“I’m sorry you’ve been put to so much trouble.”
“Oh baby!” Fatima exclaimed. “There is no trouble. You are my one and only, I will do whatever it takes to get you back.”
Shaun smiled and nodded. “Thank you, it feels good to hear that. Will you go back to Canada now that you know I’m okay?”
“No,” Fatima said, her voice stern. “I’m not leaving without you. I promise, Shaun, I won’t stop looking. It’s only a matter of time.”
“I’m scared for you,” Shaun admitted. “These people are unpredictable. As you know, they aren’t afraid to kill people they think are obstacles. I won’t be able to survive if anything happens to you.”
“I feel the same about you.” Fatima sounded exhausted and Shaun regretted putting her 61-year-old mother through the strain. Fatima was healthy and strong, but she shouldn’t be spending her retirement searching all over the world for her grown daughter.
“I’m so sorry about all this. I didn’t mean for any of it to happen.”
“I know, baby,” Fatima assured her. “You’re doing everything right. You continue to give the people who took you what they want. I’ll find you, and when I do, we’ll go home together.”
Shaun felt a wave of homesickness so strong she began silently crying again. She had to choke back tears as she said, “I want that so bad.”
They continued to talk for several more minutes until a soft knock sounded on the closet door. Saskia opened the door a crack and peeked around, her concerned gaze on Shaun tear-soaked face. She whispered, “Jozef is asking the staff where you are.”
Shaun nodded and said to her mom, “I have to go.”
“Can you call me again?” Fatima asked sharply. “Is there a way for me to contact you?”
Shaun looked at Saskia, who guessed at the question. She shook her head, her expression apologetic.
“I can’t, mom,” Shaun said, despair leaking into her voice. “I’m always watched and even this one phone call puts the person who gave it to me at risk. I can’t do it again.”
“I understand. You don’t stress about it, I’ll content myself with this conversation, with knowing you’re alive and healthy. It’s enough, for now.”
Shaun realized how much it took for her mom to agree to no contact. Not that she had a choice, but Fatima could get quite vocal if she wanted something. She was trusting her daughter’s judgment in this. “I love you, mom.”
“I love you too,” Fatima said, her voice strong despite the tears choking her. “I will keep looking for you. Never doubt it, baby.”
They hung up.
Overcome by emotion, Shaun curled onto her side on the floor of the closet and sobbed, her longing for her mother, for her home, so strong that she didn’t know how she would manage to get up again. To keep living. To walk out of the closet and go back to pretending everything was perfect in Wonderland.
She felt movement beside her as Saskia sat down. After some hesitation Saskia’s hand came down on her shoulder and she patted Shaun awkwardly. As Shaun’s tears began to dissipate a tissue box landed on the floor in front of her nose.
“Are you trying to comfort me?” Shaun reached for a tissue and blew her nose.
Saskia looked sheepish. “Yeah, sort of. We’re not a really huggy family.”
Shaun let out a watery laugh. “I found that out when your mom hugged me earlier.”
“Oh, she’s the worst,” Saskia said with a quick grin and a fake shudder. “Like being hugged by the grim reaper. Creepy and boney, but weirdly comforting at the same time.”
Though Shaun laughed at the assessment, she couldn’t help but agree. She pushed herself up on the carpet and sat next to Saskia, both of them with their backs pressed to the chest of drawers.
“Your mom was upset?” Saskia asked tentatively.
“Yeah,” Shaun sighed.
“Mine would be too.”
They sat in companionable silence until Shaun’s tears stopped and she felt well enough to stand again. She handed the burner phone to the younger woman. “I don’t know how to thank you for this. If there’s anything I can ever do for you, I don’t want you to hesitate. I’ll do whatever I can.”
Saskia nodded; her head tilted to the side thoughtfully. Then she handed the phone back to Shaun. “It can’t be traced back to me. You keep it… in case your mom tries to call back.”
Shaun took the phone and held it to her chest. It meant a lot to her that Saskia was willing to make such a sacrifice. Saskia had to know that by giving the phone to Shaun, she was risking her entire family. Shaun could walk out of her suite and immediately call the police, bringing hell down on the Kobas.
“Thank you,” Shaun said with heartfelt gratitude.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Jozef was in their suite when Shaun quietly opened the door and let herself inside. At first, he didn’t see her. He was sitting on the sofa, the TV blaring a music video. The lyrics for Journey’s "Don’t Stop Believin’" filling the apartment as Jozef tapped on his phone, texting someone. Shaun was surprised he enjoyed retro music. Based on the club, she would’ve pegged him as more of a DJ kind of guy.
Shaun wasn’t ready for a confrontation with her intense captor, so she quietly closed the door and moved noiselessly toward the bedroom. It was a mistake. Something must’ve alerted Jozef to her presence because he was on his feet instantly with his gun in hand pointing it at her. Shaun made a terrified squeak and jumped away, bringing her arms up to protect herself, as if they could stop bullets.
Once Jozef recognized her he put his gun back in the holster strapped to his chest.
I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were here, he signed, remorse bright in his eyes. I promised I wouldn’t point my gun at you and already I’ve broken this promise.
Shaun believed he was truly regretful.
It’s fine, you only startled me. She approached him slowly. The man looked incredibly good in casual clothes; a pair of jeans and a T-shirt with his leather jacket. I suppose you don’t like people creeping around behind you.
He dipped his head in a nod, his lip quirking. Anyone trying to sneak up on me is usually trying to kill me.
Shaun took another step closer to Jozef. Has that happened before?
Yes.
Jozef took the final steps between them, standing closer than a casual acquaintance would, but still not touching her. His gaze caressed her face, then dropped down her body. It wasn’t a particularly lascivious look, but the air around them began to feel heated and Shaun’s heart picked up in anticipation.
Jozef lifted his hand slowly, as if trying not to startle her again. He brushed the backs of his fingers down her cheek. You’ve been crying.
Shaun’s eyes widened. In her haste to get a little alone time after her call with her mother, she’d forgotten what a mess she must look like. She scrubbed her hands over her cheeks to erase the tear tracks. Jozef took her hands in his and gently lowered them.
Why? he asked.
Shaun glanced away, her gaze landing on the TV, which was now playing the music video for Blondie’s “Heart of Glass”. Despite the upbeat track, the atmosphere surrounding them had a distinctly intimate feel. When they communicated without speaking, it wrapped them in a silent bubble, one where they were the only two people in the world. Shaun felt as though she couldn’t lie to Jozef. She wasn’t sure why. After everything he’d put her through, she didn’t owe him her loyalty.