"We can't all need a perfect little sub." Dean flips him off.
Brendon rolls his eyes.
"Oh." Iris presses her lips together. "You and… you're into BDSM?"
"It's not bondage or bust, but yeah. I enjoy ordering my girl around and tying her to my bed from time to time." He shoots Dean a cutting look then shoots me the same one. "Don't enjoy the commentary."
"So, you also have regular sex?" Iris asks.
The look he shoots her is more curious.
Interested even. "Yeah. All the time."
"Starfish?" Dean asks.
Brendon rolls his eyes.
Iris laughs. "Is that still a thing?"
"You know a guy? Or do it yourself? You can tell me." Dean mimes zipping his lips. "I can keep a secret."
She looks back to me. "Can he?"
I shake my head. Not even a little.
"My ex… sometimes. Not usually, just when he… just sometimes." Her gaze goes to the view. "God. This is beautiful."
"He say that too?" Dean asks.
She laughs. "No. He was light with the compliments."
"And my boy Williams?" Dean asks.
"My lips are sealed." She laughs.
Dean is teasing her.
Now he's okay with her?
What the fuck happened in the last ten minutes?
Iris stops in a patch of shade. She bends over to set her backpack on the ground and pulls out a water bottle. "Is he always this…"
"Annoying?" I offer.
"Hot and cold," she says.
Brendon stops in the shade next to her. He looks to me and raises a brow. "You really don't get why he's pissed?"
I shrug.
"Fuck, you're like a teenager." Brendon shakes his head.
"That mean you want to fuck me?" I ask.
He doesn't take the bait. "You're not my type."
"It's obvious. He feels threatened." Iris looks up at me. "Like you're gonna stop hanging out with him now that you have a girlfriend."
"But we're not—"
"I know. But maybe he doesn't believe that." She sprinkles water over her forehead. It drips off her chin and onto her chest.
"He gets the same way whenever Sabrina shows up," Brendon says.
Iris turns to him. "Who?"
He shoots me a really? look.
Really. It's my baggage. I can keep it close.
She turns to me. "Who's Sabrina?"
"My sister." I run my hand through my hair. Suddenly, the sun feels too hot. My feet are tired. My back is aching. My stance is awkward.
"Did she and Dean date or something?" She cocks her head to one side, trying to understand.
"No. It's nothing like that." I offer her my hand.
She takes it.
Brendon shoots me a look then moves forward. "I'll stop him at the next hill."
"Yeah." I turn to Iris.
She's looking up at me with those beautiful blue eyes. "Why does your friend not like your sister showing up?"
"He just doesn't."
She presses her lips together. "That's it? He just doesn't."
"Yeah."
"Really?"
"Yeah. We've all been friends forever. They've always hated each other." That's bullshit, but it's the story I'm selling.
Iris nods like she believes me.
But I can tell she doesn't.
She's quiet for the rest of the hike.
Dean's more friendly and more obnoxious. But normal obnoxious, not I don't like you having a girl-space-friend obnoxious.
He carries the conversation—Brendon's never been much of a talker.
I try to focus on the strain in my legs, the sun on my skin, the crystal blue ocean spreading over the horizon.
But I don't.
The ocean makes me think of Iris's eyes.
It's not nearly as brilliant or deep. Not nearly as inviting.
My attention stays on her. The way her lips turn down or up. The way her hips sway as she walks. Where her gaze shifts—sometimes the sky, sometimes the ocean, sometimes Dean or Brendon or my chest or waist or ass, but never my eyes.
It's the same the way back.
It's the same when we get into the car. She clicks her seatbelt, flips the radio on, leans back, and looks out the window.
"You okay?" I turn the car on. Hit my blinker.
"Yeah. Tired. It felt good moving my body. I'm sure that's obvious to you, but it's been a long time since I've really exercised. I used to sit a lot. At work. And I do now. I mostly sit and study. So it's kind of a revelation that moving feels good. Or that hiking feels good. But it really is amazing, the fresh air and the view. And everything."
"It is." I turn. "We can do it again sometime."
"Yeah. We should. But, um, later. I'm wiped. It was a lot." She leans down to pull her water bottle from her backpack. "Not for you, I guess?"
"The heat always drains me."
"Yeah." She plays with the cap of her water bottle. "Me too." She takes a long sip. "I'm good. Really."
She's not.
But then neither am I.
I pull onto my street.
Iris leans forward to turn the music down. The sounds of pop-rock fall to a murmur—where do they get off continuing to call this station K Rock and playing this stuff?
"I, um." She pulls her arms over her chest. "I think I should head home. It's late."
It's not. The sun is just starting to set.
"I took the bus to the shop.” She pulls her backpack onto her lap. "Do you think you can drop me off in Brentwood? It's Saturday, so there shouldn't be too much traffic."
"Yeah, sure." I pull into my parking space. "But I gotta piss first."
"Oh. Sure."
"You can stay in the car or come in."
"I'll use the bathroom too." She shakes her empty water bottle. "And refill this."
I turn the car off, undo my seatbelt, pull the door open, press it shut.
Is this it?
The second shit gets complicated, we walk?
Am I that unable to discuss Sabrina with someone?
To share the one fucking thing I can't figure out with someone?
Iris slides her backpack onto one shoulder and presses the door closed. Her eyes meet mine for a second then they're on the concrete.
I motion after you.
She moves up the steps and to the door.
I slide my key into the lock and turn the handle. "You can go first."
"Okay." She moves through the living room and goes straight to the bathroom.
I press the door closed and lean against it.
This is bullshit.
I'm better than this. Stronger than this.
A few moments later, Iris steps out of the bathroom. She moves into the kitchen with careful steps. Focuses all her attention on filling her water bottle.
I head to the bathroom, piss, wash my hands.
When I step into the main room, she's sitting on the counter, tapping her feet together, sucking on her water bottle.
"If you want to know something, you can ask," I say.