks.
Seas the Day.
The moniker was an homage to their carefree spring break senior year when they’d dreamt up a future together. A future that included a sail around the world aboard a boat with a name they’d come up with while huddled around a campfire—Seas the Day. She’d been playing a dangerous game then, spinning a fantasy of a life she could never have. Not with her family background. Ben had nurtured a lot more faith in their future, apparently. The ever-present shame that had been clinging to her for years suddenly made her eyes sting and her mouth dry. He’d never know how she wished all their dreams could have come true.
“I thought you were dead.”
The sound of his voice behind her startled her. Not only that, but the words he uttered made her stomach drop. She was glad for her dark sunglasses that hid the astonishment surely reflected in her eyes.
Had anyone ever worried about her?
Her parents loved her. But they loved each other more. For much of her life, Quinn was just a project to them. Someone to groom to be an even bigger player in the game. But sweet Ben, the boy whose heart she’d apparently dented if not broken, had actually worried about her. His revelation shook her to her core.
She pivoted slowly so they were facing one another. He stood with his arms crossed over his impressive chest. Just for a moment, she wondered what it would be like to have his strong body wrapped around her again. To be the one who was being protected instead of the one who was forced by circumstances beyond her control to do the protecting.
Except her life wasn’t a fairy tale. Ben Segar wasn’t going to ride in and rescue her. He had no idea what she’d become. And it was better this way. Because if she let him in, he’d hate her even more than he likely already did. And that just might destroy the shred of integrity she still possessed.
“Still alive and kicking,” she managed to say without her voice cracking.
*
I thought you were dead.
Not exactly the line he imagined he’d lead with after all these years. It revealed too much. The last thing he wanted was for her to think he had actually missed her.
But for once in his life, Ben knew what it was like to have his brain scrambled. Probably because she was standing before him, wearing a pair of shorts displaying her long, lean legs to perfection. She no longer exuded the innocence she once wore like armor. Instead, she had matured in all the right places, looking a hell of a lot more exotic than she ever had. And he hated how much the sight of her was turning him on right now.
He managed to bob his chin up and down in response, but he couldn’t seem to move anything else. That was probably a good thing because were his limbs not frozen, he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to stop himself from throttling her.
Or kissing her.
And that thought made him even angrier.
“What are you doing here?” he demanded instead.
Quinn traced her lower lip with the tip of her tongue. He recognized the tell from their days in chemistry when she claimed she understood even if she didn’t. She was going to lie to him. He didn’t know why the realization felt like a sucker punch to the gut, but it did.
“I’m visiting the area,” she said. “And I thought I’d stop by and say hello.”
He was incredulous. She could say hello but the hell with good-bye? Or I’m sorry? Thankfully, his anger propelled him into motion. Not trusting himself to respond, he stepped around her and climbed aboard the Seas the Day.
“Ben.”
His name slipped through her lips almost as an exhale, the sound of it so erotic, he couldn’t help himself. He turned around to face her.
“It’s been thirteen years with no contact, Quinn,” he said. “You said your hello. I don’t know what else there is to say.”
He grabbed at the lines securing the Seas the Day to the dock.
“You’re leaving?”
“Yep. That ought to be something you’re very familiar with.” He scrambled to the bow to untie the lines there.
“Wait. I came here to explain. I’m sure you don’t believe me, but I am sorry.”
Her admission was so unexpected, he turned to glance back at her standing on the dock. Too bad her sunglasses prevented him from gauging the sincerity of her confession.
“I wanted you to know I regret I couldn’t be the girl you wanted me to be,” she continued softly. “I thought maybe we could talk for a few minutes. You know, start over and try to make things right between us.”
Come again? Was this one of those twelve-step programs where a person had to ask forgiveness of everyone they wronged? Adam’s father had recently done the same, right before he passed away. Ben’s heart suddenly constricted.