Chapter 20
Calli
Standing before her open pantry in yoga pants and an oversized sweatshirt, Calli rattled a box of mac and cheese, wondering if that was too informal to feed to her dad as a side dish for the pork roast she’d put in the crock pot that morning. She eyed the fridge skeptically. She had just enough milk and butter to make two boxes. Her dad probably wouldn’t complain, but somehow, it just felt improper to serve to a guest.
“Ah, what the heck, I could use the comfort food today,” she said to the empty kitchen.
As she opened the ingredients, the security system beeped with the announcement that someone was entering from the garage. A moment later, Jax threw his keys on the counter and asked, “Boxed for dinner?”
“Mmhmm.” Calli licked butter from her finger. When she measured the milk, she had just a little too much, so she poured about an ounce in another glass and handed it to her son. “Sorry, have to use all the milk for dinner.”
“It’s all right.” Jax took off his beanie and coat. “I can drink water too.”
“I know. But you love milk . . . ”
“Zoe figured that out too. Dad hates it, but they had three gallons in their fridge when we got there.”
Calli froze mid-stir. Keeping her reaction steady, she disposed of the butter wrapper and milk carton. Normally, she tried to not hold it against Jax or Kent when they mentioned Zoe, but she hated that the other woman was such a big part of their lives now. Suddenly feeling inadequate, she said, “I’m sorry I didn’t pick up more.”
“Aw, man.” Jax rolled his eyes and dropped his head forward, shoulders slouching. Then he walked over and wrapped his arms around his mom’s shoulders. “I could have picked some up too. Sorry I mentioned Dad’s. Where’s Pa-pa and Kent?”
“They’re upstairs. It’s not your fault, kiddo.” Calli smiled, trying hard to make it genuine. “It shouldn’t faze me anymore, either. And I really am happier that we’re not together anymore.” She wanted to add, It’s just that the time you spend there is supposed to be mine too. I’m not supposed to have to share you yet. But she held her tongue.
Jax fished in his bag and sat down at the kitchen table with a sketch pad and pencil, turned on his tunes with the headphones only covering one ear, and started to draw. Calli watched him in her periphery as she drained the noodles and melted in the butter and powdered cheese. She plated the pork roast, transferred the pasta to a bowl, and asked, “Hey, can you set the table?”
As she placed the bowl of cheesy, comforty goodness among the plates and next to the roast, she grinned. “Bon appétit.” At the bottom of the stairs, she called up for Kent and her dad.
Her superman bounded down with as much grace as a giraffe, about as lanky and awkward too. Just growing into knobby legs and arms, his voice cracked as he asked, “What’s for dinner?” He hadn’t even looked.
Calli, aware it drove Kent crazy, said, “Chicken and salad,” and smiled wryly. When she was in training for the half-marathon, that had been pretty much a nightly thing, and they’d all gotten sick and tired of the lean protein and green, leafy vegetables. It had become a running joke in their house, and Kent had the least sense of humor about it.
“Mom. Seriously?”
“Thought it was your favorite.”
He tucked his chin and glared. “Since when do you make salad in a saucepan?”
“Roast and mac and cheese.” She touched her son’s shoulder—about the closest she could get to a hug these days. Just as he sat, her father came down the stairs after his grandson and gave Calli a quick kiss on the cheek.
“Eat up, Superman. Hope you don’t mind the informal dinner, Dad. It’s been a rough day.”
“It’s just right. There’s nothing better on a snowy evening than something warm and gooey.”
She thanked her dad and offered him a tight smile, but her eyes dropped, betraying her mood. She quickly focused on something non-hurtful, not wanting to broach the topic of Dom with her dad or in front of the boys. “The snow this year has started so early. It’s going to be a long winter. I’m glad you decided to stay overnight and give them a chance to get the roads cleared.”
Observantly, he asked, “Is there something wrong, honey?”
She shook her head, and they all sat down to eat. In an unusual display, Kent babbled about the day, telling his brother all about the lecture hall and how Pa-pa was going to send him the presentation on fluorescence resonance energy transfer and his research on orchid genetics from the lecture earlier so he could share it with his biology class. This reaction was a highlight in an otherwise not-so-bright day.
After dinner, the boys went off to do homework, or at least they pretended to. Calli and her dad went to the den where she curled up on one end of the couch with her favorite heavy quilt.
“You seemed so happy last night, Cal. What changed?”
Calli sighed. She wasn’t bringing her dad into her real turmoil, but she could give him the background about the situation. “A coworker was in an accident over the weekend. He’s in the hospital, so I have a boatload more work for the foreseeable future.” Calli ran a finger around the rim of her mug and sipped, keeping her eyes on her dad.
He glared at her skeptically, placed his tea on the table, then moved closer and wrapped an arm around her. “You don’t have to talk to me about it, but I hope you’re talking to your sister or someone else close.”
Calli snuggled into him, remote in one hand. His rich and familiar scent infiltrated her nose, and she felt young sitting next to him, but it was nice—something that’d been off-limits to her as an adult for far too long. She missed this much like she missed working beside him in the greenhouse. Regardless, she had her life here in the Cities, and she needed to make the best of it.
In companionable silence, she clicked and clicked and clicked, then clicked faster when she came to the romance group—past Hallmark Channel, past Lifetime, and past Lifetime Movies. Certainly, her dad didn’t want to watch any of that crap, either, and the last thing she wanted to be reminded of was how lonely she was—apparently the way she would remain as the muses, fates, stars, cards, and even her boss seemed to be aligned or stacked against her having a love life.
It was fine, she decided. Time to focus on herself, a chance to discover who she was without a man in her life. My boys, my career, my friends, and my family. She looked forward to being with her whole family now sooner than expected—at Thanksgiving—thanks to Bennett. Her well-meaning mother would express how sad she was over the divorce, and that sadness would be even more amplified because Bennett would be taking her boys out of the country on her first Christmas after the divorce.
Calli stopped on HGTV; a couple was trying to decide between staying in their newly renovated home or selling it and buying a bigger one. Good enough, not really romantic. She placed the remote on the arm of the couch and half-watched. She would have to work to show her mom how happily independent she could be, but it would be good. Cat and her brother Jon would be there with their significant others, and Alder would be there too. She wondered if he’d bring home a different girlfriend this year from Seattle. Turkey Day would give her a good chance to get out of the city and remember where she came from, maybe try to mend a few fences. With so much to look forward to, she didn’t need anything else, right?