His blue eyes were lit up with silver and gold magic, brighter than the sky, their cerulean depths reflecting the magic shooting out of the fortress tower. The look in those eyes was intense, like he was reading right through me. Which he was, as he’d just demonstrated. I’d thought things would be easier once I learned to mask my thoughts from other angels, but Damiel didn’t need telepathy to read my mind.
“I do trust you, Damiel,” I said.
“Part of you does. Every so often, I can see the real you peeking through the facade, that part untouched by your father’s distrust. In those moments, you don’t look at me like I am a monster. And you might very well be the only person in all the realms who doesn’t.”
“I know you aren’t a monster. And I’m not the only one who knows that. Jiro does too.”
“Jiro knows I’m a monster. We both are,” Damiel laughed. “He and I have both done many terrible things for the greater good. I do them so our world can be safe. That has to count for something.”
He looked like he was trying to convince himself more than he was trying to convince me.
“It counts for a lot,” I told him. “You are a great man.”
“I’m an angel, love. I haven’t been a man for a very long time.”
“Damiel…”
“Don’t feel sorry for me, Cadence. I knew what I was getting into when I marched up to Nyx and demanded to join her Legion. But you…you were raised to this life. You were raised to become an angel from the day you were born. Your father never gave you a choice.”
“I do have a choice. My father does not control every aspect of my life,” I protested.
“All your friends, the positions you’ve held at the Legion—everything was perfectly constructed by General Silverstar. You have always gone on the missions he’s handpicked for you. Just as your friends were handpicked by him too.”
Dad picking my missions… I could see that, but my friends? No, that was paranoia.
“My friends are my own,” I declared. “At least, those that I have. I’m sure you’ve noticed I have precious few friends. People don’t like the ‘Princess’, the archangel’s daughter. At best, I make them uncomfortable.”
“And at worse, you ignite the jealousy and anger in them.”
“Yes.”
“And yet Allegra Prior has stood by you through everything.”
“Because she’s my friend.”
“Is she? Is she indeed?”
I scowled at him. “What are you saying?”
“I think you know what I’m saying. Allegra Prior follows General Silverstar’s orders. From the time you joined the Legion, she’s always been at your side, looking over your shoulder.”
“She’s watching my back, not looking over my shoulder.”
“When every other soldier shunned you, she was there for you. Because General Silverstar ordered her to be there. To watch you. He couldn’t watch you all the time, so he needed someone to make sure you were following the path he’d set out for you.”
My fists clenched. Anger boiled under the surface of my skin. “How dare you!” I hissed under my breath. “Just because the world has withered away your faith, hardening you into a cynical shell, you have no right to drag everyone else into the abyss with you. Allegra is not a spy following my father’s orders.”
His gaze flickered to my clenched fists. “Your emotional response indicates that you do not truly believe those words of protest.”
I glared at him. “You really are an arrogant ass, Damiel Dragonsire.”
“Of course I am,” he agreed, unbothered. “But my own character flaws notwithstanding, I am right. General Silverstar is manipulating your life. And Captain Prior is one of his agents.”
“Do you have any proof of this beyond your own deeply-ingrained cynicism?”
“I did investigate General Silverstar thoroughly.”
“Really? Why?”
“It’s my job to investigate all the angels especially, a task given to me by the First Angel.”
Right. True. But unsettling nonetheless. It was a serious matter to be investigated by the Interrogators—or, as they were also known, the Inquisitors.
“When did you investigate my father?” I asked him.
“After my first mission with you. Something felt off.”
“Off about what?”
“About your life.”
“Something felt wrong about my life?” I laughed. My voice sounded strained, almost screechy. “Oh, is that all? I thought it was something serious.”
He watched me. “I’ve upset you.”
“Yeah, you kind of have. You’re telling me that my whole life is a lie.” I took a deep breath. “What conclusion did you come to after investigating my father?”
“General Silverstar’s actions indicated not that he was betraying the Legion, but that he was controlling you. And that included keeping you from forming any attachments to anyone he didn’t control.”
I thought of my friends. I’d never had a serious boyfriend. I’d never even gotten past the first date before those soldiers found themselves reassigned. All things considered, I supposed I should have been happy they hadn’t found themselves dead.
But this wasn’t just a case of an overprotective father. What was Dad doing? What did he have planned for me? Why did he never speak of my mother? Why did no one know anything about her?
“I wonder how my mother fits into this,” I said.
“Yes, I was wondering about that as well. I find the mystery surrounding her very suspicious. I wonder…” He looked at me.
“What?”
“I wonder if General Silverstar truly is your father.”
I didn’t want to believe it, that my friends had all been ordered to be my friends. But I could not deny that I did seem to be following my father’s design at every turn. Whatever that design was.
And now this. If my friends weren’t my friends, was my father really my father? Was my whole life a lie?
“He warned me that you would try to do this, to put a wedge between me and him,” I said quietly.
“General Silverstar was right. He knows me too well.”
I shook my head. “No, he knows the Master Interrogator. He doesn’t know Damiel at all.”
Damiel touched my face, brushing away a treacherous tear. I leaned in and kissed him on the lips. I didn’t even know why I did it. But the disappointment in my heart when he stepped back could not be denied.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“We have a lot of ground to cover,” he replied and turned away.
We moved deeper into the woods. The springs grew grander and more numerous, but the path was taking us further from the fortress we wanted to scout out.
“What are we doing here?” I wondered.
“Do you trust me?”
I considered his question carefully.
“Your lack of an immediate response is not what I was hoping for,” he said.
“Do you want platitudes or honesty?”
He grunted. “Do you even have to ask?”
I lifted my brows. “Apparently, I do have to ask.”