Obviously, pushing her onto a glass table wasn’t the way to do that, but maybe there was a way that would?
Realizing it was my turn to get my new uniform from Naomi, I smiled at her and told her my sizes while I went through a plan in my head for Zuri.
And then it went slightly to shit—literally, but I wouldn’t realize that last part for a couple of hours—when DB came in and scanned the room for me.
“Garrett, need a favor.”
Chapter Six
Zuri
“She’s an easy baby,” Tabby said as she dumped a massive bag on the floor. “I’m sure it’s nothing major with my Dad, but Jose and me want to go and help him out, and Dave’s stuck at work.”
Garrett was on his way home to help me out with my problem—babysitting. I loved kids, they were fantastic, but I couldn’t be in control of one on my own.
I didn’t know anything about them, for the love of all things sacred. Oh, and let's not forget my hand and back.
“No problem,” I replied half-heartedly, watching Sheena look around the room wide-eyed. “Is there anything she likes to do?”
“Cartoons, chew on things, crawl, pull stuff down she shouldn’t, bananas, fart…” Tabby trailed off and frowned down at her daughter. “I don’t even know if kids should do more than that at her age.”
The door opening distracted her, and she went back to the instructions.
“She drinks normal milk now, so she can have that. If you give her apple juice, make sure you water it down—it’s better for her teeth. She’ll nap in about an hour and then wake up hangry, so I’ve put her dinner in the fridge. Just pop it in the microwave and heat it up.”
That sounded totally doable. Milk, nap, eat.
“We’ve got this, Tabby,” Garrett assured her, closing the door behind him and waving at Sheena, who smiled brightly at him. “Jose is waiting outside for you.”
“Right, right,” she blustered as she moved around quickly. “If you need anything, call her damn dad.”
And with that, she was gone, leaving me with a miniature human being who was relying on me.
Dumping what looked like the contents of a department store that only sold black clothes on the dining table, Garrett walked over to her and squatted down.
“Hey, little one. Your daddy said some mean things about certain parts of my body and what he’d do to them if you came back with anything but smiles on your face. I kind of like the parts he said the mean things about, though, so let’s find out what makes you smile.”
And with that, he turned on the television and navigated to what looked like channels dedicated just to kids. I didn’t even know I had those.
When he stopped on one cartoon, Sheena squealed and clapped her hands together, making me snort.
The problem was, I’d focused on what was going on in it, and within five minutes, I’d become invested in the plot. There were animals that were domesticated pets and other ones that’d been dumped into the sewer or abandoned. Then there was the dog catcher guy… this shit was addictive.
So, I sat down on the couch and watched it all play out, absent-mindedly helping Sheena up onto it beside me when she crawled over. With the two of us curled up together, we sat and watched the movie, eating grapes and popcorn when Garrett brought them out to us.
Maybe I could do this mothering stuff? It was so easy.
Three hours later…
“Are you sure that was a fart?” I croaked, holding the neck of my t-shirt to my face. “I don’t think it was, you know.”
Peeking over the back of the couch, Garrett eyed Sheena, who was lying on her back on the floor, giggling. “I don’t see anything.”
“How are you going to know from all the way over there? You’ve got to check her diaper.”
The horrified look he gave me would’ve been amusing if it wasn’t a case of life or death. “I’m not looking in her diaper. It’s a girl.”
Blinking, I tried to understand his logic. “So, if it were a boy, I’d be the one hiding behind the couch?”
He was totally lying when he said “yes,” I could see it in his eyes.
Just then, the nastiest stomach curdling noise came out of the cute baby, and I decided there and then I was never having kids.
I couldn’t leave the poor kid if she’d shit herself, though, so I slowly got up and walked into the kitchen, opening the drawer that had a box of disposable gloves for when I had to cut raw meat. I hated touching it, so I always had them.
Pulling out four, I tried to get them over my cast, but it was impossible.
“If you want me to do it, you’re going to have to help me put these on.”
While he got up and moved around the couch, giving the baby a wide berth, I picked up the hair clip that I’d left on the counter this morning and attached it to the front of my t-shirt. Then, after going through things I might possibly need, I went and got a whole roll of paper towels.
Turning around, I almost jumped when I saw Garrett standing with one of the gloves in his hands, waiting for me. “She’s got wipes and whatever shit she needs in her bag. I think those are too abrasive for her.”
Ignoring him, I held out a hand and waited for him to put the glove on it. “I’m double gloving, so can you put the other one on top, please?”
Once I was gloved up, I took the hair clip off my t-shirt and put it on my nose. That idea lasted all of five seconds before I gave in to the pain and watering eyes and dumped it back on the side.
I was going to have to go in unprotected.
Moving closer to her, I picked up the diaper bag and laid it beside Sheena, trying to plan how I was going to do this. I’d only ever seen shit like this in movies, so I didn’t know where to start.
Seeing as how he’d gotten us into this mess, he was going to have to help me. “Garrett, can you pull up a tutorial on how to change a diaper?”
Not saying a word, he started tapping on the screen of his phone and then put it on the top of the counter. “There you go.”
Looking down at the baby in the middle of my living room and then back over at the phone, I made the point without saying a word—there was no way in hell I was going to be able to see it from where I was.
After he sighed and moved out from behind his wall, I got down on my knees and spoke like I was trying to settle a wild animal.
“Okay, there’s nothing to be scared of. I’m just going to check you out and make sure you’re okay. Trust me, I’ll be as gentle as I can, and then you can go back to running wild and free.”
“She’s not a tiger, pretty girl,” Garrett snickered, putting the phone down next to me and backing away quickly as Sheena made a growling noise at him.
“You were saying?”
The whole time I watched the video's long-winded introduction, Sheena farted and giggled to her heart’s content while I tried not to throw up.
I worked in a hospital, I needed to be better than this, but five days of the pain medication and eating weird shit had my stomach ready to riot.
Finally, the woman moved onto what I needed to do.
To begin with, I needed a changing mat.