Tyler Knott Gregson
December 2 │Birdie
I’D BEEN WORKING AT THE FARMER’S WIFE FOR SEVERAL DAYS NOW AND COULD HONESTLY CLAIM TO LOVE IT, EVEN IF I DID FIND MYSELF EXHAUSTED BY THE END OF A SHIFT. I’d been tasked with some simple arrangements, shelf dusting, stock display, and a few other odds and ends. It all seemed second-nature to me, and I found myself wondering if I’d worked in retail at some point. Magnolia Lane, aka Maggie and the woman I’d spoken to days past, seemed happy enough with my performance that I figured she’d keep me on once the trial period had ended. She was always smiling, always encouraging.
Today she had me cleaning and organizing the storeroom, a task I was hoping would keep my mind off of Hayes and that kiss he’d planted on me the other day. I settled into a groove of sorting trash-donate-treasure style, the Bluetooth perched on the shelf beside me playing eighties rock.
Hayes hadn’t called or come by since our lunch, leaving me with a vague sense of annoyance. Yes, he was doing exactly as I’d asked him to, but I’d have thought that if I was important to him, he wouldn’t give up so fast. And yes, I realized how fickle and petty I was being.
I grumbled to myself as I stretched for a box on a top shelf, rising onto my tiptoes.
“What do you think you’re doing?”
Maggie stood in the doorway, hands on hips. “Um...getting this box down?” The edge of the box rested on my fingertips.
“I told you no lifting.”
“Oh. Sorry, wasn’t thinking.” I pushed the edge back and lowered myself, looking around for the folding stool as I did.
“And definitely no climbing,” she said, following my gaze.
Sheepishly I sidestepped the stool. “Maggie, I’m fine, really. Being pregnant is not some debilitating illness —”
“I don’t want to hear it. Do you know how awful I would feel if you were to lose your balance and fall?” Maggie grabbed the box herself, setting it down on the floor.
“I’m not going to fall. Besides, you hired someone to help you...not the other way around.”
“Psh. You are a huge help.”
I had confessed my pregnancy to Maggie the first day I went into work. I’d been terrified she would change her mind, but she had merely arched a brow and said, “bet that was a surprise.”
“To say the least.”
She hadn’t replied for a moment, then had cautiously asked, “Do you remember the father?”
“No,” I had returned. “I mean, we know it’s the man I was dating before the accident. But I don’t remember him, you know?” My forehead creased as I thought about it. “And I want to. He seems legitimately good, and kind, he has a good job, and —”
“Good looking? Does he do it for you?”
I had laughed. “He’s a ten. And yes, he totally does it for me. But... what if I never remember him, and me, the way we used to be? If I never love him the way I did? What if there’s someone out there who’s better for the me I am now, rather than previous me, or...?” I didn’t finish the thought, but it was plain. What if Hayes never loved the new me the way he had once loved Birdie Grant? What if I fell in love with him — all over again — and he decided we were better off apart?
Maggie’s eyes were sad. “That’s a fear we all have, sweetie. Whether we’re suffering from amnesia or not. Maybe you choose not to worry about that so much. Just focus on the here and now.”
Now, as Maggie left and I sat down on the floor by the box, I couldn’t help worrying over it. We were a good three weeks past the date of the accident, and while I felt like I knew more, I didn’t remember more. It was frustrating.
With a shake of my head, I pushed the thoughts away and settled in to my work. A couple of hours later, the storeroom looked amazing — clean, organized, and with room to move in the once cramped space. As I stood with hands on hips to take it in, my cell buzzed with an incoming call.
“Hey, Mom.”
“Are you okay to chat for a minute, Birdie?”
I peeked into the storefront. It was empty of customers, and when she saw me on the phone Maggie winked. “Of course. What’s up?”
“I needed to talk to you about something, but it feels like old times. I never see you.”
“I’m sorry, Mom. I’m just trying to figure out who I am.”
“No need to apologize. I understand. I just needed to catch you before too much time had passed.”
“What’s going on?”
“First, this is going to seem sudden and it may feel insensitive. I want you to know that you knew about this before the accident.” Her voice was defensive, and my fingers tensed in reflex on where they held the phone.
“Mom…?”
“The restaurant is closing.”
“Oh, no! You were laid off?”
When she spoke again Mom’s voice was grim. “Yes. I’m sorry. I know you needed my insurance.”
“Don’t worry about that. I’ll figure something out.”
“There’s more, though.” I steeled myself. “Since finding out that the restaurant was closing, I’ve been working with a realtor to sell the house, Birdie. He called this morning with an offer.”
“Mom, no!” I spoke more sharply than I’d intended. “You can’t! Can’t you wait until you get another job —”
“I accepted another job at the beginning of November. With your uncle, in Georgia.”
“Georgia.” I slumped against the doorframe, seeking the end of my braid with my free hand.
“You can come with me —”
“I can’t, Mom. I’ll never get my memories back if I do that. I need a familiar environment. I just...I don’t understand why this is all happening so fast.”
“It’s not, though. You were living with Hayes when I started talking to your uncle about moving to Georgia. The manager of Henry’s let us all know that it was coming. We all had plenty of time to make plans. You probably don’t remember, but your uncle has his own restaurant. It worked out that he needed a manager for it, so everything was pretty much set. I’d contacted the realtor, put everything in motion. Then the accident happened, and I had to put things on a back burner. I can’t put it off any longer.”
I rubbed my forehead. “I see... I’ve gotta go, Mom. We’ll talk later.”
Without waiting for a response, I disconnected. I had to; if I didn’t, I’d start screaming. I stared dully at the wall. Couldn’t she choose me, just once? Just one fucking time? I couldn’t believe she hadn’t at least told me this was in the works. Even if the people that surrounded me weren’t supposed to drop my entire life on me at once, there were things I needed to know. To prepare for. And then to call while I was at work to drop the bomb...what kind of relationship did we have, anyway?
“Has it told you any secrets yet?”
“Huh?” I turned to see Maggie standing in the door, watching me watch the wall. “Oh. No, sorry. Just thinking.”
“Everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine,” I answered, but it was reflex and we both knew it. She looked at me closely for a second too long, and I broke eye contact, glancing away. “Finished the storeroom!” I said brightly.