“That once she starts to go downhill, it’ll be very hard and fast. There won’t be weeks and months of her suffering, though. That’s the one thing she says is her silver lining. I don’t know if it’s better or worse that way. I’ve had a few years with her symptoms being pretty mild, but I can’t say watching her struggle isn’t the worst part. I don’t know how I’ve survived so far. When my parents died, we didn’t have a warning. There was no time to worry. With Stephanie it’s the opposite, I’m literally watching her life slip away. I’ve been doing it with no one to help me keep it together.”
His fingers go limp and he pulls his hand up, rubbing it with the other. “I wish I could say something to make this easier for you.”
I shrug even though nothing we’re talking about feels casual. “Tell me you’re not going to leave me, Eli. Because I can’t let myself keep falling for you if this is only going to end with you walking out the door.”
“Come here,” he says as he opens his arms. I don’t waver, I move into his embrace, allowing him to hold me firm. “I’m not going to leave you.”
Being vulnerable is a scary thing. It’s hard to give anyone, let alone Eli, unfettered access to my biggest fear. I’ve been alone for a long time, and I’ve learned to handle it. This, though? I have no idea how to handle. Having a taste of Eli’s affection is enough to make me an addict. The more time we spend together, the more I crave him.
“You’re leaving soon.”
It’s the elephant in the room. We can pretend all we want that Eli isn’t who he is, but there is a reality we need to face. He has to go back to New York in less than two weeks. Our time is fading before my eyes as well. I know it’s his job, I would never ask him to stay, but I’ll be without him. Three weeks ago, I could’ve said goodbye and walked away, but when my heart entangled with his, it complicated things. Why can’t I fall for a normal guy? Why do I pick the one man who literally lives every single one of my insecurities? Because I’m dumb, that’s why.
Eli’s arm tightens. “That part sucks, but it won’t be that long. We take breaks during filming, I can come here or you can come spend time in New York. I meant what I said, Heather, we’ll make this work.”
“I have work, too. And Steph.”
“I know, I’m not asking you to give up anything, just make room for me.”
When he says it like that, it seems so simple.
Chapter 17
Eli
“Nicole, Kristin, and Denise?” I ask, trying to get the names right. Heather’s best friends are her family, and I’d like not to look like a total douche in front of them.
“Danielle, or Danni for short. That’s whose house this is.” She corrects as she parks in front of a house in West Chase. It’s a modest two-story house on a cul-de-sac, complete with a picket fence and all.
I’m adaptable, but my life hasn’t ever been normal. I’m not sure what the hell I was thinking agreeing to this.
Heather watches me, and then I remember why—her. She wanted me here to meet her friends, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do. “Are you okay?” she asks.
“It’s going to be great, baby. Do they know I’m coming?”
I should’ve asked this earlier.
“Umm, well, I kind of didn’t say anything.”
I’m not sure if this is because she didn’t think we’d make it to the weekend or because she didn’t want her friends to freak. Well, here goes nothing.
I take her small hand in mine and smile. “Let’s go surprise them.”
Her one friend, I remember. Nothing specific, but she was who came back stage and urged Heather to come with me, I make a mental note to thank her.
There are a few guys standing over by the front of the yard, pointing at something on the ground, and the smell of food cooking on a grill fills the air. I’m in suburbia and completely out of my element.
We exit the car and the two guys who were shooting the shit stop and look. “Heather,” guy number one calls her name.
“Hi, Peter.” She smiles and waves.
They both head over and Peter extends his hand. “Hi, I’m Peter Bergen.”
“Eli Walsh,” I say, shaking his hand.
I watch as recognition sinks in. “Right, of course.” He looks at the other guy. “Eli, this is Scott McGee.”
We shake, and Scott stares me down. What the fuck is wrong with him? “Nice to meet you both.” I try to keep my instant dislike to myself.
I wrap my arm around Heather, pulling her into my side. I don’t like these guys, well, the one at least.
“Same here. The girls are around back,” Peter says to her.
“Thanks.” She smiles, but it isn’t a real one. It seems I’m not the only one who doesn’t care for these dickheads.
“What’s their issue?” I ask once we’re out of earshot.
She laughs. “Nicole and I hate them. Scott is the worst, but Kristin just makes excuses for him. Peter isn’t that bad, he’s just a sheep and follows what the first idiot says.”
We make our way around the back of the house, and I take it all in. Kids run around in all directions, spraying each other with water guns. The women all have their backs to us, laughing and arranging the food table. It’s exactly like the parties my mom threw when Randy and I were kids.
“Heather!” one of her friends yells and then drops the bowl she was holding. “Holy fuck!”
Heather steps forward, pulling me with her. “Danni, this is Eli, I hope it’s okay that I brought a date?”
I flash one of my million dollar smiles and move toward her. Her eyes haven’t moved from my face, and I’m pretty sure she’s shaking. “Thanks for having me. Heather said you have the best party of the summer.”
“I-I-I,” she stammers. “You’re . . . you . . . in my . . . Eli.”
Heather laughs and nudges Danielle. “I wanted you guys to meet him officially.”
The girl I remember comes walking straight up to me. “I’m Nicole, we met briefly, you may not remember because you were kind of busy trying to get in my best friend’s pants, which you did. Good job on that.”
“Thanks.” I laugh. “And I remember you from climbing the fence.”
She huffs and gives Heather a dirty look. “Yeah, she’s an asshole for that, but it seems you found your way over it as well. Don’t fuck it up, and I won’t have to blow your nuts off.”
“Nicole!” Heather screams and turns to me. “I’m so sorry. I should’ve warned you about her. We think she has a mental disorder that affects her ability to think before she speaks.”
I burst out laughing. “I like her.”
“Oh, God.” Heather covers her face. “Don’t feed the animals, Eli, they bite.”
I say hello to her other friend, who I assume is Kristin since she stands there like a statue without saying a word. Her gaze moves from Heather to me and then back again. I’ve never understood the awe of famous people. We’re normal and have the same issues that everyone else does. The only difference is that I travel, have no friends, and I deal with other famous assholes. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.