She immediately asked me what was wrong and simultaneously handed me a Ziplock baggie of grapes, like whatever it was would be cured by her gesture. I popped one in my mouth, unmoving from letting the blood drain to my face, hopefully numbing the parts of me that were on fire with cabin fever.
“I'm bored, Luna. I'm dying here.”
She smiled sweetly at my dramatics. “There's a party tonight… Cheer up! Do you wanna come with us?”
I sat up, ravenous for more information. I pulled my Doc Martens on and grabbed my hoodie to pull on. She giggled in such an innocent way at my rushed enthusiasm.
Nothing could be bad about this girl. She didn't know what mean was. I quickly wondered how her easy-target attitude didn't land her in a less than desirable position in the high school hierarchy. Maybe the group was her way of protecting herself.
“Guess that means you want to come...? I just need to change my shirt.”
I drew my eyes back from critiquing her demeanor and gave her the privacy I would want. I unlocked my phone, still waiting for any kind of message from my ex-boyfriend. The same boyfriend I got into trouble with and stomped on his heart, all in the same week.
He didn't try to reach out after everything happened. I didn't expect him to, but my mind kept wandering back to the precious moments we shared—all the casual “I love you’s” we exchanged and how he took my virginity. I may be hard to pin down, full of sass, and operating solely on dangerous adventures, but when it came to love… Well, I was as sappy as the rest of them. I could commit to anything if it meant love.
Apparently to the wrong people.
I wasn’t bitter or anything.
My eyes traveled back to Luna, who was still picking between two different tops she would cover up with her chunky knit sweater anyways. I noticed a tattoo on her shoulder, and all the excitement bubbled to my surface.
“Is that a tattoo? Omg! I knew you weren't all goody-goody.”
Her innocently smooth face was overcome with embarrassment, as she quickly turned around and stammered over her own words.
“It's… it's a birthmark, actually. It's from birth.”
I stood up and crossed the small room to get a better look at the light mark on her shoulder. “That's where birthmarks do tend to be from: birth. Can I see?”
She reluctantly turned away from me, displaying it not so proudly.
I was sure she had never said no to anything, ever.
I looked at the mark more closely, and it looked like an old scar or a burn. I recognized the shape; it was on the tip of my tongue, teasing me to think harder.
Cancer—not the terminal kind, the astrological kind.
“It's like the astrological sign. You ever notice that? Weird.”
Her features sank into panic, like it was a sore spot for me to have mentioned it, yet she’d never discourage someone. She turned around, throwing her shirt on, to cover up any more of my inquiring.
I moved back, grabbing a lipstick off my nightstand and perfectly coating my lips in a deep red. I held it out in a silent gesture to match her grapes from earlier.
“No, thanks. I just wear a clear gloss.”
I watched her pick a teal sweater from her closet and pull it over her arms.
All that was missing was some grandkids and cats.
She playfully bumped her shoulder into mine, and we both pulled back when the shock zapped us both.
I laughed. “See? Dying. It's been happening since I got here. Even the school doesn't want me here.”
Her laugh halted into a smile that resembled strong sympathy.
I guess I was only half joking, most people just took all of me as sarcasm.
“Who's party is it anyways?”
I hadn't met anyone here who had even seemed like they had ever been to a party, let alone would throw one on campus. Everyone was so rigid here—rule followers. The only exceptions were Nyx and Bolton. I was still trying to figure out how anyone fit here.
“Jasper. He's on the football team. You'll meet him at games and pre and post celebrations. Pretty much a party follows him everywhere.”
“One of those, huh?”
“He's certainly something. He's gorgeous, though, so his flaws get overlooked.”
I muttered to myself in discontent. I had met every type of Jasper at every new school I went to, from coast to coast. Entitled, gorgeous, and always the one to make high school harder than it needed to be—for everyone but himself. I despised the Jaspers of the world.
I followed her out of our room, out of the building and into the field behind it. She walked through the tall grass with ease, and it wasn't until that moment that I wondered where the party was. Boarding schools didn’t offer much privacy. I staggered behind her, kicking the blades of grass against my boots and watching the moisture of Seattle coat cover the toe.
“We can walk there. It's on the other side of campus, the old abandoned building past the field. They stopped using it in the 90’s because of a fire in one of the labs.”
She willingly gave information without me having to ask. She was too giving, and it made me suspicious.
“Anyone off campus come to his parties?”
She slowed down her focused pace and smiled in my direction. The lamps illuminating the campus after dark put her smile perfectly on display. “Not interested in anyone at Arcadia?”
I shrugged. I wasn’t interested in any aspect of this place. Maybe a boy would anchor down some wild part of me I couldn't control—the part of me that craved adventure and danger.
Detention with Nyx wasn't the worst thing I had ever suffered through, but Nyx didn't illicit the same interest I had in Bolton, the boy who breezed by me so quickly my head spun around before I could give him my mean mug. I didn't know what my interest was in him, but something about him held my curiosity hostage.
All my ex-boyfriends were wholesome and nice, basically the opposite of Bolton in every way.
So why did I care if he didn't like me? Why did I feel this hell bent need to get his approval? Why did he seem like the most dangerous adventure I'd have yet?
I heard Luna’s soft voice smooth my thoughts down to a whisper when she spoke. “Not even Nyx? Every girl wants him, because they have zero chance with Bolton.”
“He's the strong, silent type, right? He barely spoke during our hour sentencing.”
She looked down at the sidewalk instead of at me. “He's just been through a lot… he's moody. He's on scholarship too. He only transferred in last year. No one knows much about him.”
That sounded about right. Brooding was always in some abusive relationship with mystery.
It was all just too much work for me. I wasn't the type to hug it out until you hit your head into some epiphany.
I liked the kind of guy who knew exactly who they were; it wasn't silent, but ruthlessly deafening.
It would take more than a strong silence to tame me.
The abandoned building was exactly out of a horror movie, and for a minute, I briefly wondered if this was a type of hazing as the new kid. This place was already creepy and sinister enough, but the threat of dying of boredom had me even accepting my own innominate death.
My body tensed with just the thought. I could be walking into a situation I wasn't prepared for, all because I was letting my boredom drive my actions.