My fingers curled under, lightly at first as I pushed my nails into my palm. He inflicted emotional pain, so I created physical pain, drawing connections between the two.
“I'm not into anyone here, so relax. Your posse is safe from my seduction.”
He got off the bed in one motion, and his long legs took big steps. He leaned into the door, the thickness hitting him in the chest as he leaned into me. “More like claws.”
Without even a goodnight, he pushed the door closed, forcing me out of its way before it sandwiched any part of me in its frame.
I scoffed at his all-so-fitting door: black, with no clue as to who lived behind it.
Ours had our names with a white board, like anyone would use that over sending a text message. It was very Luna. She believed people could be good but I knew better.
Statistically, I'd seen every corner of the United States, and everyone was just as selfish and rude as the next town. I knew better than anyone; no one was going to look out for anyone but themselves.
Why else did I wear sarcasm so well? Because if no one cares, at least it's funny.
Bolton
This was the death I loathed most.
Actually, I loathed them all, but today was cheerleading tryouts on our field at the same time as practice, and I wasn't in the mood to hear Kate and watch her wearing her fake crown today.
Her voice was always soaked in this “too good for everyone” tone that made it hard to hear what she was saying without hating her. It was especially annoying, because she insisted on doing tryouts on the field, claiming it gave “intensity” to the process.
Intensity she didn't need her surroundings for.
I tossed my pads on the ground as I walked up to Nyx, who was not so inconspicuously scanning the new crop of freshmen trying out.
Some of them looked so nervous I guessed they wouldn't last the first half hour, while others looked too confident.
I watched the opposite direction, at our newly formed team still trying to get our bearings this season. Everyone was learning their place and trying to settle back into playing consistently again.
“Luna should try out.”
My arms folded over my chest as I watched the team get into formation I leaned back making sure my eyes connected with Nyx. “Excuse me?”
He coughed like he never meant to say it out loud, and I wasn't supposed to be caring enough to listen. “Yeah? She's cheerful and shit.”
I patted his shoulder in pity and let the small laugh take over my expression, a rare feat.
We both knew he liked Luna, and she obviously liked him, but nothing would happen, not now or later. Nyx was in the category of using them and dumping them. Not even for sexual favors, but homework, coffee, someone to cheer him during games.
Luna wasn't the dump them type. We all knew that. She was made of sunshine, love for animals, and too many damn feelings.
Nyx was anti-feelings, anti-happy, and anti-sunshine.
If you're asking me? He thinks he's unlovable. There's too much depth, and no one can swim.
The whole practice I could feel a thousand eyes on me, watching my every move, like I was some member of a boy band. Without looking, I could tell you their eyes were filled with lust and envy.
Every freshman assumed I must be dating Queen Bitch Kate just because of our repellant attitudes. Austin didn't care one bit. He swore by meditation and his fucking kombucha. Once I realized he didn't care, I stopped making a scene in order to set everyone right in one shot.
Austin looked at me as I caught a perfect spiral, and our look exchanged it all. This kind of jealousy of Kate only secured her empire for another year amongst a sea of insecure girls.
I shouted to the team to do our typical drills while I slacked off. As a co-captain, I pretty much made the rules, and if I was being honest I didn't need the practice. I'd been doing this half as long as professionals in the NFL. I drank my water, while I casually looked on to the girls trying out, spotting one not like the other.
New Girl.
Wasn't this a curious development. In her Doc Martens, all black outfit, and opposite of spunky attitude, she was trying out? Now, I was interested. It would either be the death of our Queen Bitch or a blow up; either way, I wasn't missing this.
Upper class man and myself decided practice was turning into being silent judges for the try out. We watched every girl do what was demanded of them, enthralled with calling dibs.
New Girl stepped up to Kate and the girls meant to be co-captains, but they knew better. This wasn't even playing ground.
Kate demanded to know if she could tumble, and with a huge sigh moving her shoulders, she pushed her finger in her mouth to fish out her gum and flicked it in the trash, before preparing for her next move. Effortlessly, she tucked and flipped, shocking even me.
She outshined every girl, even while trying to snuff herself out in all that black.
I liked black.
I liked dulling the rest down to see what really mattered.
I like the honesty of black.
Arianna did everything almost as good as Kate, and I wondered if she used to be someone else.
Someone less herself.
Someone less filled with sass and snark.
I watched until she was less focused on the try out and scanned the field. I made a point to stop paying attention before she could catch me staring. Nyx threw the ball my direction from the center of the field at full speed right past my head. He had good aim; anyone else and the ball would have collided with my face.
After practice ended, I looked around the field, but the girls already finished and left with almost no trace. I shook off seeing her one last time for no reason other than to feed my own irritation.
I swiped my gear up off the ground and headed for the showers. The overcast of Seattle wasn't a saving grace today; the heat still boiled and blistered under all our padding.
I walked down the tunnel behind the team when I heard the immature noises of something catching their attention.
Arianna. Places she shouldn't be, again.
I walked right by her, not stopping for any extra second. “Never learn, huh?”
She pushed off the wall, with her arms folded against her chest. It was hard to look past her chest that she was clearly outlining without trying. “Don’t pretend you weren't watching me out there.”
That was all I needed to stop me in my tracks. I was caught hating her less.
I dropped my gear again, but this time the thud against the concrete echoed in the tunnel. “No one was watching you, sweetheart.”
She didn't step closer to me or try to breach the gap between us. She was planted in her accusation. “Seriously? That's what you're going with?”
She was baiting me to confess, and I wasn't going to give her the satisfaction.
“Yes, Arianna, it's tradition. Upper class men claim their…” I caught my own words as they formed, swallowing them whole, all the misogynistic edges. “…territory for the season.”
“Who claimed me?” I watched the smile tug at her lips when she asked.
“Not me, if that's what you're asking.”
My response fizzled out the spark that twinkled inside her irises. I almost felt bad, but my desire to be honest always trumped anyone’s feelings.
She didn't respond as I felt her eyes take inventory of me: all honesty, brutal, and no cracks for any doubt. She was still the new girl. She was a risk that no upper classman was going to take on.